Chapter 41

The next morning, my eyes are sore and my head pounds from a day of crying followed by a restless night.

A part of me can’t believe I did it. I want to snatch up my phone and call Julian and tell him I’m sorry and I didn’t mean what I said. But that would be a lie. Because the other part of me is relieved. I have been let down by him so many times. Last night was the last straw.

After I’m dressed and ready for the day, I’m about to head to Grace’s room when there’s a soft knock at my door.

My heart freezes, afraid it might be Julian, but if it is him, he would have barged in by now. Instead, I answer it to Adrian in the doorway, holding a steaming cup of coffee with a dash of cream. Just how I like it.

He offers me the mug, his brow creased with concern.

“How are you feeling?” He asks.

“I’m okay.” I say. Apprehension fills me. This is it. I know he’ll be kind about it, but I have no doubt that he will tell me that I can’t work here anymore. Apprehension turns to anxiety. I need this job. What am I going to do?

“I’m so sorry.” I blurt out. I’m not above begging. “I shouldn’t have said those things to him. I’ll call him and fix it. Please don’t fire me.”

My words come out in a rush. Adrian’s hand comes to rest on my shoulder, silencing me and commanding my attention.

“You have nothing to be sorry about, and I am not firing you.” He assures me. “You have a home here, so long as you want it.”

My beating heart slows as it takes in his words.

“I’m the one who is sorry.” He continues and now it’s my turn to be confused. “Julian was out of line. I don’t know how he got this way. I thought I taught him better control.”

“He’s an adult.” I say. “He makes his own decisions. I’m sorry you had to make him leave. You were just starting to mend your relationship with him.”

“I have no regrets telling him to leave. Perhaps he’ll cool down and realize what he did. If not, that’s the price we pay for his actions.” Adrian says solemnly. He’s disappointed, I realize, not regretful.

Over the next few days, everything is quiet and finally peaceful. After weeks of chaos and conflicting emotions, I feel lighter than I have felt in ages.

Grace seems to notice. She comes out of her shell more and seems to be absorbing my happier relaxed mood.

Except as the days go by, I get more and more nervous. I expected Julian to reach out by now, and I haven’t heard a word. Neither has Adrian, though neither of us are surprised by that. I’m starting to get concerned about him and I find myself holding my cellphone often and contemplating calling him.

I have no intention of making amends with him. I just want to make sure he’s alright. For all he’s done, I don’t hate him. I just don’t want to be with him anymore.

After day three, I make the decision to call one of his friends.

“Hi Trevor, I just want to ask you if you’ve heard from Julian recently?” I ask.

“Hey Lily! I saw him three days ago. He told me you two broke up. I’m sorry to hear it.” He responds.

“We did and I half expected a few drunk calls or texts. I’m starting to get nervous that he’s not alright.” I say. “I don’t want to call him in case he gets the wrong idea, but have you heard from him at all?”

“Not since then, no.” Trevor says, and my heart sinks a little. “I’ll drop by his apartment tomorrow though.”

“Thanks, Trevor.” I answer.

“Lily, I am sorry, but to be honest, we all saw this coming.” Trevor says, sounding sincere. “We tried to warn him, but you know how he is.”

I hang up with Trevor and try to put Julian from my mind. I’ve been worrying about him for so long, it’s hard not to now. But he has friends and other people around him. I focus my attention on Grace instead.

The next day, I open the front door to a bottle of champaign, a pizza with extra cheese, and an ecstatic Erica yelling “Surprise!”

“What is this for?” I laugh and invite her inside.

“We’re celebrating!” She exclaims and makes her way to the kitchen. “Where are the champaign glasses?”

“What are we celebrating?” I ask.

“Your freedom from an oppressive shackle weighing you down and keeping you from achieving your full potential.” She answers while popping the cork from the bottle.

“Because I broke up with Julian?” I clarify.

“I never liked him. He’s gone. So now, we celebrate!” She exclaims and pours two glasses.

“In his father’s house?” I say mock whispering. Grace has long since gone to bed and Adrian was called back to the office for the evening.

“I forgot about that.” Erica considers and then shrugs. “If he shows up, we just tell him it’s girl’s night.”

We take our pizza and cheap champaign to the veranda to enjoy the night air. I tell her all about the garden party and the breakup that followed. As I fill her in, Erica’s grip tightens around the stem of her glass, and I start to get worried that it’ll snap.

When I finally finish my story, a mischievous gleam lights up her eyes.

“Well, at least one positive thing came of all of this.”

“What’s that?” I ask, already knowing that whatever it is, it’ll be ridiculous.

“You are now free to upgrade Whitmores.” She says as though bestowing on me the greatest of news.

“You are completely ridiculous.” I roll my eyes at her.

“I am not! This is the perfect solution. Adrian is the far better man, and he’s already shown that he cares enough about you to take care of you. What’s the problem?”

I roll my eyes and change the subject. Thankfully, Erica drops it.

We chat happily for hours until Erica announces that she has to head home. She gives me a fierce hug and tells me she’s proud of me. My heart warms and I think about crying again. Though these tears would be bittersweet.

Only after Erica leaves and I’m alone with my thoughts do I allow myself to ponder her words.

Adrian cares for me. He takes care of me. Does he care for me in that way though? The way that would allow us to be together despite my relationship with his son?

I want to let myself consider it. I want to live in that world for just a moment and think that maybe we could be together.

Except reality crashes in far too soon. Even if I didn’t have mine and Julian’s former relationship hanging over us, I couldn’t consider it. Not right now.

I’m going through a breakup. I just ended things with Julian a few nights ago. If I were to pursue a relationship with Adrian, it would be a rebound. He deserves better than that.

I go to bed, banishing the thoughts from my mind. At least, as much as I can. They are persistent, and I find myself struggling with them until sleep finally takes me.