Chapter 90

Nathan

I hated to admit it — I would never admit it, honestly — but hearing that Olivia had intimate moments with herself, moments in which she… pleasured herself, made me oddly jealous.

To a lot of men, hearing something like that would likely just make them aroused. But in a strange, inexplicable way, it made me angry. It made me angry because I wanted to be the one to make her feel good, and I could never be that person.

But at the same time, something about hearing that meager confession slip from her lips made my wolf awaken within me. I wanted to hear more. I wanted more details, more visuals… If I could never have her in the flesh, then I at least wanted her in my mind.

My wolf was riled up, and my weak grasp on control rapidly slipped away.

“So,” I said, breaking the awkward silence between us. “Let’s talk about fantasies, then. Since we’re on the subject, you know.”

Olivia, whose face had just been buried embarrassingly in her hands, suddenly jerked her head up. Her cheeks were now that deep shade of pink that I liked so much.

“Nathan!” she chided, her voice sounding strained, “stop being so intrusive!”

I couldn’t help but smirk. “Come on, Liv,” I urged, taking a step toward her. “We’ve been friends for years. What’s the harm in talking about stuff like this? It could be fun.”

Olivia shook her head and took a step backwards, increasing the gap between us once more. “No way, Nathan Ford,” she replied, folding her arms across her chest in a way that pushed her breasts together and practically caused me to foam at the mouth. “I am not having this discussion with you.”

I didn’t respond, as I was too enthralled by her breasts.

Olivia, noticing this, made a sound of disgust and covered herself. “Nathan!”

By this point, my wolf’s urges were too powerful. I lost control completely, losing my grasp on the logical, human part of my brain. Without thinking, as though I was in a daze, I closed the distance between us before she even had time to react and pushed her up against the wall with my body.

“Tell me,” I murmured, my breath spraying down across her neck, “do you think about me at night, when you’re all alone in bed?”

“Nathan!”

Olivia’s shrill voice brought me back to reality, and I suddenly became conscious of the frightened, disgusted look in her eyes. During that brief moment of weakness, she was able to shove me back roughly and push me off of her, sending me stumbling backwards into the dining room table.

“Pig!” she shouted. Without another word, she stormed off and bolted up the stairs.

“Olivia, wait!” I called after her, but it was too late. She was already gone; I could hear her door slam and the deadbolt slide shut from where I stood at the bottom of the steps.

For a few minutes I stood there, gripping my hair tightly with both hands as I wondered what I had done. Sighing, I sank down onto the bottom step and smacked myself harshly up against the side of my head.

“Idiot,” I whispered, cursing myself. “I am a pig.”

I had crossed a line; I knew that much. My wolf, sensing my guilt and the trouble that he had caused, stayed quiet. But it didn’t matter anyway, because the damage was already done.

That night, I stayed awake for hours. I tossed and turned in my bed, the guilt of my brutish behavior eating away at me.

If I had only kept my composure, none of this would have happened; but there was just something about Olivia that made me lose control sometimes, made me turn into an animal.

I couldn’t deny it. Every so often, I would get a glimpse of her wolf; a flicker that it was still in there.

And whenever that happened, especially when she was upset with me or feeling particularly fiery, I got a whiff of that tantalizing scent that drove me utterly mad.

Even just thinking about it made me inexplicably aroused.

The guilt only became even worse when I gave into my animal urges again that night and fantasized about her from the night that we wrestled on the living room floor…

…

The next morning, I woke up with a new resolve in my chest as I tried to swallow the guilt that I felt for being such a pig. I woke up early, before I heard Olivia’s door open, and went outside to the garden with a pair of scissors.

I clipped an array of early spring flowers, fully prepared for a solid scolding from Clint, and then walked down on the hill toward the beach a little for some wildflowers and wisps of tall golden grass to add to the bouquet.

When I was satisfied with my work, I marched back up to the house and poured my heart and soul into a beautiful breakfast array, complete with Olivia’s favorite: chocolate chip pancakes, bacon, fresh fruit, and steaming cups of coffee.

I had it all laid out on the dining room table with the bouquet of flowers in the center just as I heard her come out of her room.

A few moments later, she descended the stairs to see my awkward smile and the surprise that I had laid out for her.

“What’s all this?” she asked, folding her arms across her chest as she stopped halfway down the stairs. She was clearly still mad at me.

“It’s an apology,” I explained. “I’m really, truly sorry, Olivia. You’re right; I was a pig yesterday.”

Olivia narrowed her eyes at me and walked down the last few steps. “I’m glad you realized that,” she murmured, scanning the table. As she did, her face softened a bit, and she pointed at the flowers. “You picked those?”

I nodded. “Clint’s gonna have a fit, but I thought that our table could use some color,” I said, offering an apologetic smile.

A silence hung in the air between us, broken only by my next words.

“Olivia, I really am—”

“Once…” She interrupted, her gaze still fixed on the flowers as her cheeks slowly turned that delicate shade of rosy pink. “Maybe once I did fantasize about you.”

I felt my heart pound, my eyes going wide. My heart pounded even harder when her big, hazel eyes lifted to meet my gaze, and a playful smile played on her full lips.

“What about you?” she asked, her voice hardly more than a whisper.

I hesitated for a moment. “I…”

Of course I had fantasized about her; I had only just committed sins over my memories of her last night. But in that moment, I found myself lying.

“No. I… I never have fantasies like that. We’re just friends, after all.”

Olivia’s smile faltered, and I immediately wished that I could take back what I had just said. She seemed almost disappointed, but quickly masked it with a polite smile.

“Right,” she murmured. “Just friends.”

We sat down together and enjoyed the meal and the sweet aroma of the fresh flowers, but hardly a word was said between us. When it was finished, and the dishes were cleaned up, I watched as Olivia retreated to the backyard with her book.

I stood there in the dining room, looking out over the yard through the window for a while as she swung lazily in the hammock and read her book in the sunlight. Even from where I stood, I could see how her lips softly formed the words that she was reading, and it made my chest ache.

With a sigh, I pulled the curtains shut and retreated to my bedroom.

My feelings for Olivia were far more complex than I had allowed myself to acknowledge.

And now, I could only hope that my foolish actions hadn’t just cost me not only any chances that I may have had with her, but also a valuable friendship.

———————————————————————

My dear readers, Thank you for stopping by and reading this story. I hope you enjoyed it. I’m trying my best to update asap. I’ll appreciate it if you explore my other stories as well. Please follow my facebook page Caroline above story and group Caroline above story if you wanna chat or keep updated on my writing schedule.

Yours，Caroline above story