Chapter 143

The doubts about Charles and I that took root in my heart killed off my appetite. But Theo had gone through the trouble of fixing a meal just for me. I forced down a few bites of what I’m sure would have been a delicious meal under other circumstances, but I still just couldn’t muster up an appetite.

When I’d eaten enough to not feel completely guilty for wasting his time and food, I stood. “Thanks for lunch, Theo. It was delicious. Someday, you’re going to have a very lucky wife. But I think I’m going to go work on my story. I’ll take my laptop and sit on the bed so you can do what you want out here.”

His phone beeped, and he looked at the text. “That was David. He said he got our new location, and he’s keeping it from Charles for the time being. He says not to worry. Charles is hanging in there well enough, things considered. Although, I would imagine that the two of them haven’t really had a heart-to-heart about it.”

His phone chimed again. This time, Theo’s gaze landed on me.

“It’s Violet. She wants to know if she can come over.”

“I don’t care,” I said.

“Yeah, but you just unloaded a lot. If you still feel the need to talk or just to have someone to hang out with. I know you don’t have a lot of female friends here. I’d be happy—”

“Theo,” I cut him off. “I don’t need babysitting. You’re not my girlfriend. And I’m not your girlfriend. Spend the energy on Violet.”

I realized how snappy that came out and sighed. “I’m sorry. You’re just trying to be kind and supportive. But honestly, this is all stuff I need to sort through on my own. Saying everything out loud is a good start. I feel like I can sort my thoughts now, and that’s all thanks to you.”

I stood, taking my plate to the kitchen. “Please spend the evening with Violet. You don’t need to press pause on your life just because I needed to on mine.”

He gave me a reassuring smile. “This is why I love having you for a charge. You’re such a good person. Thanks. I’ll have Violet over, and we’ll try our best to give you space to think.”

I retreated to the bedroom and shut the door, leaving the main space for Theo to have his date. To block them out and give myself a chance to think, I put on my headphones and focused on writing for work. My attention drifted off, and I got sidetracked watching short videos on the internet. Before I knew it, the soft thump of the main door announced that Violet was over.

I gave them as long as I possibly could for privacy. When my eyelids were drooping, and my throat parched with thirst, I gave up. I’d slip into the kitchen for a drink and not disturb them.

The two of them were asleep, curled up on the sofa together. It was sweet, and it made my heart hurt because that was what I wanted with Charles.

I refilled my cup with water and tiptoed back into the bedroom. After getting ready for bed and shutting off the lights, images of Theo on the couch with Violet haunted me. I dozed off, dreaming of Charles.

The dreams started peacefully enough, with us curled up like the pair in the living room. He swore he wanted me. But everyone around him, his mother, his sister, his brother-in-law, my boss, everyone, kept telling me how much I was failing him.

They taunted me about how I wasn’t good enough to be part of an alpha’s world. They mocked how I couldn’t even understand the pressures of a family like that. They said I was doomed to fail from the start because I wasn’t good enough.

Charles took me in his arms, whisking me away from all of the doubters. He found us a secluded location and began a seduction, all while whispering promises that he had condoms.

The seduction was so real that my excitement mounted as heat in my groin. I could practically hear him, his breath ragged as he rubbed against me, inside me.

My eyelids flew open, and mortification washed over me. My hand was between my legs, and I was the one pleasuring myself. My lady parts were hot and wet and yearning for Charles.

Most embarrassing, I was doing this in a room where the next bed belonged to my bodyguard. I turned to make sure he hadn’t caught me at my antics, and a whole new realm of embarrassment rammed its way into my chest.

There was indeed huffing going on in the room, but it was Theo and Violet. They must have assumed I was asleep, and while they were being quite quiet, it wasn’t quiet enough.

I couldn’t say anything to stop them or suggest they move elsewhere. That would be more embarrassing than trying to wait it out. But their antics had turned me on to a point that embarrassed me deeply, and the whole situation made me want to just bury my head in the sand like an ostrich.

Violet let out muted whimpers of pleasure, and I quietly rolled so that my back was to them, pretending to still be asleep. Hopefully, they wouldn’t look over at me and catch me intruding upon their private moment.

Unfortunately for me, Theo was clearly a virile young man. Several times, I heard them change positions, always followed by quiet huffing. The soft slap of skin against skin continued for what sounded like hours.

How the hell did anyone have that much stamina? And I thought Charles was an accomplished lover.

Or maybe the slow passage of time was just due to my own desire to have their moment be over and done. My own discomfort could have made it seem like their lovemaking lasted forever.

Finally, Violet’s whimpers quickened, and I heard the pillows rustle. The next thing I heard was her gasp into the pillow as she tried to block out her orgasm. Theo grunted, and the light slaps turned to hard thuds.

I tried not to imagine him with his back arched, muscles taught in release, but I couldn’t help the visions in my head. What I got was an image of lovemaking that Charles and I did, only it was Theo’s face on Charles’s body and Violet seeing him from my perspective as the two of them reached climax together.

Now I was in a completely miserable state because I had just listened to two lovers orgasm together. Their following kisses shot through the quiet darkness, hitting me like rubber bullets leaving bruises on my heart.

On top of all that, I was still wet and desirous, but I didn’t have Charles to help me fulfill myself. Instead, I was left to take matters into my own hands, quietly smothering my self-induced climax in my own pillows.

Breakfast passed in a blur of my own misery. Theo and Violet were all kissy-kissy, and I respectfully avoided any and all questions and comments regarding the fact that Violet stayed the night. I answered brightly, a simple “Yes,” when Theo asked if I slept well.

But between my dreams, and the other couple’s antics, and my discussion with Theo last night, I’d made up my mind. I needed to have a conversation with Charles.

Theo was right. Charles was a reasonable man, and it was influences outside our relationship making me feel this way, not him.

I didn’t need to be separated from Charles. I needed Charles to stand up for what I needed out of our relationship ship. And with Theo’s words still ringing in my ears, I knew that Charles would do just that.