Chapter 185

Violet’s POV

I felt silly.

This whole set up felt silly. And indulgent and sophomoric.

I was the Alpha of an entire territory, trying to take down a kingdom without starting a civil war, about to become a mom, separated from my mate with only theories as to how to get us back together, and yet here I was with blue goo on my face in the middle of a nail painting train.

What was a nail painting train? Before tonight, I hadn’t known the answer to that either. It was Helene who explained the concept, and now I was painting her toenails while she painted Seraphine’s toenails who was painting Lily’s toenails who was painting my toenails.

More of a nail painting circle actually.

“So,” Lily looked up from my toes, “not to be totally awkward, but who knows what?”

Seraphine and Helene looked up at me expectantly.

“I just,” Lily winced as I glared at her, “I keep wanting to bring things up, but I don’t want to spill any secrets.”

I closed my eyes in frustration. It wasn’t ideal that Lily was even bringing up that secrets existed, but in theory this was my trusted circle now. I had even sent all the staff home, except Kincaid.

Though he had politely opted out of girls’ night.

I sighed as I ran through all the secrets I was juggling. “Everyone knows we’re trying to dethrone Owen. If anyone knows any other secrets, then at least one person here doesn’t know it.”

They nodded, clearly all wondering what the others knew, but respectfully not asking.

“I’m sorry,” I said as I applied a second coat of forest green to Helene’s pinky toe. “Some secrets I have to be strategic with revealing, and others I honestly just haven’t gotten to with everything going on.”

“Like being pregnant?” I snapped my head toward Seraphine at her words. She wasn’t supposed to know that.

“Or is there another reason we’re drinking lavender tea instead of martinis?” she pressed. Helene and Lily actively focused on the toenails they were painting.

I pulled my nail polish brush away from Helene’s toes as I sighed in defeat. “Everyone is going to figure out that I’m pregnant when I’m not drinking at the wedding tomorrow, aren’t they?”

“By the Goddess,” Seraphine breathed. “I didn’t actually think you were pregnant. Is it Theo’s?”

Seraphine capped her bottle of nail polish and set it aside, getting more comfortable for this conversation. She was sporting the same blue goo on her face as the rest of us.

Seraphine gasped in realization. “Does Theo know you’re pregnant? Does his new mate know?”

She clasped her hands together. “I’m such a terrible friend; I haven’t even checked on you since the second mate rejection. How are you handling all that?”

Finishing my last few strokes of Helene green toenails, I capped my bottle as well, stretching my newly fire red toenails out in front of me as Lily capped her bottle of nail polish, too.

“Well,” I started, “I guess that’s a helpful summary of what you don’t know. Yes, Theo knows I’m pregnant with his child, but Eva doesn’t know, mostly because she’s not his real mate. Owen cast a spell on us to make her appear to be his mate, but he, Eva, and their myriad of goons don’t know we’re aware it’s a fake bond.”

Seraphine’s jaw dropped. “That’s… what?”

I couldn’t help myself. I started cracking up.

My three friends stared at me in confusion and mild concern as tears started streaming down my face and my laughter swung dangerously close to sobbing. “I’m sorry, it’s just been a lot of secrets to keep track of, and it’s really honestly upsetting to be dealing with, and it was just really validating to see your reaction, which is how I feel every second of every day, but I can’t show it outwardly because I have to pretend that even I don’t know shit.”

As if my little diatribe sprang them into action, they quickly encircled me, rubbing my back, petting my hair, wrapping their hands and arms around whatever part of me wasn’t already being soothed by someone else. I’d always been good at political relations, but I hadn’t had many close friends. Not like this.

It was really nice.

“I can’t imagine there’s anymore,” Seraphine muttered, mostly to herself.

“There is,” Lily answered anyway.

I swung my head in her direction. “Lily!”

She winced, leaning away to stand up. “I’m sorry, you love me, I’ll go find food to shove in my mouth to keep myself from saying anything else I shouldn’t.”

Lily grabbed a bowl of popcorn from the nearby table, bringing it back to her spot right next to me and shoving a handful in her mouth.

“Maybe,” Helene chimed in, “instead of focusing on the information not everyone has, we focus on what we all know. For example, Lucas is a sorry excuse for a werewolf and deserves every misery the world has to offer.”

The rest of us agreed heartily, even if Lily’s accord was garbled by the half-chewed popcorn in her mouth.

“I’ll drink to that!” Seraphine raised her mug and the rest of us followed in a toast. “Even if it’s not alcohol.”

I smiled in amusement. “Seraphine, I can make you a drink—”

“No, no!” she interrupted. “It’s best I save all my drinking for tomorrow anyway. There’s no way I’ll get through that wedding sober!”

“Good for you,” I deadpanned enviously. I hadn’t really processed the fact that I wouldn’t be able to hide behind a buzz while I watched my ex-husband get married.

My three friends gave me sympathetic looks that made me feel worse, so as a distraction, I lifted my mug for another toast. “To Lucas getting exactly what he deserves and to the Goddess for making sure I never got pregnant with him.”

Theodore’s POV

Bennett was going to drink me under the damn table at this hole-in-the-wall bar.

“Fuck you,” I slurred as he handed me yet another shot. “I need some damn water. Or food.”

I took the shot anyway, and Bennett laughed.

I shook my head at him, a serious thought sobering my face – but no other part of me. “I needed this, cousin. Thank you.”

Bennett glanced around to make sure no one had heard me call him “cousin”. I knew he was drinking significantly less than me to keep aware of our surroundings. I let him do it.

But that sobering thought led to another, and I looked up at Bennett with a wobbly chin. “I’m scared.”

Bennett’s smile fell. “I’ll go get you some water.” I had no idea how much time passed before he returned with a tall glass of water and a basket of fries.

“I could lose everything,” I said between bites of fries. “I could lose her.”

I ran a hand down my face in despondent realization. “I could lose them.”

Bennett pulled his stool around to drape his arm over my shoulders, and his kindness cut me out of my spiraling thoughts. This fear consumed me a little more every day. I wanted one night where it didn’t win.

“Sorry,” I said as he clapped me on the back before retracting his arm. “Thank you,” I told him again. Those two words weren’t nearly enough and at the same time, they were everything.