Chapter 364

Olivia

“Lingerie? Angela, that’s the last thing on my mind right now,” I said, a laugh bursting forth from my mouth that sounded foreign even to me.

Angela’s tone softened. “Liv, when was the last time you felt sexy?” she asked.

I looked away, focusing on the rip in the knee of my jeans. “I felt sexy at Edward’s welcome banquet.”

“Yeah, but that was for an event,” Angela insisted. “I mean, when did you last feel sexy on your own? In the bedroom?”

I paused. Nathan and I had a good sex life, but maybe she was right; I didn’t really feel sexy. It was hard to focus on myself lately with everything going on, and the twins had been a handful now that they were getting a little older.

“Liv,” Angela continued, sensing my trepidation, “it’s just an hour or two. Clint’s got the twins. You deserve this.”

My defenses were crumbling, eroded by her words and the earnest look in her eyes. “I guess... an hour or two wouldn’t hurt.”

“That’s the spirit!” Angela beamed, grabbing my hand and pulling me to my feet. “Come on, let’s go before you change your mind.”

The drive to the mall was filled with Angela’s chatter, her enthusiasm infectious. She talked about new stores that had opened, the latest fashion trends that I hadn’t even heard of, and before I knew it, we were parked and stepping into the bright lights of the mall.

Angela led the way, her steps purposeful, her energy almost tangible. I trailed behind her, the nervous flutter in my stomach growing with each step.

We stopped at a boutique that Angela swore by, the window display elegant and enticing. “They have the best range of sizes and styles,” she said, ushering me through the door.

The store was a myriad of colors and fabrics, the air scented with perfumes. Angela led me to the dresses section and her hand didn’t leave mine the whole time.

“This would look gorgeous on you,” she said as she pressed a dark blue dress into my hands. The fabric was silky and smooth. It was a fancy dress, something that I would only wear for a special occasion.

“It’s a little fancy, don’t you think?” I asked, holding it up to myself in the mirror.

“Just try it on, Liv.”

Before I could protest, she was ushering me into a dressing room and practically throwing clothes over the door. The first outfit was just a cozy sweater and a pair of jeans, but when I stepped out to show Angela, her gasp told me everything I needed to know.

“Olivia, you look... amazing,” she said.

I turned to the mirror, and for a moment, I didn’t recognize the woman staring back at me. She looked... happy, confident. Pretty.

“I guess I do look pretty,” I admitted, a smile finding its way onto my lips.

Angela clapped her hands, delighted. “Good. Let’s find more!”

The afternoon passed in a blur of fabrics and laughter. Angela’s enthusiasm was infectious, and I found myself getting caught up in the fun of trying on clothes, of experimenting with styles I would have never thought to try before.

We took turns making each other try on ridiculous outfits, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like a normal girl on a shopping trip with her friend. I didn’t realize how much I needed this.

A soft, emerald green blouse made my eyes stand out, a skirt hugged my curves in just the right way, and a pair of shoes lifted my posture and my spirits.

But as Angela and I wandered through the mall, our arms laden with bags, the joy of shopping was overshadowed by a persistent guilt that I couldn’t deny. The weight of the bags in my arms were a constant reminder that I was not spending my own money.

Angela was saying something about a dress when I cut in, the words spilling out of me. “I sometimes feel guilty, you know, for spending money on things like this,” I said, gesturing to our bags, “when I’m not the one earning it.”

Angela stopped mid-stride, her expression one of surprise. “Olivia, you’re a full-time mom. That’s a job too, you know. And besides, Nathan’s your fiancee. What’s his is yours and vice versa, right?”

I shrugged, knowing she had a point but still feeling the weight of my own financial dependence. “It’s just... I’ve always valued self-sufficiency. I wish I could contribute financially to our household.”

We settled on a bench near a fountain, the sound of the water filling the silence as I collected my thoughts. “I don’t want to rely on an allowance or dip into my savings. I want to earn, to have something that’s just mine. I miss working, feeling like I’m part of something beyond the home.”

Angela listened, nodding as she took in my confession. “That makes total sense, Olivia. But you contribute in so many ways that money can’t even measure. Still, I get wanting to have your own thing. Have you ever thought about what you’d like to do?”

I sighed, a mixture of resignation and wistful thinking in my breath. “I worked in the restaurant industry before I came back to the pack, and… I guess I’ve always dreamed of opening a little bakery,” I said softly, almost embarrassed to admit it. “I know it’s silly.”

Angela’s face softened. “Silly? No, Liv, that’s a beautiful dream. Why don’t you ever pursue it—or even talk about it?”

I shook my head. “It just feels like something that would never happen. You know, with the twins, and another on the way…”

Angela leaned forward, her elbows on her knees. “But if it’s something you’re passionate about, shouldn’t you at least explore it? You could start small. Maybe take a course or two, or even just spend some time baking more at home.”

Her words stirred something in me. “I do love baking,” I mused, the corners of my mouth lifting slightly. “I used to bake all of the time before the twins were born.”

“See?” Angela’s voice was encouraging. “You have the talent and the passion. That’s more than most.”

I considered her words, feeling the old excitement for my passions rekindling just a little bit. “It’s a nice thought,” I conceded, “but starting a bakery is a big leap. And with Nathan’s responsibilities, I can’t just…”

“Wait a minute,” she said. “Who said anything about opening a bakery right off the bat? Why don’t you just start small? Maybe look for a part-time job?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know, Angela. With everything else going on, is it even feasible to think about a job?”

“Why not?” Angela countered. “Clint loves babysitting the twins. Even just a couple days a week, you could find something to do. Something that’s about Olivia, not just ‘mom.’”

The idea of reclaiming a piece of my identity was enticing. We stood and began to stroll again, our shoulders brushing as we walked. “I suppose I could spare a few hours,” I admitted, a smile tugging at my lips. “But what would I even do? Where would I start?”

“The bakery in town is looking for a part-time baking assistant,” Angela suddenly said, her eyes widening as though she just remembered. “It’s nothing fancy, but it could be the start you’re looking for.”

I stopped in my tracks, my heart skipping a beat. “They are?”

Angela nodded. “Yes. I think you should apply!”

My eyes widened slightly. Me? Applying for a job? The thought seemed almost ludicrous, but…