Chapter 500

Olivia

The morning air was cold and crisp as Nathan loaded his suitcase into the car. I stood beside him, still in my pajamas, shivering in the chilly wind. A slight mist had settled over the landscape, which only added to the cold.

“You’re sure you have everything?” I asked, trying to restrain my teeth from chattering as I spoke.

Nathan nodded and turned to face me. His cheeks were rosy from the cold, but the wind didn’t seem to bother him in the slightest. He had always been like that; always more of a wintery kind of person than a summery one. I was the opposite.

“You should get back inside,” he said softly. “It’s cold out here.”

I managed a small smile. “I don’t mind being cold for a few minutes.”

We just stood there awkwardly for a couple of seconds, unsure what to say, before Nathan opened his arms and pulled me in for a warm hug. I stiffened for a moment before letting myself relax somewhat against his cool peacoat.

During the moments that I leaned into him, a sense of calmness mingled with the worry that had been swirling around in my gut. Nathan was leaving for his weeklong summit with Dan today, and I couldn’t seem to settle on an emotion.

On one hand, a small part of me was strangely relieved that the awkwardness between the two of us would be alleviated for a few days.

But on the other hand, I still didn’t want him to go. I didn’t say that, though.

When we finally pulled apart, Nathan stiffly dipped his head down to press a warm kiss against my lips. Another small comfort, but it was nothing compared to the usual warm, sweet, lingering kisses that we usually had.

Our lips parted after a quick peck, and I quickly looked away, averting my gaze.

“So, uh… see you in a week,” I said.

Nathan nodded and released his grip on me. “See you in a week.”

Without another word, without another touch, and without another kiss, Nathan climbed into his car and began to pull out of the driveway. I watched him go, waving sadly.

When he was finally gone, I shivered in the cold morning wind, turned on my heel, and ran back into the house without a second glance.

…

“We’ve just been so distant lately.”

As I wiped down the kitchen counter, Angela sat across from me, her hands wrapped around a mug of coffee. She took a slow sip, listening intently as I recounted the strange energy between me and Nathan ever since our baby had been stillborn.

“It’s not uncommon,” she said softly, “for couples to feel distant after losing a child. I hope you know that.”

I sighed and set down the rag I had been using to clean. “And it’s also not uncommon for couples to break up after losing a child.”

Angela’s eyes widened. “Olivia, you’re not seriously—”

“No,” I interrupted, shaking my head abruptly. “I’m not planning on breaking up or anything. But… I don’t know, Angela. It just feels like we’re two ships passing in the night lately.”

My friend looked at me with a sad expression on her face for a few long moments before she set her coffee cup down and sighed. “Liv, I think maybe it would help for you to get back to work,” she said. “Maybe a little routine—outside of the house, at least—would be good for you.”

I chewed my lip and glanced over at the playpen, where Aurora and Elliot were napping on their mats on the floor. Angela followed my gaze, then reached across the counter to give my hand a squeeze.

“I know what you’re thinking,” she said. “But the twins are little angels. You know that Clint and I love to babysit whenever we can, plus Nathan can always take them to work as well.”

At the mention of Nathan taking the twins to work, I felt myself cringe. “I don’t want them anywhere where Dan might have easier access to them,” I hissed. Even his name felt like venom on my tongue.

“Fair.” Angela stood, grabbing her coat off the back of the chair and checking her watch. She still wore her nurse’s scrubs, and was only visiting for her lunch break. “But Liv… You can’t stay cooped up in here forever. At least consider it, okay?”

I bit the inside of my cheek and nodded slowly. “Alright. I’ll think about it,” I murmured.

Angela smiled and came around the counter to pull me in for a tight hug. I let myself relax into her. At least, despite everything, I always had my best friend.

“That’s the spirit,” she said.

…

I stepped into the PR office for the first time in weeks, completely unannounced. The others looked up with shocked expressions on their faces.

“Olivia?” Benjamin asked, slowly rising from his chair. “What are you doing here?”

My cheeks flushed a slight shade of red at the sudden attention. “I, uh… Wanted to get back to work,” I said softly, trying to keep my voice steady. “I was thinking, with spring coming up, we could start brainstorming another event…”

As I spoke, the rest of the team blinked at me in shock and confusion. I could see it in their faces; the way that their eyes seemed to sadden just upon seeing me. I could see the way their eyes flickered down to my flat stomach.

They pitied me.

Vanessa slowly rose from her chair then, her eyes repeatedly flicking down to my belly. “Olivia,” she said quietly, “we’re all so… so sorry about…”

Her voice trailed off. I swallowed and instinctively placed my hand over my belly, only to remember that it was flat once more. I dropped my hand back down to my side, my heart beginning to pound in my chest.

“It’s, um… It’s…” I began, but my own voice trailed off as well. Here, beneath the discerning gazes of my coworkers, I felt like I was on display.

And then my body began to move on its own. Benjamin said something else, but it sounded muffled to my ears. The room almost seemed to begin to spin, and then before I could stop myself, I turned on my heel and rushed out.

“Olivia!” they called after me. “Wait! Olivia!”

But I didn’t wait. I kept moving until I was pushing through the front doors of the Council building, until I was crossing the parking lot, until I was practically running down the street and back toward the villa.

I didn’t stop the entire time. Not until I burst back into the villa to find Clint sitting in the armchair in the living room beside the crackling fire.

“Olivia?” he asked as I rushed in. “Is everything—”

But, much like before, I hardly heard him. All I saw were my twins, gripping the bars of their playpen and reaching their tiny hands out to me. All I saw were their round little faces grinning and giggling up at me, just glad to have their mother home.

And as I collapsed to my knees in front of the playpen and scooped them both up into my arms at once, it felt as if the rest of the world faded away.