Chapter 21

Violet

The tension in my body slowly ebbed away as I let him hold me. I wanted to relax, but I couldn't let myself forget that he was still an arrogant jerk.

"Thank you," I said, all the same.

"You're welcome," he said softly. "I meant what I said before. You're safe with me."

"If I could believe that, I don't think I'd be here."

He chuckled. "Is that a jab at me as a man or an alpha?"

I snorted, feeling the tension start to drain out of me. "A person. I'd never compare you to Lucas on either front."

"No?"

I scoffed. "Not to inflate your ego, but you and I both know that there's no competition in either avenue."

"... why don't you just formally challenge him?"

"While suffering from the mark?"

"You don't think you could take him?"

I scoffed. "I think it would be foolish to take the chance to leave myself open to such a large handicap."

"... How about challenge by proxy?"

I laughed. "And what? Call you? Your brother would never sanction that."

He grinned at me. "You really... are the brightest alpha of your generation."

My eyes widened. Stunned. It had been... ages since anyone had mentioned that particular epithet. Something warm and uncomfortable tumbled through me. I turned away.

"You seem rather experienced in dealing with bond sickness... How?"

He chuckled. "How else? Experience." He paused, twining a finger around one of my curls. “To be betrayed by someone who’s supposed to love you... It takes a toll on you and those who love you... My mother was forcibly marked.”

My stomach plummeted, and I went still. I shuddered at the thought. How was she still... alive? Forced markings were... horrifying to experience as I'd been told, and often led to death.

"The pain drained her day by day. I used to sit with her, let her lean on me, just like this, hoping that maybe she would live a little longer.” He sighed. "But the Goddess took her home despite my efforts."

My heart clenched in grief. Then, I looked up at him, confused.

“The former king’s luna is still alive.”

She was luna regent alongside his brother. What was he talking about? There's no way that overly proud woman could have been forcibly marked.

His lips curved into a bitter smile, though I couldn’t see it from this angle. “Most people don’t know my mother ever existed. They were fated.”

My eyes widened in shock. Everyone believed Theodore was the true-born son of the former Alpha King, and the royal Luna had never refuted it. Though, why would she admit she wasn't the former alpha king's fated mate?

"Is that why you renounced your claim?"

"Because I'm a bastard?"

"Because of your mother."

His eyes flickered with light. He looked so vulnerable for a moment, but he looked away and said nothing. He tugged me back to lay against his chest. His fingers carded through my hair gently. The rhythmic motion was oddly soothing despite everything.

"You remind me of her," he said. "She was pretty stubborn, too. She wouldn't let herself cry around me... She said that having me near was a happy thing."

My heart clenched with sympathy. "I'm sorry about your mother... This must be harder than I can imagine."

He let out a huff of laughter. "Maybe, but maybe it's worse... There was nothing I could have done to save her, and that's my father's fault. The same isn't true for you. You should--"

"I said no."

"I heard what you said," he said and sighed. "And I understand why you're saying it, but you're saying this now when you're not tearing your hair out and clawing at yourself from the pain." I shuddered, imagining it. My hand twitched. "I'm telling you this while you're still... sane, for lack of a better word. Overwriting the old one is the only way to block out the pain until you can get through a formal severance ceremony. If you don’t, it will kill you.”

Or I'd kill myself...

I didn't need him to say it.

The logical part of me knew all of this already.

"How much time do you... think I have?"

"Without a new bond?"

"Yes."

"It could be weeks... It could be years. You'd have to be seen by a priest to know one way or another."

I scoffed at that. Priests were overworked, scarce, and highly controlled. I didn't have the time to lobby with the alpha king for access. I sighed, shaking my head.

"I think I'll take my chances."

"... do you want me to adhere to that even then?"

I swallowed. "Yes."

He chuckled. "Don't ever change."

I closed my eyes. "I appreciate you trying to tell me, to offer some insight, but I--"

"Don't want a bond from me?"

"From an indiscriminate playboy who hasn't found his fated mate yet."

He chuckled. "Well, at least one of those things can change rapidly. I hear marriage has a way of changing a man for the better."

I didn't know how to respond to that, so I didn't. I had no energy to think too much about it.

If what he was hinting at was right, I needed to be making plans for my inevitable decline and to push my case through the Court as quickly as possible.

The severance ceremony would help, but I'd heard that a broken bond of any sort shortened a wolf's life, and there would always be a lingering pain. I hadn't had a chance to look too deeply into the research, but I didn't need to. The average lifespan for a wolf was about eighty years, a little longer for a breeder. Originally, that meant I had another sixty or so years, hopefully. If I assumed it cut my time in half, that meant I had about two decades left to get my affairs in order.

I'd need to start looking through the members of the Donovan family for a candidate. It had always been a part of my plans to find an heir in the family. I just thought I'd have more time.

"Feeling a little better?"

I nodded.

"Good."

He rose with me in his arms, effortlessly cradling me. I gasped.

"Theodore, what are you doing?"

He chuckled and stepped outside the fitting room. The woman there looked between us and concern came over her face. I must look terrible.

“I’ll buy all the wedding dresses in the store.”

"He will not," I said and looked up at him. “What are you doing?”

“Tomorrow, all of Midnight will know about you. This is the fastest way.”

I shook my head, rolling my eyes.

"You-- That’s the most ridiculous, wasteful, and flashy way imaginable. Not to mention immature as hell. You don’t need to buy out the entire store.”

A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. “Why not?"

I scoffed. "One, I wear one size."

"So, I'll buy all the dresses in your size."

"And what if another bride wears my same size? How inconsiderate of you, especially when you don't even like all the styles."

His eyes twinkled. "So I'll return the ones you don't like."

"What a hassle for the clerks!" I glanced at the woman, who seemed amused. I looked back at him. "Don't be even more of a pain in the ass than you were when you had them bring them all out."

He chuckled, grinning at me.

"What's so funny?" I growled.

"You've got a bit of color back," he said, smiling at me. His gaze felt soft and tender. "I think you like reprimanding me."

I huffed. "I consider it educating you."

He laughed. "Fine. We'll... compromise." He looked at the clerk. "Pack up the box for the one she's wearing and the last two she tried on."

"As you wish, Alpha Nightshade."

"Why do I need three dresses?"

"One for the ceremony, one for the reception, and..." He smirked, dragging his gaze over me. "One I can hopefully rip off you.”

My face heated, and before I could stop myself, I swatted him.

"You better stick to two because that last one’s not happening.”

"We'll see," he said and started walking toward the door.

"What are you-- You are not carrying me--"

He tightened his grip on me as I started to wiggle. “Don’t fight. You’ll only aggravate your injuries. Besides, consider it payment for compromise. Marriage is give and take, I hear."

Theodore carried me out of the bridal shop and down the street, and I raelized that this is what he meant by everyone in Midnight would know about me by tomorrow.

I sighed, burying my face in his chest, avoiding the gazes that followed us. I'd never been so utterly humiliated in my twenty-eight years of life. He had the nerve to whistle as he walked, and while I was annoyed with him, I couldn’t deny the growing sense of safety I felt.