Chapter 144

I waited until Theo and Violet were in the midst of tonguing each other in place of a goodbye kiss and retreated to the bedroom, shutting the door.

I dialed Charles’ number, knowing that he would be getting ready for work but not out of the house yet.

“Hello?” Charles answered. “Elena?”

“H-hi, Charles,” I stumbled. “I hope I’m not bothering you.”

“No! No bother at all.”

“Do you have a few minutes?”

He paused on the other end of the phone. “Can it wait until lunch? I’d much rather discuss things between us in person.”

“Yeah, I think that’s probably a good idea. I’m writing my article from home right now. So, I can meet you anytime for this. I’ll take lunch whenever you want, wherever you want.”

“How about that cafe a block or so from the offices,” he suggested. “The one that serves breakfast until dinner time.”

“I know which one you’re talking about,” I said. “Shall I meet you there at noon?”

“I’ll meet you there at noon. Elena,” he said before I hung up. “I’m glad to hear from you. I want you to know I’ve really missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, Charles. I’ll see you at lunch.”

Everything about that conversation felt weird when I hung up. I wasn’t used to talking to Charles like somebody I met in the hall that I hadn’t seen in forever. And yet, that’s exactly how the conversation felt to me.

I wandered back to the living room to tell Theo that we had an appointment for lunch. I opened the door and peered out.

Theo sat on the couch, his back to me. Violet sat on his lap, eyes closed, kissing him deeply.

Well, it wasn’t ideal, but at least this I could interrupt, unlike last night.

I took a couple of steps out before noticing the subtle but rhythmic shifts her torso was making. Oh, dear goddess. I’d pulled crap like that with Charles, so I knew exactly what was happening.

I quickly retreated back into my room, shutting the door as quietly as I could so they wouldn’t know that I’d caught them.

Was this what it was like for all of our guards living with Charles and me? I suddenly felt much sorrier for them. It was weird and awkward knowing exactly what was going on in someone else’s sex life.

I worked on my article until I heard them climax, then gave them an opportunity to tidy up and pull themselves together. I hadn’t seen any clothes on the floor, so they must have just pulled her skirt and things aside.

I blushed that I actually knew how such an escapade could work. The me of six months ago would have had no idea that such activities could be done without fully removing clothing.

Since they were on the sofa, I wonder if they had started discreetly the same way Charles and I had done on many occasions, thinking that if I happened to walk out, I wouldn’t notice what was going on. It had nearly worked. And I knew how easy it was to get carried away in those situations and how quickly one could lose track of whether or not they were being discreet.

All of a sudden, the times that Charles and I had sex in public spaces seemed less adventurous and more socially inappropriate. If I’d caught Theo and Violet and not said anything, how many people had known exactly what Charles and I were doing while we were doing it? I’d have to encourage him to be less obvious in the future.

I got absorbed in my work and mercifully didn’t notice anything else until Theo knocked on the door.

“Elena?” he called through the wood.

“Just working on my article. You can come in,” I said.

He poked his head in. “I just thought I’d let you know that Violet’s gone, and I’m at your disposal for the rest of the day if you need to go to any of your locations for your story.”

“Actually, I do have an appointment. I’m meeting Charles for lunch at noon.”

“That’s fantastic,” Theo said, giving me a big grin and a thumbs up. “Good luck.”

I grimaced. “It feels like I made an appointment to go eat rocks. I don’t have an appetite.”

He opened the door all the way and leaned casually against the frame. All that sex must have left him completely relaxed because he looked amazingly chill.

“I wouldn’t worry about lunch. No matter what needs to be worked out between you guys, Charles would be stupid to let an amazing girl like you get away. I’m sure if you stay true to your feelings and voice them to him, he will find a way to give you what you need in your relationship.”

“Thank you, Theo,” I said. “You’ve been kind and patient throughout this whole thing.”

He glanced at my laptop. “How’s your story going? I know life has been distracting.”

“Good. I only have two more places that I need to go and report on. Then I can submit the rough draft to the editor-in-chief on Monday or before, I hope.”

Theo ducked out of the room and left me to my work. But honestly, I couldn’t focus on it correctly because I was worried about what was going to happen with Charles. Thoughts intruded periodically all morning, until I finally left to go to the restaurant.

My guts were in absolute knots, and I felt like I needed a glass of wine and a hot bath just to calm me.

Charles was already waiting for me when we got to the café. He had taken a table in the back, and David was sitting nearby with a book. Theo hurried over and sat next to David, exchanging happy greetings with him.

On the other hand, I nervously took a seat across from Charles and sat there in silence, staring at the tabletop, unable to face him.

“I take it you’ve had a chance to think things through,” he said, breaking the ice.

“I have.” Somehow, my voice squeaked out when I said that. “Charles, you are the only man I want. And it seems like things have been tense between us because I haven’t been a strong enough voice. And that’s my fault.”

I stared down at my hands, folded on my lap. The smell of coffee mingled with Charles’ vetiver and turned my stomach inside out.

I looked up and met his eye. “I don’t want to muddle things up and have anything unspoken come between us again. I’m going to be abundantly clear about what I need from you because I want us to be back together the way that we were before.”

He reached across the table and gripped my hands. “That’s exactly what I want too. Just tell me what you need.”

I drew a deep breath, sorting the words in my head before speaking them. “I need you to accept the fact that I want to be your wife, but I don’t think I can be the kind of wife to you that your mother was to your father.”

“Oh?” he asked, drawing back slightly.

“I’m proud of who I am and who I’ve become. I’m proud of where I came from. I have no shame in it. And I know that you fell in love with me without any other expectations other than that I be myself. But if I tried to become the sort of socialite that your mother is, and I dropped my career so that I could have children right now, then I’m going to give up that person that you fell in love with. That’s not fair to either of us. That’s going to just end up making us resent one another, and I don’t want to resent you.”

“I don’t want you to resent me either.” Charles pressed his lips together. “Was there more?”

I nodded. “I don’t want you to fight with your mother. I couldn’t be a source of friction within your family. But I also need you to help her understand what I’m telling you right now. If she’s looking to have you married a woman exactly like her, that’s not going to happen. I will give you children, but eventually and on my terms.”

“Is that it?” he asked, his expression tight.

“I think so. I spent a good deal of time thinking that maybe I wasn’t worthy of you, that maybe you were better off without me because I’m not that sort of socialite wife that your mother wants for you. But then all I could think about was the love that we have for each other, and I knew that you wouldn’t want me to give up being who I am just to become some sort of woman that meets your mother’s ideals.”

Charles stared at me, and my heart thundered while I waited for him to agree.