Chapter 3

As the video played, I'd been crying harder and harder without realizing it.

Only when the nurse spoke did I notice how badly I was shaking. Even the hand holding my phone wouldn't stay still.

And I realized something that made me ashamed: after everything, I still loved Ethan.

He wasn't an object I could discard when it broke. He wasn't a friend I could cut off after an argument.

He was a living person. He was the man I'd loved for six years. Loving him had become so deeply familiar that I no longer knew how to stop.

For those six years, everyone had said he loved me more than anything. But hadn't I loved him the same way? After all the years we'd known each other, all the time we'd shared, I was finally facing the fact that I couldn't bear to lose him.

I remembered the heartbeat I'd heard during the examination. I wiped my eyes hard and took a long breath. I wanted to give Ethan and the baby one final chance.

I called him.

“Could you come here? There's something I need to tell you.”

His voice was unusually rough, as though he was holding something back.

“Claire, I've got something going on here. Ask the driver to bring you back. Whatever it is, we can talk when you get home…”

A low moan sounded through the phone. Then he hung up.

I listened to the disconnected line. I was old enough to know exactly what he'd been doing.

For a long time, I didn't move. Finally, I looked at the nurse waiting beside me.

“It's all right. We can go ahead.”

It was already dark when I got home. Ethan came to meet me as soon as I entered.

“The driver said you went shopping after your checkup. But you didn't bring anything back. Didn't you see anything you wanted?”

He stopped halfway through his questions, noticing my eyes.

“Claire, why are your eyes so swollen? Have you been crying? Did going to the appointment make you miss Ethan? It's okay. You're carrying his child. You still have something of him to hold on to.”

“Didn't you say you wanted to talk to me?”

I looked closely at his face. He was still so handsome. I could see myself reflected in his eyes.

The same face. The same eyes I'd watched in Vivian's video that afternoon.

I lowered my gaze.

“It wasn't anything important. I was going to ask if you two wanted me to bring anything home.”

His shoulders eased, as if he'd been waiting for something worse.

“Go rest, then. You must be tired after today.”

I nodded. Without saying anything else, I went to my room.

I really must have been exhausted. The moment I lay down, I fell asleep.

In my dream, Ethan was eighteen again. He stood in front of me with his face flushed, trying to tell me how he felt.

“Claire Morgan, I really like you. Will you go out with me?”

“I promise I'll be good to you.”

Maybe it had been the sunset that evening. Maybe it had been the honesty in his eyes.

Whatever it was, I'd found myself nodding yes.

When I woke up, daylight filled the room. Since hearing about Ethan's death, I'd hardly had a single night of sleep that peaceful.

I was still sitting in bed, trying to clear my head, when the door opened.

Vivian walked in, looking pleased with herself.

“Do you know why I sent that video yesterday? Do you honestly believe he's Ethan's brother? That I'm your sister-in-law?”