Chapter2

I missed a step. Something tugged at my chest.

I knew that look.

Whenever I'd pulled some prank, he'd give me exactly that look—half amused, half not.

Sooner or later it would drive me nuts. And when I got mad, I'd wait for my moment and bite his chin. Hard.

And then.

He'd haul me back before I could run and kiss me, slow and unhurried.

Behind the lockers, in the corner nobody could see.

I snapped out of it and forced a laugh. "Oh—we broke up ages ago."

The corner of Ethan's mouth curled.

I let out a breath.

Lily held out her hand to show me, glowing with happiness she couldn't hide.

Wow. That was a big diamond.

"Nora, do people get old fast once they're married?"

"Depends on who you marry." I smiled. "Marry the right guy and you'll age backward."

She widened those pretty eyes, so earnest I didn't have the heart to tell her anything real.

"Yours," I said, "is obviously a family man."

She blushed. "You think so?"

"Swear to God," I said breezily. "Our teachers used to say so."

That, she caught right away. "Teachers?"

Ethan turned to look at me.

With both of them staring, I managed a strained smile. "We… went to school together. He was cute, so the teachers loved picking on him to liven up class."

Lily lit up. "No way!"

I nodded.

In middle school, we were enemies. In high school, best friends. In college, he was my boyfriend.

My whole youth wasn't measured in years.

It was measured in Ethan Hale.

I started over.

Six years of Victor had ground me down to nothing. I needed to get my head straight, find a job, take care of myself again.

The next time I went in to give a statement, the round-faced officer, Jenna, actually gasped. "Oh my God, Ms. Bennett—you look like a whole new person! You look amazing!"

I thanked her, glowing.

When I saw Ethan, I meant every word: "Catch that bastard. Make sure he dies in prison. Consider it a public service."

He was smoking by the window. At that, the hand holding the cigarette slowly dropped, and he looked at me with something complicated in his face.

"You haven't changed at all, Nora."

"Selfish. Cold." His voice was ice. "You don't love anyone."

Huh. He knew me pretty well.

I smiled. "Wishing you and Lily a long and happy life."

He said nothing. Under those long lashes, his eyes had gone glacial.

I took two steps closer. "What? Still hung up on me?"

He scoffed and crushed out his cigarette.

Six months flew by.

In that time, Lily came to see me once.

"Nora," she asked, "was there a girl in your class whose name started with F?"

The coffee cup in my hand wobbled. "I don't remember."

She handed me an old notebook. Ethan's journal. I flipped through the dates—middle school through high school, all in his sharp, neat handwriting.

We agreed I'd take it home, look through it, and tell her if anything came to me.

I never got the chance to open it. That same night, Ethan showed up at my door.

He looked like he'd come to collect a debt. "Give it back."

Lily hid behind him, hunched like a frightened little bird.

What could I say? I handed it over.

Without a glance, he tossed it into the puddle off the porch.

I reached for it on instinct.

"So who is F?" Lily whispered.

Not a girl whose name started with F.

February.

The month I was born.