Chapter3

"But you were in love with her for so long—"

She stopped dead. Ethan's look could have cut glass.

A few seconds of silence. Then his voice softened. "I was a dumb kid. Don't worry about it."

He said it to her. He was looking at me. "It was just a kid thing."

Lily threw her arms around him, sniffling. "You scared me. I thought she was some first love you could never get over."

Ethan's mouth twisted, like he'd heard a joke.

I forced a smile and smoothed it over. "Exactly. For you two, it's nothing."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the journal.

Soaking in the mud. Thrown away by its owner.

The tears came. I turned my back and wiped them, babbling:

"Gotta move forward, right… Everybody does dumb stuff when they're young… You two take care of each other…"

I took the journal apart, page by page. Over a thousand pages.

My balcony was tiny, so I had to dry them in batches.

It was a huge, stupid project. I couldn't stop.

After a few days of it, I dreamed about Ethan.

I was twenty-five.

I told him, "Ethan, I'm done playing."

He thought I was kidding. His voice was gentle. "Quit messing around, babe."

I shook my head and smiled.

"You didn't actually think I'd settle for a beat cop, did you? I've wanted to be somebody since I was a kid.

"All these years with you—it was just for fun. You're hot, you've got a great body. Honestly, I'll kind of miss it.

"But I've got a better option now."

"Nora…"

He looked lost. He reached to pull me in.

I shoved him away. "You know Victor Kane? He owns the company I intern at. Money. Power. What've you got that even comes close?"

He just stared at me.

Night fell, and his face slowly blurred.

The scene shifted.

The rehearsal dinner. The night before my wedding.

In the ballroom of the most expensive hotel on Michigan Avenue, Ethan stood in a tailored suit, drink in hand, trading easy laughs with Victor.

Only then did I remember something a classmate had said years ago, with a meaningful look: "The Hales? Please. They own half the buildings on Lake Shore Drive."

Being a cop was just the job he loved.

My chest went cold.

Ethan's eyes swept over me, cool and unbothered. "Mr. Kane, your bride doesn't look very happy."

I pulled myself together, slipped my arm through Victor's, and smiled. "Mr. Hale. So young, and already so accomplished."

Victor had been drinking. I dabbed the corner of his mouth with a napkin, the picture of a devoted wife.

Somewhere between the clinking glasses, Ethan lost.

I saw it clearly. His eyes went red.

Halfway through dinner, he cornered me in the hallway outside the restrooms.

His voice shook. "You regret it. Don't you, Nora? Just say it, and I'll take you back."

He kept saying it. "I mean it. All you have to do is say you're sorry. Just once."

His voice dropped to almost nothing. "…Come back, Nora."

I touched the slight curve of my stomach. "It's too late."

A few feet away, Victor was smiling, smug.

He crooked a finger at me, the way you'd call a dog.

In a blind spot where no one else was looking.

Slowly, I curled my hands into fists.

Thunder cracked.

I jolted awake.

My phone was buzzing nonstop. Lily.

She was crying. "Nora, something happened to Ethan. I'm so scared… Can you come? Please?"

I steadied my voice. "Where are you?"

"…The ICU."

I froze.

My blood ran cold.

I couldn't get an Uber in the rain. I basically ran the whole way to the hospital.

By the time I got there, Ethan was awake.

It wasn't as bad as it sounded. Lily had just never been through anything like it, and she'd panicked.

Even through the glass, I could hear her crying.

Ethan was pale, his eyes calm, a tired little smile on his face.

He spoke to her softly, the way you'd soothe a child.

I stood outside the door for a while, then looked down at my bare feet, red from the cold.

I asked a nurse for a pair of hospital socks and left.

See? People survive without each other.

You have to meet the wrong person before you find the right one.

He'd already found his.

I opened my umbrella and walked out into the rain.

Jenna told me later it was Victor's revenge. He'd taken a kid hostage and demanded safe passage out of Chicago.

Ethan had walked in alone to trade himself for the kid.

Victor Kane played both sides of the law.

On paper, he was a philanthropist with half a block of real estate and a string of nightclubs. Underneath, nobody could say how many loans, threats, and bodies his empire was built on.

I knew him too well.

If he made it out of Chicago, with his connections at every port, nobody would ever catch him.

I thought about it for a long time.

Then I dialed a number I hadn't called in ages.

"Hey, honey. It's me.

"Guess who sold you out to the cops?"