Chapter 102

Olivia

The morning sunlight streamed in through my window, casing my bedroom in a gentle golden glow.

I groggily opened my eyes and squinted as I slowly came to my senses.

The birds were singing outside my window. Beyond their sweet music, I could hear the ocean waves lolling in and out with the tide. But that wasn’t all that I heard; I also heard the sound of gentle, deep breathing beside me.

Finally, I became aware of Nathan’s body curled up against mine.

I slowly turned my head to meet the image of Nathan’s sleeping face beside me. Panic instantly surged through me as the memory of the previous night crashed into me like waves against the rocks.

“No…” I muttered under my breath. I untangled myself from the mess of limbs and sheets as delicately as possible. My heart hammered against my chest as I padded over to my closet and withdrew my robe to cover my naked body.

My actions, the absence of my warmth beside him, made Nathan stir almost immediately. I watched in horror as his eyes fluttered open, their sleepy blue-green hue meeting my panicked gaze.

His brow furrowed at the sight of me as I stood awkwardly alongside the bed.

“What's wrong, Liv?” he asked, propping himself up on his elbows. The sheets didn’t even come close to covering his bare torso. I felt my cheeks flush red and quickly averted my eyes.

“You need to leave, Nathan,” I murmured. “Last night…”

Nathan’s eyes widened slightly, but not for long; the look of surprise was quickly replaced by a mischievous smile that twitched at the corners of his lips.

“Last night,” he whispered, reaching for my hand. “Last night was…”

I suddenly pulled my hand away before he could touch me. I couldn’t let him lure me in again with his touch like he had last night.

“A mistake,” I said. “Last night was a mistake. We never should have done what we did. And we can never do it again.”

Nathan sat in silence for a moment, processing my words. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't bring myself to meet his gaze. My heart wrenched at the thought of his confusion and his pain. But it was for the best, right?

Finally, he sighed. “So… That's it? Just a one-night thing?”

“We had an agreement, didn’t we?” I asked. “We promised that it would just be for one night. We… We never should have done it, but we did, and now we can never do it again. It’s for the sake of our friendship. If you value what we have, you won’t push it.”

Nathan’s face fell even further, and he sat up fully. “What if I don’t want it to be a one-time thing?” he murmured. “What if I want more of you, all to myself? What if I want us to be more than friends?”

I swallowed hard, finally forcing myself to look at him. “You don't want to be with me, Nathan,” I said, my voice trembling slightly. “I'm not exactly girlfriend material. I'm stubborn, I have a temper, I… I have a lot of baggage. Trust me. You don’t want me.”

I was listing my faults as though they were as ordinary as grocery items, yet each one stung. Was I really this flawed? Did I have any redeeming qualities?

“That’s not true, Liv,” Nathan said, standing. I averted my eyes as he walked across the room, fully naked, in search of his boxers. Even as he tugged them on, I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.

“It is true,” I replied. “You don’t want me, Nathan. You deserve an Alpha, someone who’s prettier than me, someone who doesn’t fight with you all of the time.”

Nathan was silent again.

Then, he shrugged. A look of understanding seemed to come across his face.

“Maybe you're right. Maybe you shouldn't want to be with me either,” he said, his voice unsteady. “I'm not exactly a catch. I'm moody, I can be selfish, I… I can't commit.”

His words hung heavy in the air between us, a mirror image of the flaws I had just laid bare. We were both damaged, both flawed.

Yet, somehow, that made the bond between us feel even more real, more raw. Half of me wanted to run to him and hold him close and never let him go, and the other half of me wanted to push him away.

“Okay,” I said, taking a step towards the door. “I guess that's it, then. Last night was fun, don’t get me wrong… It was a good release for us. But we can’t do it again.”

Nathan nodded. “You’re right. Now that we got it out of the way… I guess we could go back to the way things were before.”

“Things will be even better now that we got our frustrations out,” I said, nodding, trying to justify what we had done and why I wasn’t going to let it happen again. “Let’s go back to our old friendship. I don’t want this to ruin anything.”

Without another word, Nathan nodded once—just once—and quietly slipped out of the room. I watched him as he disappeared down the hall and into his own room before I closed my door. There were tears in my eyes that I hadn’t noticed before.

Once I was alone once again, I leaned against the door, my heart pounding against my chest. I let my head fall back against the hard wood, my eyes closing as I took in deep, shuddering breaths.

Despite everything I had just said, despite the harsh reality that had set in, my thoughts kept drifting back to the previous night.

Nathan's touch, his soft kisses, the look in his eyes when he whispered my name… He was so tender and passionate with me in a way that I had never experienced before with my ex. It was almost too much.

How could I ever look him in the eye again after seeing him laid bare in front of me, his fingers trailing along my skin?

Just then, as I pictured Nathan’s warm gaze and gentle touch, a smile tugged at the corners of my lips. It was an involuntary reaction that surprised even me. I couldn't deny it any longer.

No matter how hard I tried to rationalize it, last night had meant something, at least to me. It was more than just a moment of weakness, more than just a one-time thing.

Nathan and I… We were complicated. I was complicated. But maybe that was okay. After all, life was messy and so was love. And sometimes, you had to embrace the messiness, the chaos, to find the beauty hidden within it.

That was my thought as I slid to the floor, my back still against the door. Despite the confusion, the awkwardness, the heartache… I couldn't help but remember our night together with a sense of longing, a sense of something that felt dangerously close to hope.

And that scent… I couldn’t deny that it was coming from Nathan now. I still felt my wolf’s presence, although faint, inside of me after our night of passion. It was as though being together, being enveloped in Nathan’s sweet scent, made my wolf just a little stronger.

"Just once…" I whispered, the memory of our promise echoing in my mind as the smile slowly faded from my lips.

Would it really just be once, or would we eventually fall victim to our animal desires once more?