Chapter 88

Hannah

It was quiet as I laid in bed, the room completely dark save for the last bit of sunlight peeking through the curtains. I pressed the cool washcloth a bit harder against my aching forehead, yearning for relief.

My hand ran up and down across my belly as I laid there—at least my baby wasn’t hurt. I had only hit my head when I fell.

Only, I thought to myself with a snort. It was still bad enough that I had hit my head.

And my husband was still nowhere to be found.

“Luna Hannah?” a soft voice pulled me out of my reverie. I cracked my eyes open to see none other than my maid, Ana, poking her head through the door.

“Ana,” I croaked out, sitting up a little further. “Please, come in.”

Ana walked into the room with a tray in her hands; upon closer inspection, it contained some toast with jam and a cup of tea, as well as some more painkillers. Instantly, I felt my stomach grumble. That nagging little eating disorder voice in the back of my mind still wanted me to starve, but I wouldn’t listen to it. Not today, at least.

“Here,” Ana said gently as she set the tray down on the edge of the bed. “This will give you some strength.”

“Thank you, Ana,” I said, setting aside the cool washcloth. I picked up the toast and nibbled at a corner, instantly feeling a bit better just from the taste of the sugary orange marmalade on my tongue.

As I nibbled, Ana walked around the room, fussing with various things. I watched quietly as she stoked the fire, cracked open the windows, shook out the throw blankets.

But as I watched, I couldn’t help but think about the last time I had spoken to her—back when she had fallen ill. I hadn’t seen her since then, and the last words I remembered her speaking were in regards to my diet pills.

The pills that were secretly laced with a contraceptive.

“Ana?” I asked, clearing my throat.

“Yes, Luna?” She turned to face me, and when I patted the spot on the bed next to me, she hesitated in mild shock for a moment before crossing the room and taking a tentative seat. “Is everything okay?”

I nodded, then paused, trying to figure out how to frame the issue without making her feel threatened. Finally, I decided to just be direct and hope for the best.

“I keep thinking about what you said about my diet pills the last time we spoke,” I said. “About how… they’re not what I think they are. Something along those lines.”

Ana blanched visibly and opened her mouth to speak, but I stopped her with a raised hand. “I’m not scolding you, Ana,” I assured her. “But I had those pills taken to the apothecary, and they were found to have abortion contraceptives in them. Do you know anything about that?”

The mousey maid’s eyes widened into saucers. Her lower lip began to quiver and she moved to get up, but I stopped her again, this time by placing my hand on her arm.

“I’m not accusing you of anything. I just want to know how you knew that something was wrong.”

For several long moments, Ana simply stared at me in shock, her mouth opening and closing quite a few times. I watched as her eyes darted over to the door on more than one occasion, clearly trying to decide if she should make a run for it. But I simply waited patiently, never removing my hand from her arm.

Besides, if she tried to run, then I would hold onto her. I needed the truth.

Finally, rather than running, she swallowed hard and lowered her gaze to her hands in her lap.

“A few months back, I…” She paused, clenching her jaw. “I took some of your pills. To lose weight.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You did?” I asked, my eyes wandering my maid. She was beautiful—petite and healthy-looking with a curvaceous body and a cute, sweet face. She looked like something out of a Renaissance painting. “You don’t need to lose weight, Ana.”

“I… I was suffering from a binge eating disorder,” she admitted. “And it was beginning to get out of hand. I knew you took those pills to help yourself purge, so I decided to give them a try.”

“But…?” I urged her, knowing that there was more to the story.

Ana sighed. “But… My husband and I were also trying to conceive our second child. My menstrual cycle became erratic, and I found difficulty conceiving even when I had had no issues with my first child. So I had bloodwork done, and they found trace amounts of the contraceptive in my body.”

My eyes widened. “Is that true?” I whispered, pulling my hand back. “So… So you knew all this time?”

The maid nodded hastily, but then leaned closer, gripping my hand tightly. “I didn’t know whether you were aware of the contraceptives, Luna,” she quickly said. “At first, I thought that maybe you did it intentionally. I knew you and Alpha Noah didn’t have the best relationship…”

Her voice trailed off then, and I let out a derisive snort. “That obvious, huh?”

Ana merely shot me a glance before continuing. “Eventually, I just became too afraid to tell you because it would mean having to admit to stealing from you. And for that, I’m sorry.”

“Ana, you can tell me anything. I wouldn’t have held it against you. We’ve known each other for years.”

“Yes, but…” Ana paused, staring at her hands again. “Luna, if I could be candid now—”

“Absolutely. Speak your mind.”

She drew in a deep breath, almost seeming to steel herself, before meeting my gaze. “You weren’t always very kind to me. Only in this past month has it seemed as though you didn’t… hate me.”

“Hate you?” I breathed, momentarily astounded. But then it hit me—all of the times in my past life when I had been cruel to her. All of the snide remarks, the little jabs at her cleaning abilities or her attitude.

I sighed, feeling my shoulders sag. “You’re right. I was a real bitch.”

“Luna, no—”

“No, it’s alright,” I assured her. “I was. But I’m trying not to be anymore.” I paused, wetting my lips with my tongue as my mind raced. Finally, I patted her hand and offered her a warm smile. “Thank you for being honest, Ana. And I hope you know now that if you’re ever struggling with your body image, you’re beautiful—truly.”

Ana blinked rapidly and bit her lower lip, clearly trying to suppress a smile. “Thank you, Luna.”

“It’s the truth,” I said. “If you ever feel like you’re hating on your body, come to me first. I understand what it’s like to hate what you see in the mirror. I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone.”

Ana nodded and stood. I released my grip on her hand, watching as she walked over to the door. But just as she was about to leave, I called out, “Wait.”

She turned. “Yes, Luna?”

“Call me Hannah from now on,” I said. “Please.”

Ana let out a small breath of what almost looked like relief. “Okay. Goodnight… Hannah.”

Once Ana was gone, I sank down a little further into my bed and furrowed my brow. My mind reeled from what I had learned—and from what I already knew. I kept thinking back to the disappearance of WhiteRabbit, as well as the strange news that Noah had given me.

About how our own family doctor had claimed that I was too ‘frail’ for sex outside of our ovulation window.

Somehow, I wondered if they could be connected. So, too curious to get any rest, I quickly called up the doctor’s office and asked for the information on when our family doctor went away.

“Let’s see,” the receptionist on the other end said, pausing for a moment. “The doctor went on his trip… exactly two weeks ago.”

I furrowed my brow, quickly tapping on my phone to check my last message sent to WhiteRabbit—whose account was now gone, but the messages between us still remained.

I had sent my last message to WhiteRabbit exactly two weeks ago.