Chapter 3

“I wish I could stay here, Toby; I really wish I could. But I need to put myself first; you must understand this too.” I urged on, trying to justify myself, to ease his pain, but those brown eyes said otherwise.

The damage was already done.

“Maddie, I understand.” Toby said with a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “It is alright; I wish you well.” He reached for my hands, squeezing them gently, but they lacked the warmth of before.

I wished he would curse me out; I could bear it rather than the forced joy.

“You were going to tell me something?” I asked, and he blinked slowly.

“Oh.” He opened his mouth in an ‘O’ shape, nodding his head, but he closed it. “There is no need anymore; I have to go now. I think Kane needs me.”

It was a lie, and Toby had never lied to me, no matter how heavy the truth was.

“Yea, sure. You need to answer him.” I nodded my head while blinking my eyes furiously.

He mustn’t see me break.

I watched as he left through the door, quickening his pace as if he didn’t want to spend any more seconds in my presence.

I waited until I heard the door shut, and that was my undoing. I burst into tears, more like I broke down.

I crumbled onto the floor as if the strings that had been holding up were suddenly cut off and the tears pooled in my eyes. They were flowing from my eyes like a continuous stream, but I made no move to clean it.

I was a horrible human, a selfish person that was going to abandon her mate because of a position.

I can’t even imagine what my mother would think.

She was a very traditional woman, and she believed she had raised me as one. She would be shocked to hear that I left my mate for a position.

The tears even came more, and I cried until I had exhausted my tear duct, and my eyes were red and swollen. I dragged myself to bed and laid down, waiting for the time to pass by.

The sun had long gone down, but I made no move to even go for dinner, even though I hadn’t had lunch. I couldn’t hold anything in my stomach, and even if I could, I was too guilty to eat.

Every now and then, my eyes would glance at the wall clock, waiting for his arrival time. And like a programmed machine, Toby walked into the room at eight sharp, mumbled something in greeting, and headed to the shower.

I listened painfully as the water hit the tiles and it stopped, then he walked out of the room, undressing until he was left in his shorts and he hopped unto the bed.

Toby and I had always slept on the same bed, but with plenty of space on the king-sized bed as everyone kept to their side, but it had never been this awkward.

I could feel the great divide between us, and I feared that nothing would be able to bring us back.

“Goodnight.” I was the first to break the silence—a first.

“Night.” He replied in a voice that only tore me apart, and the bed creaked under us as he shifted, trying to find a suitable spot.

He spoke out some commands, and the light turned off, leaving the soft golden glow from the lamp. I looked up at the ceiling that had now mimicked the night sky, and I released a long sigh.

Toby was a fan of constellations, and he had made it his duty to teach me all about them when we were still trying to get to know each other.

Life was simpler then; he did all the chasing and I the running…

No Maddie, I shook my head trying to get rid of the thought. It would do me no good if I kept thinking of the past.

I need to move on.

I continue staring at the constellation, trying to make out what I could find while listening to his heartbeat.

After what seemed like eternity, his heart slowed and soft snoring left his lips, and I couldn’t help it. I reached over to his side, my hands hovering over his face as I stared at him.

He was a handsome man who had only love to give.

I don’t know what got into me, but I reached for my phone and took a picture.

Okay, that was a lie.

One picture couldn’t do justice to this face, so I confused clicking, taking as much as I could.

This was going to last me when I was gone.

It was only when I was satisfied with my work that I laid down on my bed; this time the sleep came swift, and I was in dreamland.

However, when I woke up the next day, it was to an empty bed; no surprise there. I stood up and did my morning routine, pulling a leather jacket over my outfit.

I needed it for an extra boost of confidence and because it kept people away, and just for effect, I slapped a frown on my face and was marching to Kane’s office.

The earlier I get started, the better.