Chapter 36

I was breathing heavily trying to gather my senses. My head pounded as the fog in my mind was slowly clearing as flashes of what I had just done danced in my mind.

My body tingled with a calm sensation that slowly was replaced by unease. I remembered skin on skin, Lorenzo’s body on mine, our hands interlaced, pressure building more and more until finally, sweet release.

Lorenzo and I had made love.

I was distantly aware of the fact that I was currently laid naked on his chest, rising and falling with his breath. I took in my surroundings, trying to remember where in the palace I was and how I’d arrived here. It was a small room that must have been a lounge, cozy and intimate. It was dark outside, the clock read midnight — we had fallen asleep together. My heartbeat began to rise as I realized what had happened.

Why had I agreed to that? Why couldn’t I remember much more than running out of the dining hall? Had Lorenzo done this to corrupt me? We had broken the taboo of flesh, something sacred to those who are mated and Lorenzo and I may have been politically intertwined but we were certainly not mates.

He must have noticed me coming to my senses because Lorenzo began to stir underneath me. His arms, which were wrapped around my waist, began to tighten as he nuzzled slightly into my hair — an action that would have been cute under different circumstances. I tried to shut my eyes and hoped that when I opened them again I would be back in Black Moon with Lorenzo, cuddled together, simply waking up from a bad dream.

“Eleanor?” Lorenzo asked, blinking the sleep from his eyes. My eyes snapped open as I was jerked into the reality that this wasn’t a dream, but a real life nightmare. It took Lorenzo no more than a second to take in his surroundings and remember what had happened because all of the sudden he was pulling his arms away and moving to sit up.

“Lorenzo, what did we do?” I asked hesitantly, dreading but already knowing the answer. The alpha stared at me, his eyes boring into mine with an unreadable expression. “Lorenzo please.”

“Nothing Eleanor, don’t worry about this, everything’s fine,” he said, smoothing his hair back and further extracting his limbs from where they had just been tangled with mine.

“Everything is certainly not fine! We had sex Lorenzo, do you know what this means? What did you do to

me? Why did you do this?” I exclaimed as my anxiety crashed over me like battering waves on an inescapably stormy sea.

Lorenzo seemed completely unphased by my stress, and responded by standing up and fishing around the room for his discarded clothes. I gaped at him as he threw my dress at me, hitting me square in the face.

“You seriously have nothing to say to me right now?” I asked incredulously.

“Please calm down. I asked one of the waiters what happened and he confessed to drugging your food under a bribe from Cate, and I-”

“And you what? You were in on it? Is that why you were sitting next to her at dinner so you could secretly scheme against me? You must still be seeing her,” I cried, covering myself with a pillow, desperately ashamed of how naked I was physically and emotionally.

“Eleanor, that's ridiculous. I found out what she had done and came to help you, that’s all I did was help you nothing more,” Lorenzo said and he finally paused in the middle of buttoning his shirt. For a split second I thought I saw a hurt flash across his eyes but then he blinked it away and resumed his task, straightening to look at me harshly.

“Besides, you were the one begging me to sleep with you. You should’ve seen yourself Eleanor, so helpless without me. I did you a favor, you should be thanking me.”

“Thanking you?! Who the hell do you think you are saying I should thank you for breaking such a sacred bond when you knew I was drugged. I can’t believe I trusted you,” I finally broke out of my trance and began to slide my dress on, careful not to let Lorenzo see me exposed anymore. I slid my straps over my shoulders and dug around for my shoes, keeping my back turned to the alpha.

“Well you certainly trusted me enough just now. You should have heard the way you were pining for me, just begging for me to pleasure you. It was embarrassing honestly, perhaps I should have let the Grand Prince have his way with you,” Lorenzo spat, a hint of jealousy lacing his calm tone.

“You can’t seriously think I wanted the Grand Prince could you? And besides, there is no universe where I would ever beg for you to be intimate with me if I had had my wits about me,” I replied. I tried to keep my voice even but Lorenzo’s words stung and I could feel my throat catching as tears welled in my eyes.

“I don’t know Eleanor, you seemed pretty desperate for his attention even before you were drugged.”

“No I absolutely was not! That dinner was hell, he made me feel violated and disrespected — but to think I had wished to be sat next to you only for you to violate and disrespect me even more!” I had had enough of Lorenzo’s harsh words. Nothing could change what he’d done. What we’d done.

“Think whatever you’d like Eleanor but just know that this meant nothing to me. All I did was help out my luna, which is what a good alpha would do. Good luck getting anyone to believe I did anything wrong,” Lorenzo said coolly. I couldn’t believe what I’d heard and at that moment the dam broke, my tears spilling freely down my cheeks.

I sucked in a breath and steeled myself. Lorenzo had betrayed me again, and at that point I had nobody to blame but myself for trusting him.

“You’re a monster Lorenzo Sinclair,” I said as I walked to the door, only stopping to glance back at Lorenzo briefly.

“Eleanor, wait-”

“You’re a monster, and I hate you.”