Chapter 21
Jaxson
It’s impossible to sleep. I don’t even pretend anymore, sitting up in bed, reading one of my father’s old war books on strategy, feeling Aurora shift under the covers and whimper for me to hold her. I let my hand rest on her bare back, watching him settle at my touch and drift back to sleep. I hardly have it in me to look at her now.
Not after what she said to Luke.
I had my father tell Luke he will leave by sunrise and if he doesn’t, he will die here. I can’t have someone like that around my mate. She was manipulated to kiss him, to be alone in a room with him, knowing damn well that I would have found out and been furious.
She is confused, she told me that herself and I believe it, but I will never let her near that asshole again. He saved her life and that’s the only reason he is still breathing in this palace. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have hesitated to kill him the second he reached for her.
I keep seeing it in my mind, replying slower and slower each time, watching her confess to him that she loves him, and hearing him say it back, despite his mating pull to another female. That made me angry enough, but I watched as he reached for her, for my mate, and piled his lips onto hers. She doesn’t feel the mating pull even though she has loved him for years; I thought by him having a mate it would deter anything from transpiring.
I was wrong.
“Please,” she whimpers, curling against my hips, clinging to my body.
I brush my hand down her spine, the scars so apparent in the dark, so pink and fresh and painful. Pulling up the covers, I hide the sight of her bare back, marked because of my brother. I hate every second of it. I wish I could heal her; I could convince her to stop loving her old friend and instead embrace me, embrace everything I could give to her.
Instead, she weeps in her sleep, overwhelmed.
I set aside the book and lay beside her, letting her head rest on my arm while I pulled her to my chest, her surface so warm, spritzed with the floral bouquet smell that has always graced her body. I hold her, inhaling her, stirring at the thought of having her body underneath me again.
“Sweet mate,” I hum, kissing her cheek, cold with tears. “You’re safe with me.”
She cringes, her body going taut. “Jaxson,” she cries out, shivering. “I’m sorry.”
“I know,” I say, hearing her apologize all night, every hour since she kissed that mutt.
She nods, coughing an inhale. “I’m— I’m sorry,” she huffs.
“Stop apologizing and go to sleep,” I say, wanting to forget about it all together.
I know I will never forget about it, and it will probably always replay in the back of my mind, but I refuse to let her continue apologizing for something he had started. She confessed the feelings I already knew she had for him, but he kissed her. That’s where my wolf steps in.
I hold her closer, knowing she feels warmth with me. She feels at peace with me.
“Tomorrow—” she gusts, eyes sealed shut. “My parents.”
I bite at my lip, knowing it was planned to have her birthday set for tomorrow, but I don’t know if it’s a good time to reward her behavior by going home to see her parents after commenting such a treasonous act against her mate.
I just need her to trust me, to love me, and if that means leaving the palace for a day or two so she can spend some time with her friends and family, I suppose I have to do what is necessary. That only means now that we will be headed to her home at the same time as the lover boy. My wolf snarls in my head.
“Luke,” she whimpers.
I feel myself tighten. “No.”
“Going home, with Luke,” she mumbles.
Rolling my eyes, I’ve forgotten that as much as I’ve been slipping into her mind link, she can do just as much in mine, too. Apparently, even half asleep. “Just to see your parents and your friends. Nothing more, Aurora. You are not talking to him anymore.”
She turns to roll away, her back to me, but I can’t stand the space between us. I yank her backwards, flush with my body, and hold her there as she sleeps. I know I can’t sleep, still picturing the way he grabbed her, the way he kissed her, and knowing that he did it after I showed him mercy and tried to make things right with him after Xander’s incident.
I won’t be lenient with him again. Not after what he did.
The carriage moves through the mundane mountains, curving through villages and packs from all around. Aurora lays sideways against the cushioned bench, still tired after a sleep full of nightmares, of waking up and begging for me to help her, to hold her. I enjoy being needed by my mate, my wolf happy to oblige, and it makes it easier not wanting to kill Luke who is in the carriage behind our own.
I can still smell his scent, picturing the moment he laid his hands on my mate, his first mistake. I won’t forget his second, most detrimental mistake. Kissing my mate. Not only will it shatter the trust of his union with his new mate, but it really pushed Aurora closer to me in some ways. She held me through the night, after our intense, passionate moment in bed together.
She cares for my feelings. I can sense her guilt and it makes me aware that at least she cares for me enough to feel bad for what that mutt did. I want to wake her up, kiss her all over, and threaten this carriage to tip over by sheer, sexual force, but I leave her be, enjoying her gentle whines of an easy sleep.
