Chapter 6 On my Mind

Lazarus’s Pov

The morning air was cold, the kind that bit through your skin but woke you up at the same time. Pale gold light spread across the Crescent Fang pack grounds, turning the frost on the rooftops into glitter. Warriors were already training in the yard, their low grunts mixing with the clang of metal. Wolves ran drills across the open field, their paws thudding softly against the dirt. I watched them for a while, though my mind wasn’t really there.

It should have been. I was Alpha. Every sound, every movement, every change in the air was supposed to be my focus. But it wasn’t.

All I could think about was her.

I didn’t even know her name.

Only her voice. The fear in her eyes. The scent that wrapped around me like smoke and rain. It clung to me, buried deep in my senses. Wild. Cold. Sweet. It had kept me awake all night.

I’d spent hours pacing my room, trying to make sense of it. The bond had hit me like lightning, hot and violent, cracking through every wall I had built over the years. I wasn’t ready for it. I wasn’t ready for her.

When I told her she was mine, I saw the terror on her face. It was the kind of fear that went straight through me, like a knife. I hadn’t meant to scare her. The words had just slipped out, raw and honest. The truth my wolf already knew.

I had lost control.

Now all I could think about was how to find her again without making the same mistake.

Who was she?

Where did she come from?

No pack scent clung to her. No mark. Nothing. Just that faint trace of loneliness that had sunk into her like old blood. A lone wolf living this deep in rogue territory—it didn’t make sense. Wolves didn’t survive long without packs. They were hunted. Claimed. Torn apart.

The thought made something sharp twist in my chest. A part of me ached for her, the other burned with frustration. Why would she choose that kind of life? Why would she stay alone when she could have protection?

When she could have me?

My wolf growled softly inside me at the thought, restless. He wanted to run to her. Find her. Keep her safe. I clenched my fists until my knuckles cracked, forcing him down.

Not again. Not now.

I wouldn’t lose control again.

“Alpha! Alpha!”

The shout cut through my thoughts. I turned sharply.

A young guard was running toward me, his boots hitting the ground hard. His eyes were wide, breath short. The moment he got close, he froze for a second under my stare. It always happened. People never got used to looking me in the eye.

He cleared his throat and straightened. “We’ve received the reports from the other packs, sir. About the rogue attacks.”

I nodded and took the tablet he handed me. The reports were long, full of numbers and names, but my mind was too clouded to care right then. “Get Alec,” I said quietly. “Tell him to set a time for a meeting. Today.”

“Yes, Alpha.” The guard bowed his head quickly and ran off.

I exhaled slowly and started walking again, but not toward the packhouse. My steps turned on their own, carrying me down the narrow dirt path that led to the edge of the woods.

My mother’s cabin sat there, surrounded by wildflowers and herbs she grew herself. The roof sagged a little, and the porch creaked when you stepped on it, but it was home. Warm. Alive.

Laughter drifted from the garden, small and light. The pack pups were there again. They always were. My mother had a soft spot for them, and they loved her just as much. She taught them stories, fed them cookies, and reminded them that not everything in this world had to be about strength or dominance.

The moment they saw me, they stopped what they were doing. A small voice shouted, “Alpha!” and then they all came running.

I smiled before I could stop myself.

They crowded around me, tugging at my clothes, asking questions, laughing. I knelt for a moment, letting one of the smaller pups hug my leg. I ruffled his hair gently. His smile reminded me of the way I used to look at my father before everything fell apart.

Maybe that was why I had a soft spot for them. I didn’t want any of them to grow up the way I did—angry, scared, carrying too much weight before they could even shift.

The front door opened, and there she was—my mother.

Her silver hair was tied in a neat bun, and she wore one of her long dresses with an apron over it. She wiped her hands and smiled when she saw me. “Lazarus,” she said warmly. “You’re up early.”

“I always am,” I replied, standing and kissing her cheek. Her skin smelled like flour and lavender.

“You look tired,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “Have you been sleeping at all?”

“I’m fine, Mother.”

She clicked her tongue. “You’re not eating enough. I made stew. Go and get some before you collapse in front of the children.”

I chuckled softly, stepping back before she could pull me inside. “I’ll be back for dinner, I promise.”

“You always say that,” she muttered, but she smiled anyway. “And when you come, you’ll eat two bowls.”

I laughed, raising a hand in mock surrender. “Fine. Two bowls.”

The children waved as I left. For a brief moment, everything felt light. The kind of peace I never got anywhere else.

By the time I reached the main road, Alec was already walking toward me, a mug of coffee in one hand and the report in the other. His brown hair was a mess, and his grin was far too awake for this early hour.

“Morning, Alpha,” he said. “You look like you haven’t slept a wink.”

I gave a small grunt. “Couldn’t. My mind’s… preoccupied.”

Alec smirked. “Preoccupied with a certain mysterious she-wolf, I presume?”

I didn’t answer right away. My eyes drifted to the treeline. I could almost swear I felt her scent again, faint and distant. Maybe it was just my imagination. Or maybe it was the bond, tugging at me again.

“She’s different,” I said finally, my voice quiet. “When I saw her, she looked terrified. But there’s something about her, Alec. I can’t explain it. I can’t let it go. And I can’t stay away.”

He raised a brow. “You sure she’s not a rogue?”

“No rogue smells like that,” I said. “She’s something else.”

Alec shrugged. “So, we’re keeping the mate discovery a secret now?”

I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck. “For now. I need to take it slow. She’s been through something—I can feel it. If I come on too strong, I’ll lose her before I even have a chance.”

Alec chuckled. “Slow, huh? That’s a new word for you. You’ve terrified half the pack just by breathing.”

I smirked faintly. “Thanks for the reminder.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “Hey, I get it. When I met Alexandria, she was married to another man. Took me months to earn her trust. Sometimes fate doesn’t make it easy on us.”

“Yeah,” I said quietly. “But at least you didn’t start by nearly killing her animals.”

Alec burst out laughing, almost spilling his coffee. “Fair point. Not the best first impression, Alpha.”

“I’ll fix it,” I said, half to him, half to myself. “Somehow.”

We reached the packhouse steps and stopped. The sun was climbing higher, spilling light across the land, but there was something else in the air. A heaviness. The reports about the rogue attacks had been getting worse. Too many deaths. Too close to our borders.

“Set the meeting for noon,” I said. “And double patrols near the western border. I don’t like the pattern.”

Alec nodded and headed off, his usual easy smile gone now.

I stood there for a long moment, the wind moving softly around me. My wolf stirred again, pushing against my control, restless and hungry. He wanted her. Needed her.

I looked toward the forest — the direction where I had last seen her disappear. The trees swayed gently under the morning light.

“Who are you, little wolf?” I whispered.

The forest didn’t answer. But somewhere deep in the distance, a howl rose, soft and low, carried by the wind.

And I felt it. The pull.

The bond.

Still alive.

Still waiting.