Allison’s desires

Chapter 1

I never was the child my mum favoured, neither was I the brightest child. Or at least that was what my mum always said.

The door swung open revealing the displeased face of my mum. I always thought she never knew how to smile till my younger sister came along when I was five. She had the brightest smile in her eyes as she held her and I suddenly wanted my sister gone.

That was the first dark thought I ever had.

....

“Your sister hasn’t had her breakfast yet.” She said looking me up and down with the look of disgust written on her face before she left.

I stood up from the bed not wanting her to come back or else I was sure to get a beating.

I looked in the mirror, seeing my reflection. I normally didn’t do this because I never liked the person I saw.

The person who was in the mirror was filled with scars. Scars gotten from different beatings growing up. Scars from different assaults.

My mum never bothered to hide the marks she gave me and the neighbours never cared to look my way.

I was always different from my family. Where they were blonds I got a brown hair. Where they had the prettiest shade grey eyes I got a dull brown. They had the body of models and I was just well ... me

“Happy birthday Allison” I said to myself in a dull voice.

Every year for the past twenty years I always looked forward to my birthdays, hoping that I would get woken up with a birthday song like they did my sister, Grace. But that wasn’t the case for me.

“At least I didn’t get woken up with a beating this year” I tried to joke with my self.

I got dressed and made my way down the stairs. They weren’t down stairs yet. I heaved a sigh. It was one thing to wake up late, but Heavens forbid they ate breakfast a minute late...

I looked at the scar that ran through my leg because of the day food came in a second late.

Never again.

I got to making breakfast. Something light and quick to make.

“finally, I thought you were going to make me come get you again” my mum said in the sweetest voice I ever heard.

It was a trap. The moment you tried to yet close. She’d bite.

I just nodded and continued my work. I was done as soon as they were all seated.

They ate, sitting and talking like a family. I wanted that.

“aren’t you going to join us?” dad said as though hearing my thoughts. He never cared about family matters. That included the way mum treated me. He would leave in the morning so early and come back late at night. He never bothered to ask about the scars, to him, they were non-existent.

“No, you guys go ahead, I’ll join you in a moment” I said moving further into the kitchen. To be out of sight for a bit. I was trying my best not to get hit today

My dad said nothing else. He never once hit me or raise his voice at me, but I wished that he could stand up for me, for once.

Seeing that they were done eating, I came to clear up

I came close to my mum to take her plate seeing as she was done. She froze up.

She always did this. It was either she froze up or she lashed out. It was one time where she begged me not to come any further. Although, it didn’t sound like it was me she was talking to, at the same time, it did.

“It’s your birthday today” she said after I had carried all the plates from the dinner table and dropped them In the sink.

I stopped mid-way, a little surprised that she acknowledged it. I always thought she never knew my birthday or care about it since she was either always extra scary on those days or ignored me totally.

“Ye..yes, my twentieth” I stammered to get the words out.

“I know that” she snapped, causing me to move back even though she was across the kitchen “ you are more than of age, you should move out now. Find a place of your own and start life” she said all these not looking at me.

“yes.. I planned on moving but I’ll need a little more ..”

“tonight would be best. I’ve been planning to use that space for a while now” she said cutting me off. I looked at her in disbelief.

I was meant to move out on my eighteenth birthday but she found the stash of cash I had been saving and took it that was supposed to be my down payment. I had saved up three years for that. She knew I was still struggling to get the money back since I had no stable job.

I nodded. I was just going to make it work somehow.

I went up to my room after they had breakfast, sitting on the floor and looking around.

I was tired .

Tired of the way I was always treated.

Tired of the way i was never acknowledged. Just generally tired.

I heard shouts from downstairs. It was odd. Everyone was meant to be out of the house by now and I was meant to be Alone but no. The screams were getting more heated with each word so I decided to go check it out.

The closer I got, the clearer the words got.

“NO EVAN, I WOULD NOT HEAR ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT BASTARD CHILLD!!!?”

My mum screamed at the top of her lungs and you could literally see the veins in her head popping while she turned red.

“She is still in the house, calm down, Stella, she would hear you.” My dad said trying to shut her up. “Look, I know you can’t stand her bug done you think you’re being too harsh?” just felt my heart drop to my stomach.

‘They were talking about me’ I thought to myself

My dad said in a calm and collected voice. Quite the opposite from what my mum looked like right now.

“I don’t care at this point. Twenty years, Evan. Twenty good years and I put up with It. I put up with that ... that.. that thing! I can’t any more. She is useless, stupid, She isn’t even worthy of my love. I’ve tried Evan.”

“she is still your child.” He said looking at her. I couldn’t place the look on his face as his body was turned to back me and his greying dark hair had covered most of his face

“And I wished I had the option to have aborted the mistake that had befallen us, and free me of this misery”