Chapter 24

My stomach lurches and then plunges down through the floor. What can Julian possibly mean by that comment. He said it like he was teasing, but there was something about that look on his face that said he meant a lot more than that.

After last night, he can’t possibly think that I’m ready to marry him. He whispered an apology in my ear earlier, asking if we were okay. I had told him yes, but it was neither the time nor the place to tell him that my trust in him had taken a hit. It would take more than flowers and an ‘I’m sorry’ to get that back.

I nibble on the rest of my meal, trying my best not to show that I’m uncomfortable. I still care about Julian, but I’m not ready to even think about something like marriage.

He isn’t either. Julian has let me down time and time again. That security that I crave isn’t something he can provide until he matures and grows up.

I glance at Adrian across the table. His shirt sleeves are rolled up and he’s looking at Julian and Grace with such fatherly affection it makes my heart hurt. If only I felt as safe with Julian as I did with Adrian.

Guilt stabs at me for even thinking it. I shouldn’t compare father and son, but it’s hard not to when they both sit at the table.

After dinner, Julian pulls me aside, kisses me, and tells me he has to work early tomorrow, so he can’t stay the night. It’s easier if he sleeps at his apartment.

Relief waves over me at the idea of some space. Yet, I can’t help but feel a little hopeless. I have a gut feeling he is only leaving so we don’t have to talk. The longer we avoid the conversation, the less likely we are to even have it.

Adrian disappears after dinner, and I take Grace up to get ready for bed. She’s still chattering happily and, thankfully, doesn’t bring up the idea of getting married anymore.

It’s only alone in my room that I let the tears fall that have been threatening since last night. I sit on my bed and let them slide down my cheeks while I feel the hopelessness and anger wash over me like a wave.

I don’t trust Julian anymore, and I don’t think I can live my life with the constant disappointment and insecurity. Always having to work harder and take care of the both of us. For once, I want to be taken care of instead.

With that admission, it’s hard not to see Adrian’s face in my mind.

The next day, Erica comes for a visit. I promised Grace a day at the pool and Erica joins us, towel and sunscreen in hand. I’m so happy to see her, I throw my arms around her in a tight hug, grateful when she returns it just as fiercely.

As we make our way down to the pool, we pass Adrian on the veranda. He must have taken the day off.

“We’re going swimming! Come swim with us!” Grace exclaims hopefully.

Adrian smiles fondly at her and she squeals with delight when he agrees. He looks at me and Erica and says, “I’ll take over with her for a while. You two can catch up.”

I don’t miss the way my friend’s eyes bulge when he appears at the pool ten minutes later, shirtless, and ready to join his daughter in the water.

“You get to look at that every day.” She says enviously to me. “How did you get this lucky?”

I shrug and try to look nonchalant, but my friend knows me too well. She knows I’m struggling not to appreciate my boss’ sculpted form as he plays with his daughter.

“It’s an interesting story, actually.” I reply. Then I tell her everything. I tell her who Julian really is and how he’s been estranged from his father and the rest of the family for years. How he hid it from me until I met Adrian at the hotel.

I choose not to tell her my dirty secret about deciding to sleep with Adrian after I thought Julian was cheating on me, but she’s engrossed in every word anyway.

It’s like a weight has been removed from my shoulders sharing this with my friend. I didn’t realize how much it was hurting me not to have someone to talk to about this. When I get to how Julian has been behaving lately and how many times he’s let me down, I’m a little grateful he’s not here. I couldn’t guarantee Erica wouldn’t try to drown him in the pool.

“I’m really grateful for this job lately.” I tell her. “Adrian has been great and super supportive. I’m happy he’s my boss.”

“Maybe you need to trade up.” Erica says wistfully.

“How so?” I ask, already dreading the answer.

“Trade in Julian for Adrian. He’s clearly good for you. He treats you far better than Julian does. You two should be together.”

If I didn’t know my friend better, I would swear she was serious. I roll my eyes at her. “You’re ridiculous. I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” She asks. “You would be so cute together and Julian deserves to be kicked to the curb.”

“That’s not the point. It’s not going to happen.” I tell her firmly and, thankfully, she drops it and starts telling me about the gossip from the hotel I’ve missed out on since I’ve left.

I listen, but I can’t help sneaking glances across the pool. I won’t admit this to Erica, but I’m starting to wish her idea was an option.

Adrian POV

I’m not trying to listen in on Lily’s conversation with her friend, but even my daughter’s laughter and the sounds of the water splashing can’t prevent my wolf hearing their conversation.

It’s hard to hear, and not because I can’t physically pick up what they are saying. It’s hearing Lily’s firm refusal at her friend’s suggestion.

It should make me happy that she is loyal to Julian, but it doesn’t. I was so positive that she felt the same attraction for me as I did for her. The way I sensed her body responding to me told me she did. The attentive way she cared for the burn on my hand said the same.

Maybe I was reading too much into it. All we were, all we could be, were just casual friends. Hearing her refuse to tell Erica there was anything else just confirmed that.

The disappointment doesn’t abate all day. Lily’s friend leaves and she takes Grace to the veranda to work on the math her tutor left. I need to shake this hopeless feeling and clear my head, so I change for a run.

It’s not until I’m in the woods, that I unleash the wolf. I don’t shift forms, but I let the instinct completely take over and work out the pent-up frustration.

“Idiot.” It tells me as my legs pump faster through the trees. “How could you doubt what you know. She cares for you. She wants you. You have seen every sign.”

I try to argue against it, but this is an old conversation with myself. My doubts falter a bit with the reminders. But her voice echoes again and again. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not going to happen.’

The frustration finally spent, I make my way back to the house and up the veranda steps. Lily is still there, working with Grace.

She glances up at me and I couldn’t miss it if I tried. She looks over my shirtless form appreciatively. Her eyes heat and she swallows a little hard. I can hear her heart race and a light blush graces those lovely cheeks.

It’s adorable.

It’s also more than a little encouraging. There is no doubt anymore. She is attracted to me. Now what am I to do about that?

Lily POV

I’m enjoying a cup of tea on the veranda. The night is cool and I could use the quiet before trying to sleep. My mind is focused on the ceremony tomorrow. No one has really told me what to expect and I’m nervous.

“May I join you?” Adrian asks from the door.

“Of course.” I answer and he takes a seat in the chair next to me.

“You look deep in thought. What’s on your mind?” He asks with concern.

“The ceremony tomorrow.” I confess. “I texted Julian earlier, but he hasn’t answered. I’m just nervous. I don’t want to mess it up.”

Adrian smiles reassuringly. “I have no doubt that you will be just fine. I will be there the entire time to help you if you need it.”

My anxiety eases. Just knowing he will be there is the relief I needed. It doesn’t stop the guilty realization that it’s his presence, not Julian’s, that brings me the comfort I’m looking for.