Chapter 4 The Memory Card

I couldn't maintain eye contact with Serena the moment our eyes met.

"Sonia, are you serious?"

"I wish I weren't."

"Andrew is overseas working for this family. He's trying to give you and the children a good life, and you..." She stopped, pressing her lips together. "...why would you do this?"

"I don't know. I don't really know what came over me."

"Did you think about him at all?"

"Yes. That's what makes it worse. I knew I was married. I knew what I was risking. I just didn't stop."

Serena returned to the chair opposite mine. Her anger had not disappeared, but concern had begun to replace it.

"Does Andrew know?"

"No. He called me yesterday after Harry left. He told me he's coming home in three weeks."

"And you said nothing?"

"What was I supposed to say? That I'd betrayed him an hour earlier?"

Serena looked away. "You can't undo what happened. But you can decide what you do next. Don't contact Harry looking for comfort or an explanation. You have to be honest with yourself about what this was, and you must not let one mistake turn into a second relationship."

"I don't want another relationship. I love Andrew."

"Then you need to work out why you allowed yourself to cross that line. I'm not going to pretend what you did was harmless, Sonia. But confessing in a panic won't undo it either. Think about the children, and think carefully before making a decision that changes all their lives."

I looked toward the family photograph on the mantelpiece. "Andrew has always tried to make things easier for us. I know that. I don't want you thinking he has failed me."

"Then don't make him responsible for your decision," Serena replied. "Missing him is one thing. Choosing Harry was another. You need to understand the difference if you're going to prevent this from happening again."

Her words hurt because I could not dismiss them. I had wanted to be understood, but I had not wanted to hear the part that belonged to me.

"I don't know how to look Andrew in the face," I said.

"One day at a time. You can't spend the rest of your life punishing yourself without deciding how you're going to live from here."

I remembered the memory card and went to the bedroom to retrieve it. When I placed it in Serena's hand, she turned it over, examining the tiny plastic sleeve.

"What's this?"

"I found it under the sofa after Harry left. I don't know whether it belongs to him."

"Did you call the repair company?"

"No. I was afraid to."

Serena frowned. "Afraid of what?"

"I don't know. I suppose I didn't want to speak to anyone who might know him."

"Then we should find out what it is. We can't build a disaster out of something we don't understand."

My phone rang before I could answer. An unfamiliar number appeared on the screen. I glanced at Serena, who nodded for me to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Good morning. May I speak with Sonia Elliott?"

"This is Sonia."

"My name is Andrea. I'm calling from the air-conditioning company. One of our technicians, Harry, reported that a compact recording device may be missing after a service visit yesterday. We're contacting customers to check whether it was accidentally left at a property."

I looked at the memory card in Serena's hand.

Andrea continued, "The device is used to document certain inspections. We haven't established where it was last seen. Have you found anything that might belong to our technician?"

My mouth felt dry. "I found a small memory card under the sofa."

"That may be related, although I can't confirm it without checking with Harry. Please keep it safe. I'll record that you've found it, and we'll contact you about collecting it."

"All right."

After the call ended, I told Serena what Andrea had said. She placed the card on the coffee table and studied it again.

"Do you think it recorded what happened?" I asked.

"We don't know where the device was or whether this card belongs to it."

"But if it does..."

"Then we'll deal with the facts when we have them. Don't assume the worst before we know anything."

I wanted to believe her. I tried to remember Harry's movements during the repair, wondering whether he had placed a camera somewhere in the room. I had not noticed one, but I had been watching the film and trying to keep out of his way.

Serena picked up the card and handed it back to me.

"Keep it somewhere safe until the company tells you what to do. And don't call Harry yourself."

I agreed, though the conversation had left me more frightened than before. Until that morning, I had believed my secret existed only in my memory and in the silence between me and the man I had betrayed. Now I feared that the afternoon might have been recorded. And if it had, I would not be the only person who knew what I had done.