Chapter 207

“Kathy?” My voice shattered that awkward silence.

“Yeah, I'm still here,” she said. “I’m just trying to wrap my head around all of this.”

“I know the feeling.”

“I think I've talked to you less than once a month. I feel out of the loop. I'm not entirely sure what to say to you anymore, especially not about something this big.”

“That's not your fault,” I said. “Never, ever think that I didn't call you because you did anything wrong as my friend. You have always been amazing. But with everybody on my case about everything, I just couldn't risk leading them back to you. I hope you understand.”

“Of course,” I understand, she said. “I've been worried sick about you for months now. Not that you needed to protect me like that. I’m a big girl and can handle trouble just fine. But I assumed that you didn’t call because you’re always protecting people like that. You weren't contacting me, and since there wasn't really anything that I could do to help you as it was, I decided to just follow along with whatever you thought was necessary.”

“Thanks for that,” I said.

“Is there anything I can do for you now? Do I call you your Highness?”

“Nothing is official yet. The king gave me terms, and I told him I needed to think about them. I have no doubt that's all just him scrambling to save face. I got the impression he wasn't really thrilled to find himself within adult heir all of a sudden—and a woman on top of that.”

She made a little noise in the back of her throat. “Misogynistic Bastard.”

“Well, he's definitely a misogynist. But I think the bastard part isn’t literal…never mind,” I said. “I get what you're trying to say. Anyhow, I just… I really needed to hear a friendly voice,” I told her. “I know it's really late there, so I won't keep you awake. But I just wanted you to know that I was still thinking of you and how much I love you. You've been my best friend for…well, ever.”

This time, she hissed through her teeth. “Don't say it like you're saying goodbye. I'm sure you'll find some way to get the king to let you see your friends, even if he does put you on some kind of lockdown so that he can manipulate you. You’re the heir, and now the public knows it.”

“I hope you're right,” I said. “But just in case, I needed to say the words out loud.”

I could imagine the scowling look on her face when she spoke next. Her tone conveyed all of her displeasure, and I knew none of it was aimed at me. “Well, I am going to call the palace every day until they let me talk to you.”

“That's sweet, but don't make too much of a pest of yourself. I'll talk to you again as soon as I can.”

I hoped that wasn't too hollow a promise.

“All right. If you're sure,” she said. “I love you, too, Elena.”

After she hung up, the silence seemed to feed on my head and face. I couldn't have such an emotional conversation with anyone else, or my head might explode, or I’d break down and sob.

So, the next messages I sent as texts. I sent some to Todd, Theo, and Jasmine, and I sent one to Gwen.

And then I called Charles. I couldn’t risk the last things I said to him being via texts.

“How are your accommodations?” he asked.

“Good enough,” I said. “But without you, they're not home.”

He let out a sigh. “Home. It's been a while since we've been there. Hasn't it?”

“Yes,” I agreed.

“It's just hard because we've been so many different places that you're the only thing that means home to me now. Everything else is just a room or an apartment, and you're my home,” he said.

“Charles, I—”

“Elena,” he cut me off. “What exactly did the king say?”

“He's given me a list of conditions if I want to be accepted into the royal family. But the blood test is confirmed, and I'm definitely his child.”

“Are you in danger?” Charles asked.

“I don't really want to talk about that,” I said.

“I'll take that as a yes.”

“As much as I have been all along, I suppose,” I agreed.

“Well, that's not a good place to be. So, what can I do to take your mind off things?”

“There's something that I really—”

“We're not saying goodbye,” he cut me off again.

“No, it's not—”

“No, Elena,” he cut me off a third time, his tone leaving no question we were done. “What are you wearing?”

I heaved out a sigh. “Really, Charles?”

“If you're in danger, you don't want to make the most of it? You don't want your last thoughts of me to be romantic?”

“I don't think I could focus on romance the way that I feel right now. Please, I don't want to play that game. I want to tell you something—"

“And I am not going to play this game,” he said. “We’re not doing this over the phone. I'll talk to the guards and the manservant and see if I can figure out when I can visit you again. If you're not interested in fooling around on the phone, then maybe I can kiss you into the mood when I see you next. And anything you have to say can be said after we’ve connected with one another.”

“Charles. This is important—”

“Yes, it is. Are you telling me face-to-face wouldn’t be much better?”

Without letting me finish, he hung up.

Now, I flopped back and pressed my palms to my eyes. How frustrating. All I wanted to tell him was about the baby, and now he wasn't going to let me have that chance.

It had taken quite a bit of effort on my part to get up the courage to say anything because it certainly wasn't a subject I wanted to do over the phone. At the very least, he’d been right about that.

But since I’d left such important things unsaid, now I'd have to hope that the palace would actually let me see him again. And when I did, I’d have to hope I could break through whatever stubbornness was riding him and leading him to avoid important topics.

I lay there, and I stared at the ceiling again, composing myself, rolling over and over whether or not I should tell Charles about the baby and how I should do it—if I was going to do it.

Maybe I should just blurt the words as he walked through the door. But then, I didn't want anyone else from the palace to know. I'd worked pretty hard to keep my condition from the king because now I was certain that he'd take my baby from me and use it against me, especially if the child was a male.

A male child of mine would have enough of a blood connection for the king to claim my child as his heir. That would also seriously put Charles' family in danger, particularly Charles, because the alpha king would not want a rival alpha as the father of the heir.

After rolling over these depressing thoughts numerous times, I finally came to the conclusion that I should just take the secret of my child to the grave with me. I was far too early in the pregnancy for the baby to be spirited away to safety like I was. So, I couldn’t call on the goddess to step in again.

There was simply no way my baby would survive outside my womb. And I would certainly rather take the baby with me if I was going to die rather than allow it to fall into the hands of the alpha king. So, it's best just to let things happen, as morbid as that may be.