Chapter 4

The downpour hammered down mercilessly.

That silver cross necklace lay in the muddy water less than half an inch from my fingertips, but I couldn't see it anymore.

I stared at the spot nearby, watching those gray-white ashes dissolve into nauseating sludge the moment they touched the black mud.

"Oh no!" The servant pushing the supply cart realized he'd knocked someone over and stumbled back in panic.

Valerie poked her head out, covering her nose. "God, what is that? That's disgusting!"

I paid them no attention. I dropped to my hands and knees, scrambling forward, digging my fingers desperately into the cracks between the stones, trying to scrape up the ashes along with the mud.

The rough gravel tore through my palms. Blood mixed with filthy water, yet still couldn't hold onto what was slipping through my fingers.

The more I gathered, the less remained. The rain fell harder.

I knelt there in the muck, watching helplessly as Leo melted away into the gutter's dirty water, bit by bit.

"Leo... Leo..." The words came out barely a whisper.

"Enough!" Cassian's roar cut through the storm.

He strode over and kicked the rusted tin can flying. It crashed against stone with a piercing scrape.

"You're losing your mind over a tin can?!" Cassian stared at my mud-and-blood-stained wretchedness. Something flickered in his eyes—panic, maybe—before deeper fury swallowed it whole.

I stopped moving.

Slowly, I lifted my head, looking up at this man I'd once loved, once feared, and now felt nothing for.

"That was Leo." I looked at him, my voice so quiet the rain nearly drowned it. "Those were Leo's ashes."

Cassian's body went rigid. His pupils dilated sharply, fixed on that patch of gray-black mud. His throat worked, but no sound came.

"Cassian, I'm scared..." Valerie whimpered from the wheelchair, pressing herself against the cart door. "The way she's looking at me... she wants to kill me..."

That snapped Cassian back. He stepped back instinctively, positioning himself in front of the cart door.

Then he made the move that killed whatever remained in my heart.

He drew the gun from his waist. The safety clicked off. The black barrel pointed straight at me.

"Step back." His voice turned to ice. "Apologize to Valerie. You frightened her."

Ashes scattered in muddy water. His gun aimed at me.

I stared at that gun. I'd chosen it for him years ago. "Cassian" was still engraved on the grip.

Just moments ago, in the lightning flash, those letters had gleamed with cold light.

For Valerie's fear, he pressed the gun I'd engraved with his name against my head.

I laughed.

Not bitterly. Not coldly. But with a kind of profound, weightless relief.

Ignoring the barrel, I slowly stood. Mud streamed down my clothes.

I bent down, picked up the broken tin can, and clutched it tight against my chest—the way I used to hold Leo when he slept.

"What are you laughing at?" Cassian's jaw clenched. The hand holding the gun trembled.

He expected me to cry and beg like I had for three years. But I only looked at him the way you'd look at a stranger on the street.

"Cassian." My voice cut clear through the wind and rain, utterly flat. "It's too late."

He froze. "What?"

Without another glance, I turned and walked toward the estate's edge.

At the end of the path stood a cliff with no bottom. Below churned the West Coast's most dangerous waters—the Black Sea.

Massive waves rolled and crashed. Anyone who fell would never leave bones behind.

With each step I took, the silence behind me seemed to crack wider.

"What are you doing?! Get back here!" For the first time, Cassian's voice held complete, unraveling panic.

A dull splash—his gun hitting the mud. Then stumbling, desperate footsteps racing after me.

But I didn't look back.

I walked to the cliff's very edge. Closed my eyes. Felt the icy sea wind on my face.

The black water below roared, yet it was a hundred times cleaner than the world behind me.

"I'm taking you home, Leo."

The next second, clutching the tin can to my chest, I stepped off the edge.