Chapter 37

It was the day of the Luna Festival and I couldn’t have been more drained. My body ached from non stop rehearsals, my mind was numb from dealing with Cate’s taunts, and my heart longed for Lorenzo.

Days had gone by since the last time we spoke, our forbidden encounter the other night weighed heavily on me — but not as heavily as the last words I spoke to him. I couldn’t believe I told him I hated him, because as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I truly didn’t hate him.

It had crushed me when I discovered what had happened between us, but only because I knew we had broken a sacred bond. I would have otherwise had no regrets doing that with Lorenzo, and in fact I’d silently hoped we would be able to be intimate in that way someday. But it was all too soon and for all the wrong

reasons.

I hated Cate for what she had done, but there was no use dwelling on it now. I had to recenter myself. I hopped in the shower and let the warm water rinse away my stress and loosen my muscles, preparing me for the biggest night of my life. I could put on a fake smile and cling to Lorenzo in front of the public, but I couldn’t face anyone if I failed as a Luna Dancer.

After drying off and slicking my hair back into a tight updo, I put on the dark makeup look meant to accompany my dress. The dark winged eyeliner and heavily contoured cheekbones complimented my eyes, giving me a sense of dark yet ethereal confidence. At that moment, I realized I looked like my mother.

Knowing her spirit would be with me that night, I took one final look in the mirror and went to put on my costume. A beta servant had dropped it off to me an hour before and I was eager to put it on and really settle into the part. But as I unzipped the garment bag my spirits fell immediately.

The once sleek all-black leotard and tutu had been vandalized. Rhinestones had been ripped out and were now replaced with cheap colorful stickers, there were holes in the skirt, and the tiara had been spray painted pink.

I stumbled backwards, horrified at what I saw. I knew Cate would go to lengths to destroy me but this was a new low. Unsure of what to do, I scrambled around my room for any other black leotard I could find, unaware of my door being pushed open.

“Eleanor? What are you doing?” It was Lorenzo. I hadn’t heard his voice in days and in my state of dismay I almost ran into his arms. But I stopped myself.

“Leave me alone, I’m trying to get ready,” I said through tears trying to ignore the footsteps that were getting closer. I continued to dig around my suitcase until I felt a warm, solid hand on my shoulder pulling me into an embrace.

I emotionally collapsed, letting loose all my frustration. My hands clung weakly to Lorenzo’s suit jacket as tears pooled on his lapels.

“I’m so sorry Eleanor, so unbelievably sorry for what I did and what I said,” Lorenzo said in a hushed tone, running his hands in soothing circles down my spine. “You are so important to me, beyond just being my luna, and I am so ashamed of how I handled things between us.”

Not believing what I was hearing, I pulled away slightly to meet Lorenzo’s eyes. They bore into mine with a genuineness that I hadn’t seen since before our fight.

“You really only did that to help me out?” I asked quietly, not sure what I wanted to hear.

“God no Eleanor, I mean of course I wanted to help you but it was so much more to me than that. Connecting with you in that way really was sacred, and I wished it had been under different circumstances but I treasured it all the same. I suppose knowing you were drugged made me feel distant from you, and I was scared to admit how hurt I was when you questioned me afterwards,” Lorenzo seemed almost shy at the confession. I couldn’t help but soften at the thought of him caring so much.

“You were scared? Lorenzo, why didn’t you tell me?” I wanted to show him I cared too, trying to reach out to him emotionally.

“I didn’t want to overwhelm you further, especially after what had happened. I’m truly so sorry Eleanor, is there any way you can forgive me?” Lorenzo asked in the most sincere and small tone I’d ever heard. He reminded me so much of how he had been five years ago and my heart pounded at the reminder of the boy I’d fallen for.

“Yes, yes of course I forgive you. Just please, don’t shut me out like that and don’t you dare say things like that to me again,” I said trying to be as firm as possible but knowing I was melting in his arms all over again.

“Absolutely, I promise,” he replied.

“And I promise to never say such harsh words to you either. I’m sorry for saying I hate you, that is the opposite of the truth Lorenzo I hope you know,” I admitted shyly and he reached down to cup my cheek, smoothing his thumb over my skin in a silent acceptance. His demeanor changed though when his finger caught on a spot of wetness leftover from my tears.

“You were crying when I came in, what were you looking for in your suitcase?” Lorenzo’s question brought me back to the problem at hand, and my heart sank. I let go of him and walked over to where the garment bag laid on my bed.

“I was looking for another leotard to wear, because this,” I said holding up the destroyed costume, “is what happened to my original outfit. Cate destroyed it.”

Lorenzo’s eyes darkened with rage as he took a step closer to examine the outfit. He took it gently from my hands and inspected all the missing pieces and blemishes, shaking his head angrily.

“I should have expected this from Cate,” he sighed then set the dress back down and walked towards the door. My brow furrowed in confusion. He was leaving? I was beyond hurt.

“Where are you going?” I called, trying to keep my voice steady.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be right back,” Lorenzo said with a smile before disappearing out the door.