Chapter 218

Hannah

Golden sunlight streamed through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the blankets. I stretched languidly and rolled over, already smiling contentedly as consciousness returned and the memories of last night floated back in—even sweeter than the sweet dreams I’d had all night.

Noah’s arms were still wrapped around me, warm and comforting. He tugged me closer as I turned to face him, and I opened my eyes to find those green eyes smiling down at me.

He was still here. He hadn’t slipped out of bed, hadn’t left me. I almost pinched myself to see if it was real.

“Morning,” he murmured with a lazy smile. His voice was deep and gravelly from sleep, and the sound of it felt like velvet-covered fingers gently stroking at the inside of my mind.

I leaned into him, reveling in the sensation of his warm breath tickling my hair. “Mm. Morning,” I replied, my own voice still husky with sleep. “How long have you been awake?”

Noah shrugged, his thumb brushing across my cheekbone. “A while.”

We laid there like that for a bit, each of us lazily waking up in the light of the morning sun. It was a Tuesday, and I knew he likely had some meeting or another he had to run off to, but he didn’t seem eager to get up.

Finally, after what felt like a blissful eternity laying together, he slipped out from under the covers. I couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed as I watched his nude form, golden skin gleaming in the sunlight, head into the bathroom.

But a few moments later, I heard the shower turn on and he poked his tousled head out. “Shower with me?”

Beaming, I practically leapt out of bed like a kid on Christmas morning. Of course I would shower with him—I thought he would never ask.

The warm water soothed my tired muscles, which were still a little sore from the adrenaline that had coursed through me during my panic attack yesterday. But all of that felt miles away by now, especially as Noah began to gently scrub the loofah across my body, lathering me with fragrant soap.

I felt a blush creep up my neck, the heat spreading to my cheeks as he moved the loofah over my skin. His touch was gentle, just as reverent as it had been in bed last night.

“Noah,” I said, curiosity getting the better of me, “when did you know you loved me?”

His hand stilled. “It wasn’t just one moment. It was a lot of little things.”

“Such as?” I bit my lip, arching my back into him. Noah let out a small growl of approval as I began sliding my body against his under the water, covering him in soap.

“Like… the way you light up when you talk about your Luna Council projects,” he said, his hands caressing my slick hips. “And how determined you’ve been to better yourself. The strength you showed during your eating disorder recovery.”

I listened, captivated, as Noah recounted moments from the past few months—moments I hadn’t even realized were significant to him, such as watching me eat a chocolate croissant at the hotel and seeing my fighting get better as we trained together.

“Then there was a couple weeks ago,” he continued, a smile tugging at his lips, “when you were sitting in the living room working on your penpal program proposal. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor, and…”

He shook his head, chuckling. I’d turned to face him by now, our bodies tangled together beneath the warm water. “What?” I asked.

“It’s just…” He laughed again. “When you concentrate, you have a habit of sticking your tongue out a little. I’ll confess I once found it annoying, but it’s honestly really cute. I think I knew then, as I saw the determination on your face while you worked, that I had begun to love you.”

I felt too full of emotion to even speak, so I wrapped my arms around his neck and tugged him close, kissing him deeply. He responded in kind, and though I felt something warm and hard press against my leg as I slipped my tongue around his, he didn’t ask for sex. This moment was intimate enough.

Finally, we shut off the water and stepped out into the steamy bathroom, wrapping towels around ourselves. I watched, drying my hair as Noah brushed his teeth. I watched the hard planes of his body, the way his skin glistened with droplets of water.

It was in that moment, as I took in his features, that something hit me.

Suddenly, I turned and strode out of the bathroom. The cool air of the bedroom chilled my damp skin as I padded to the closet. There, I retrieved the box I had kept hidden for so long.

Noah was standing in the bathroom doorway, brow furrowed. I held the box up. “Take a seat.

Curiosity evident on his face, he obeyed and perched on the edge of the bed. I set the box down beside him, opened it, and pulled out a stack of yellowed envelopes. “What’s this?” he asked, cocking his head.

“These are the letters you wrote me all those years ago,” I explained, handing them to him. “The ones you said you don’t remember.”

His brow furrowed as he began to read, his eyes scanning the pages. I watched his face intently, looking for any sign of recognition, but saw only confusion and a hint of frustration.

“Hannah,” he said finally, looking up at me. “Are you sure I wrote these?”

I nodded, biting back the little sting that that question left in my throat. “Positive.”

He frowned as he flipped to the next page. “These are... incredibly heartfelt. And it’s my handwriting. But I… I don’t remember writing any of them.”

“You really don’t remember?”

He shook his head. “Not in the slightest. It’s like there’s a blank space where these memories should be.”

My heart sank a little, but I tried not to show it. “Do you think something traumatic might have happened during that time? Maybe you have some kind of… I don’t know, selective amnesia?” He’d mentioned that those were dark times before. Maybe they were even darker than either of us knew.

Noah ran a hand through his hair, looking frustrated. “I don’t know. It’s possible, I suppose.”

“Have you ever considered therapy? It might help unlock those memories, if there are any.”

He was quiet for a moment, his eyes distant as he considered my words. Then he nodded slowly. “I’ll think about it,” he said. “For now, though, I want to focus on the present. On us.”

He rose, towel still draped loosely around his narrow hips, and pinched my chin gently between his thumb and forefinger. He tilted my face up to meet his gaze. “We should finally throw you an official baby shower. I want to treat you like the princess you are, Hannah. You deserve it after everything you’ve been through.”

I felt my cheeks heat up again, a warmth spreading through my chest at his words. “I… I think I’d like that.”

With that, he nodded and made his way into the closet, returning a few moments later with a shirt and a pair of pants—and a sundress for me. He laid everything on the bed, and I quirked an eyebrow at how casual his own attire looked for a work day.

“What’s this?” I asked.

He shrugged as he toweled himself off and began to dress. “We’ve got a day of party planning ahead of us. I hope you’re ready for it.”

I cocked my head. “No meetings? On a Tuesday?”

Noah smirked. “I canceled everything while you were still asleep earlier.”

I wanted to smack his arm and call him a lovestruck fool, but I contained myself. Instead, smiling, I dressed alongside him. He glanced over at me as I did, taking in the plush appearance of my thighs, my rounded belly.

“You look great lately, by the way. It’s nice to see you recovering.”

I blushed, and he added, “You know, when you were so thin... I was terrified. I thought I might lose you.”

I swallowed hard, those words striking deeper than he realized. For a moment, I considered telling him that I had died. That everything we’d been through lately was a second chance.

But as I opened my mouth to tell him, I couldn’t. The words felt stuck in my throat.

“Hannah?” He noticed my hesitation. “What is it? You look like you want to say something.”

I shook my head, forcing a smile and pushing down the guilt of keeping this secret. “Nothing,” I said, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “I was just thinking that I’d like a chocolate cake for the party.”

Noah chuckled and shook his head at me.

“Chocolate cake it is, then.”