Chapter 123

Charles chuckled and patted my backside. “That it was. You should go clean up. I’ll let you shower first.”

“Thanks,” I muttered.

I climbed off the bed and hurried into the shower, trying not to leave any of the mess behind me as I did. My body still trembled with desire. So I waited until the hot water was on and the sounds of the shower would mask any indiscretions, and then I put my hand between my legs and finished the job.

Being that I was so turned on, there was no way I would spend the rest of the evening comfortably in bed with Charles if I was still that hot and bothered. And the last thing I wanted to do was invite him to go again.

I seriously had to get my shit together and figure out what I wanted from family planning. Or, at the very least, he and I needed to have some sort of conversation about contraception.

That got me thinking. I wonder if we had been enrolled in any sort of health plan with our jobs at the government? If I was, I could go and get myself on the pill.

But then, another horrifying thought occurred to me. With all of the watching that they seem to be doing. What if someone kept tabs on my doctor’s visit?

Everyone seemed focused on Charles and me starting a family here in Packhaven. What if news got out that I was on birth control? Would that disappoint people in some way? Bias them against me?

Or even worse, what if us having a baby was some part of their nefarious plan? What if they wanted to use the child against us or use it to lock us down or threaten the child to keep us away from trying to find the corruption?

I couldn’t risk anyone tampering with my birth control. I’d never be able to relax if I took the pill, not knowing whether I was getting the real stuff or whether I was just playing into some larger and sickening plan against us.

My emotions were in full swing with my cycle. Tears started flowing. At least I was in the shower, and when I got out, if I was red, I could blame it on still being breathless or the temperature of the water.

This was so frustrating and embarrassing. I’d have to talk to Charles. I’d have to find out if there were some way to get birth control without a prescription. Otherwise, he was just going to have to wear a condom.

There was no way that I could go on feeling like this every time we had sex. Worrying about whether or not I was going to get pregnant ruined this episode in bed. I wouldn’t let it do it to the next one.

I took an extra-long shower, not only cleaning myself but calming myself down so that when I came out, I received a giant grin from Charles.

“I knew you were a dirty girl, but I guess that was an understatement, given how long you were in the shower.”

I let out a long, deep breath and slumped onto the mattress. “I just needed a chance to relax after everything,” I said.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” he laughed. “Did you leave me any hot water?”

“I think we have an instant hot water tank. So I wouldn’t worry about it. If not,” I smacked his butt on the way past me, “the way you went at me, I think you could use a cold shower.”

“A little late for that,” he said, laughing at his joke as he entered the bathroom.

I rolled over and situated myself so that I could pretend to be asleep when he came back from the shower. He climbed into bed, kissed me gently on the cheek, and whispered, “I love you, Elena,” in my ear, and then curled around my back. Slowly, his breathing drifted off into sleep.

To my disappointment, a few more tears insisted on squeezing themselves out before I mercifully fell asleep, as well.

All night, I had nightmares about dreams in which Wendy betrayed me by stealing my unborn baby. When I woke, I was one hundred percent sure that things were going to have to change. I couldn’t live my life like this.

Charles and I were going to have to have a conversation. If we couldn’t find a way for me to safely get birth control, then he was just going to have to wear condoms. That was going to be a hard conversation to have, though, because I’d never asked him to wear one before.

I suppose I should have. I suppose I should not have assumed that he was waiting for me for sex just because he was waiting for me for my scent. Admittedly, I didn’t like to think about things like that. He’d never actually taken an STD test or anything.

Dear goddess, what had I gotten myself into? How could love and lust be so easy and so troublesome all at the same time? And how would Charles take me asking him to suddenly wear a condom?

The what-ifs plagued me, and without realizing it, I ended up at work. Wendy pounced on me the moment I walked in.

“Great, you’re finally here.” She pointed me straight out the door I’d just come in. “We have our next story. Interviews at the watershed.”

“What are we reporting on at the watershed?” I asked.

“Well, since the story that you broke was kind of community service, will they have you running on community issues here, as well?”

“I guess that’s up to me and the editor.”

“So there have been some allegations that there are forever chemicals in the water system. We’re headed to the headquarters for the watershed at the reservoir. They’ll walk us through how the water is purified before it gets pumped to Packhaven for consumption. And they’ll show us the facilities, and then they’ll do a test for forever chemicals in front of us to prove that they aren’t actually there.”

“They can do that test outside of the lab?”

“Not for all of them,” she said. “But for some, it’s just a little kit like they use when they test chlorine in a pool. The tests show the presence or absence in just a few minutes.”

“That’s why we’ll be taking a photographer. The whole point is to reassure the public that obviously the drinking water is safe.”

“Well, that’s good to know. I mean, that it’s safe,” I said. “Not that there’s rumors that it isn’t.”

She nodded. “Forever chemicals and microplastics, and all that kind of stuff people are worried about it. So it’s understandable that they would want to know that what they’re consuming is safe for them.”

“But Packhaven has state-of-the-art filters and stuff. Well, I don’t need to explain it all. That’s what we’re going out there to see. You wanted to tell the truth? This is your chance.”

She beckoned me to follow her down the hallway to the photography department. “Ed is our photographer. He’s going to come with us. He said he’d drive today. So we’re gonna meet him in the photography department and head out from there.”

“Okay,” I agreed, following her.

Theo tagged right along behind me.

Ed turned out to be a fatherly sort, with slightly wild white hair and a friendly sort of grin. That would make children love him.

He held out a hand for me to shake when I entered the room. “You must be our new reporter, Elena. Nice to meet you. I’m Ed.”

I shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, Ed.”

He glanced between Wendy and me. “Are you ladies ready to head out then?” His gaze settled on Theo. “Who’s…” He paused. “Oh, right.” He nodded and turned. “Well then. Let’s get started. The day’s a wastin’.”