Chapter 20

“Julian, calm down.” I urge, stepping out of Adrian’s arms and toward my furious boyfriend.

“Get your hands off of her!” Julian yells, grabbing my arm and pulling me away from his father.

My heart is thundering, and panic is making the blood rush to my head. This was the opposite of what I wanted. Julian was never supposed to find me here. This is a disaster.

“Julian stop, listen to me!” I stand in front of him, tears threatening to break free and my voice cracks as I plead with him.

“What are you doing here?” He demands angrily.

“I’m Grace’s nanny!” I blurt out. Too panicked and frightened to give him the truth gently.

Julian goes still. “What are you talking about?”

I gulp down a deep breath, fighting to steady my racing heart. “I got here and found out that the nanny job was for Grace. I was going to turn down the position, but Grace begged me to stay and I really needed the money for school. I know I shouldn’t have lied to you, but I knew you would be upset if you found out.”

Julian gestures around the room, “What’s all this?”

“I asked Adrian for help with my dress for the ceremony.” My voice cracks again and a tear escapes. I’m telling another lie, but it’s better if Julian thinks this was my idea. “I didn’t want to embarrass you and wear the wrong thing. These heels are huge, and I tripped. He just caught me, that’s all.”

My voice is pleading for him to believe me, but he just glares at his father with a temper, I’ve never witnessed before. “You knew she was my girlfriend, and you still let her be your nanny?” He accuses.

I don’t let Adrian answer. “Julian, please.” I beg him to understand. “Don’t blame your father. He was trying to help. I need this job.”

Julian steps a way from me and runs his hand through his hair, fighting to regain control of his temper. He steps back to me, his gaze intense. “You need to resign, right now.”

I gape at him, disbelieving. I saw this demand coming, but it’s still a blow to hear it.

“I can’t.” I protest.

“Yes, you can.” He insists, his tone still hot with temper. “I’m not allowing my girlfriend to work as a nanny for my father’s family. Resign, get your things, and come home.”

I open my mouth again to explain how badly I need this income when he cuts me off. “Lily, I will take care of you. Don’t worry about the money, I will take care of it.”

I take a deep breath to calm my nerves and quell my frustration. “I can’t do that, Julian. That’s not me, you know that. I’ve always worked and taken care of myself. I can’t be a pet, looking pretty in a cage while someone takes care of me. I’m not letting go of my independence like that.”

Julian’s eyes fall and the regret is evident in his voice as he says, “This is my fault. If I hadn’t used your student loan money, we wouldn’t be here.”

I can’t argue with that. I steal a glance at Adrian who watches us from the other side of the room. He’s letting us talk it out, but it’s clear he’s worried. I never wanted this to happen. I never meant to risk the tenuous relationship between them. I can only pray Julian will realize his father did nothing wrong here.

Julian paces a moment, then comes back and places his hands on my shoulders, forcing me to meet his heated eyes.

“I promise, things are going to change.” He vows and my breath catches. “I am going to find a better job and I will give you security you need. Until then, I will accept you working here for the summer, so long as you walk away as soon as school starts again.”

I nod. That was always the plan anyway. “I will.” I assure him.

“I will agree to this, with one stipulation.” He says, and my stomach tightens in anticipation. The way he says this tells me that I’m not going to like what he says. He points across the room at his father. “You do not trust that man. You do your job, take care of Grace, but that is it. Do not speak to him any more than you have to or show him an ounce of courtesy more than your job requires. I despise that man and you need to reflect that too.”

My eyes go wide with shock as I look between father and son. I’m speechless. I assumed he would ask me to resign, but I never imagined he would demand this.

“I can’t do that.” Is all I can say. I can’t imagine treating Adrian like that, or looking at him with disdain. Not after everything he’s done for me and the kindness he’s shown.

Adrian finally steps forward, hurt in his eyes, though it’s contained under that calm, dignified exterior. “Do you really hate me that much?” He asks.

“Lily gives us a minute.” Julian lets go of me and turns to face his father. I leave the room. Grace’s piano lesson is over and I need to find her, but I can’t stop myself from pausing on the stairs as raised voices follow me down the hall.

One day, I hope one of them finally tells me how this rift cracked their worlds apart.

Later that night, Julian and I are on the living couch watching a movie. He insisted on staying over, and I didn’t have a reason to tell him no.

Adrian had left hours ago, probably heading back to work and Grace had long since been tucked into bed and was fast asleep.

Julian’s arm is around me, tucking me into his chest while we are lounged back on the comfortable couch. I’m only half watching the movie, still distracted and tense from the earlier events. My stomach is in knots and couldn’t bring myself to focus on anything all day.

Julian’s hand starts moving up and down my arm in a lazy caress before it finds my chin and raises my face up to his for a kiss. It’s a familiar kiss, deep and slow, and his tongue finds its way inside to make sweeps through my mouth.

I know what he wants, and I should have known this would happen the moment he decided he was staying the night. There’s something about doing it here, that makes me uneasy though. I pull away, but he doesn’t let me go far. He holds me close and brings his lips to neck to kiss and nip at my throat. The hand, not holding slides under my shirt and makes its way up to cup my breast.

“We shouldn’t do this here.” I protest.

Julian responds by pushing me gently back onto the couch and climbing over me. His kiss turns hard and possessive. “There’s no one here.” He says between kisses. “We’re alone and the staff is all in bed. It’s been too long since I’ve had you last.”

He presses into me and I can feel his desire, which does nothing to relieve my unease. There’s something uncomfortable about being with Julian here in this house.

His lips find my neck again and I’m about to voice my discomfort when a figure appears at the doorway. Shame floods me. My cheeks are on fire, and my heart threatens to pound completely out of my chest.

Adrian’s eyes look deeper and more intense than I’ve ever seen them, but he says nothing as he backs out of the room. Suddenly, the front door slams and the jangle of keys hitting the entryway table jolts Julian from his ministrations and he looks up toward the hallway to see Adrian taking off his suit jacket.

Completely unbothered, he climbs off of me and takes my hand to lead me upstairs. I dutifully follow him, my entire body still heated like an inferno with humiliation. Adrian doesn’t look at either of us as we pass him on the way up the stairs.

Once inside my room, Julian pulls me into his chest and presses another kiss to my mouth. I almost can’t believe he’s trying to continue after that, but it doesn’t seem to bother him a bit.

“Julian, I can’t tonight.” I say and he pulls back to look at me. “I’m just tired and it’s been a long day.”

He looks dejected but he releases his hold on me. “Alright, I understand.”

I don’t think he does, but I’m not about to try to explain.

Instead, I say. “I didn’t eat much for dinner. I’m going to get something. Do you want anything?”

He shakes his head and heads for the bathroom while I leave to go to the kitchen.

The quiet solitude of the kitchen is a welcome reprieve. I breathe deeply, collecting myself and calming my nerves before going to the cupboard for the crackers.

I open the cupboard and look up. Of course, they’re on the top shelf. I strain my arm up, reaching for the box, when I feel Adrian behind me. He reaches over me, grabbing the box of crackers, his other hand bracing against the counter on the other side of me, enveloping me in. My heart had just begun to calm, but now it raced again for an entirely different reason. My breath catches and meets my eyes, not moving from where he stands in front of me.

It’s then that I realize it. His body is inches from mine, he isn’t even touching me, but I’m reacting to him more than I was only minutes ago with Julian.