The carriage stops and the heavy smell of burning oak logs and an algae creek fills the air instantly. We are at the North Woods pack. I hope my carriages haven’t brought too much attention but as I wake Aurora, seeing her senses perk at the familiar smells, we exit the side door to a small crowd of curious children and tentative parents.
I spot her parents on the porch of a small, crooked house up the hill. Aurora lights up with warmth, running up to her parents, to their old family home, and I keep an eye on Luke who meets a short, petite young woman on the way up to a house nearby. They embrace, first with their arms, then their lips, and I scowl, a threat if there ever was one.
He flickers me a quick glance, nodding once, as though he knows the rules of my game here. He tries anything again and not only is he dead, but his new mate will learn of his confession and make-out moment with my mate.
Once he is out of sight, I climb the hill to meet Aurora, her parent’s doting over her with concerned and worried grins. She tries to assure them she is okay, but I watch her hand brush her shoulder, clinging to a spot where I know Xander’s claw marks sit prevalent on her skin.
“It’s nice to see you again,” I say, tipping my head to them both. “I do hope we can look past our previous interaction in effort to better the memory of Aurora’s birthday celebration.”
They both nod.
If I weren’t a royal they’d spit at me; I can see the loathe+ in their eyes.
For now, they ignore me, pulling their daughter inside the house where streamers of purple and pink hang from the banister of the stairs, tossed aimlessly over the kitchen cabinets and strung through the light fixtures.
My mate stays in awe, admiring something so simple that I can’t help but find it endearing. She didn’t want a gala, she didn’t need a large gathering to parade through, she just needed to feel how welcomed and loved she was with minimal effort. Nothing else.
“We will have dinner and cake here tonight,” her father says, showing off the small ensemble of a few presents that sit strewn on the dining table.
“Ann and Paul will be over soon,” her mom says, toiling away over pots and pans on the stove. “Row said his parents are letting him off work around six so he will be last to arrive. I assume you invited Luke?”
Aurora shoots me an unsteady look.
“He’s got other plans,” is all I say.
“That’s a shame,” her father chimes in. “He could bring Mary over. We’ve come so close to her as his mate in the last few days—” he looks toward Aurora, holding herself as though to keep herself intact. “Never-mind that,” he says gleaming. “It’s your night, darling. Whatever you want.”
She nods, eying the stairs before ultimately scaling them in a few, lunging steps. I follow, hearing her sniffle back a cry. She is perched in a small, quaint bedroom near the front of the house that overlooks the forest. Draping, dreary trees hang near her windows, in the shade of constant downcast that pours over the wooded valley.
I can’t help but notice her curled in a small bed, the sheets and covers unmade, weeping quietly into the pillows. I brush my hand up her back, letting her know I am here for her, with her, and not ever against her. Even if it feels that way about what happened with Luke.
“I’m sorry,” she says, shaking her head.
“Don’t be.”
“No, I should be. This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have—” she stops, shaking her head.
I break through the link and see her accepting his kiss, feeling the tingle in her body when he took her hips in his hands and pulled for her to come closer. She shuts her wet eyes, trying to block it out but it’s too late. I’ve seen it all before.
Part of me knows she is punishing herself, which only brings her misery, and I don’t want that. But it might also be the one thing holding her back from trying anything like that again.
“My mate,” I say, sitting beside her in her small bed, her hands curling around my abdomen as she rests her head in my lap. “My beautiful mate. I hate when you cry.”
She sniffles. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” I say. “Stop crying..”
Pulling herself together, she eyes me with a wide, wet gaze. “Will you hurt me for what I’ve done? Will you punish Luke? It was my fault, if you have to lay blame anywhere.”
“I will never hurt you,” I say, sure of my claim. “I just want you to be happy and I know when you turn twenty, and we are mated in ceremony, you will get to feel as happy and as fulfilled as I feel now.”
“Are you sure I will be accepted? I’m a commoner.”
I recall my ferocity with what James did and what it spurred on, but I’ve been training to be the king, the Alpha, all my life. I’m just worried about Aurora and how she will manage as this transition takes place. I’m trying to be gentle with her kind, but the servants still fear me and my royal pack members. That may never change.
“I’m not worried about it,” I say, releasing every ounce of tension within me. “I know they will love you as I do. You will make the perfect Luna, Aurora. How could I be worried with such assurances?”
She grins, seemingly so pleased with that response.
It’s true, too. She will be the best Luna, the most perfect mate. It’s the wolves that want her dead that keep me up at night.
