Chapter 50

Nathan

I sat at home, the weight of exhaustion and frustration settling over me like a heavy blanket.

I couldn’t get the image of Olivia in her golfing outfit out of my head. Her khaki pants hugged her thick thighs, emphasizing her wide hips and round ass. I hated to admit it, but it made me aroused.

It was frustrating after I had just spent the last two weeks trying harder than ever to keep a solid distance between us. Of course it hurt to see her sad face when I kept pushing her away, and eventually I would warm up to her again, but right now I just needed some space.

I needed time to think about everything.

The way that we fell asleep together on the couch that one day stayed fresh in my mind. I liked the feeling of her slender body pressed up against me while we dozed together; I liked it too much, in fact.

Olivia arrived home shortly after me, and her discontent was palpable as she put away the golf supplies.

The sound of her huffing and the way she kicked off her shoes made it clear that something was bothering her.

Sighing, I slowly stood from the couch and walked into the hallway to see her angrily shoving the golf clubs back into the closet.

Sensing her discontent, I finally mustered the courage to ask, “Olivia, what's wrong?”

She let out a sigh, her voice laced with disappointment.

“I'm just trying to be nice, Nathan,” she finally said after a bit of an uncomfortable silence between us. “But it feels like you keep pushing me away, being rude and distant. I don't understand what I've done wrong.”

She sounded hurt and angry. Her words struck a chord within me, stirring a mix of guilt and defensiveness. Her eyes were filled with pain and sadness, which I knew that I had caused lately.

I didn't want to hurt her, but I also couldn't shake the feeling that our relationship needed to be re-evaluated.

“Olivia, it's not like we're in a real relationship,” I finally said. “You don't need to go out of your way to do so much for me. I appreciate it, but it’s just not necessary.”

She scoffed, her frustration evident. “Not a real relationship? Then what was all that anger about the doctor's appointment? You acted like it was a big deal, like we should be acting like we’re in a relationship.”

I paused, her words sinking in. She had a point. I had overreacted during the doctor's appointment, and it had created confusion between us. But in my mind, it was different.

“That was... different. It was important for me to protect our cover, to maintain the facade of our relationship. We need to act a certain way in public, but not in private.”

Olivia shot me a confused look. “If we need to act a certain way in public, then why push me away right in front of the Alphas?” she asked. “You could have at least pretended to go golfing with me, then talked to me about it in private.”

I sighed. She wasn’t wrong.

“Today was a different story with the golf thing,” I said quietly. “I really am just tired. We can go another time. I appreciate you trying to keep up the act in public, but when we’re at home you really don’t need to be packing me lunch, doing my laundry, or making dinner for me.

Olivia's face flushed with embarrassment as she spoke, her words laced with frustration. “I’m not just doing these things to act like a couple. I’m doing them because you seem depressed, and I want to help you out and make you happy.”

I didn’t know what to say. I supposed that she was right to a certain extent, but… “I don’t want that, though,” I whispered. “I’m fine. I’m not depressed.”

Olivia scoffed again and folded her arms across her chest. “Alright, then,” she said haughtily. “Go ahead and lie to me and try to convince me that you’re not going through something. But on another note, people will start questioning if we never act like a couple, Nathan.”

I nodded. “You’re right. People will question us, and so we’ll have to do more in public every so often. But I’ll tell you when those things need to happen.”

Olivia looked taken aback. “Why is it always up to you? Why can’t I have a say? Or am I just a tool for you to use so you can get on the Alpha Council, and therefore my feelings don’t matter?”

Her words stung, and I struggled to find the right response. I never wanted to hurt her, but I also didn't want to lead her on. "Look, Olivia, I appreciate your care and concern. And I don’t see you like a ‘tool’. But lately it’s been feeling... clingy. We're supposed to be friends, right?"

Her expression turned from frustration to anger as she retorted, “Clingy? I care about you, Nathan. I worry about you because I value our friendship. And what about all the messes you leave around the house? The junk food you keep eating? It's not healthy!”

Her words hit me like a bolt of electricity.

I hadn't realized the extent of my negligence, both in maintaining our living space and taking care of myself. I frowned, my voice filled with a mix of surprise and gratitude.

“I didn't realize it bothered you that much. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to let things get out of hand.”

Olivia's frustration softened, replaced by concern. “Nathan, just because Layla cheated on you doesn't mean you should let yourself go. You deserve to take care of yourself, to be healthy.”

I looked at her with wide eyes, her words sinking in. She had things wrong. I had hardly even thought about Layla lately. In fact, it was quite the opposite.

“Layla has nothing to do with this,” I said, holding in the part about Olivia’s body being the one thing that was on my mind 24/7. “The Council has been dealing with pack land matters. I’m busy. That’s it.”

Olivia didn’t seem to believe me, although I was telling the truth. I was just… Omitting some things.

Finally, I sighed. “Olivia, I…” I chewed my lip for a moment. “I'm touched by your concern. You're right: I shouldn't let myself fall apart. I promise I'll clean up my messes and take better care of myself. But I need some space.”

When I finished speaking, there was a silence between us. Olivia’s eyes began to water, and at that moment, I felt my chest cave in. I couldn’t be here any longer; I needed to think. I couldn’t bear to look at her like that.

Before Olivia could respond, I abruptly turned around and stormed off, the weight of my emotions overwhelming me. I needed time alone to process everything she had said.

I retreated to my room, the silence of the space allowing my thoughts to settle.

In my solitude, I couldn't help but reflect on Olivia's words and actions. She had been there for me, caring and supportive, even when I pushed her away. It was clear that her intentions were genuine, and I needed to reevaluate my own stance on our relationship.

But at the same time, it was so hard to get anything done when I couldn’t shake the uncomfortable feelings that I was starting to have for my best friend.