Chapter 31

(Ronan’s POV)

After days of frosty silence between Julia and me, I decided it was time to start making amends. While I still didn’t know what exactly I had done to upset Julia, I knew we couldn’t go on like this. And besides, I missed her, as silly as it sounded.

I had always been a solitary person, preferring my own company to that of others. I didn’t want romantic entanglements, and I even found friendships too constraining. Alex, my Gamma, was the closest thing I had to a friend; that is, until Julia had entered my life.

When I heard my driver preparing to go pick her up at the office after yet another late night, I decided to go with him. If Julia was trapped in the car with me, she wouldn’t be able to avoid me like she did at home.

I waited in the car. Once Julia opened the building door and started walking through the parking lot, I felt a knot of tension untangle somewhere in my shoulders. However, when a shadowy figure emerged from the darkness, my heart leapt into my throat.

My hand was on the door handle in a flash, but before I could jump out of the car, my brain registered who that figure was: Kevin. He was holding a bouquet of sunflowers, Julia’s favorite, and it looked like he was trying to talk to her.

I smiled a little. Even though Kevin’s mere presence irritated me, I was amused at the prospect of seeing Julia rip into him and give him what he deserved. His treatment of her had been horrible, and I wanted her to make him feel as small as he had once made her feel.

However, my smile dropped as I watched Julia listen to him kindly. She even smiled at him! What was he saying? What was he promising her? Did she believe him? When Julia smiled and accepted the sunflowers from Kevin, my heart sank and I felt sick.

I should’ve seen it coming. Of course, Julia would reconcile with her ex-mate. Of course, she would want the father of her child to be in the pup’s life. Of course, she wouldn’t want anything more to do with me.

I felt a wave of jealousy wash over me, but tried to push the feeling away. Why should I feel jealous? I never had any kind of claim on Julia’s heart, and it was foolish of me to ever think that I might get the chance to.

Julia left Kevin standing in the parking lot and made her way to the car. She swung open the door and jumped a little at the sight of me. I’m sure the thunderous expression on my face didn’t help matters.

“Oh!” she said. “I — um, I didn’t know you would be pickling me up. You scared me.” Julia laughed a bit, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the flowers in her arms. I looked away, towards the driver, and told him to take us home.

As we drove silently towards the house, I wondered if I should ask her what she and Kevin spoke about. I mean, maybe he didn’t want to talk about restarting their relationship. Maybe Kevin just wanted to inquire about the health of the baby.

I knew that if I asked, Julia would tell me — she was always open with me and never attempted to avoid a direct question. But if I did ask her about their conversation, I would appear weak. Julia was smart and she would immediately understand why I would ask such a question.

I clenched my fists and looked out the window, trying to gather myself. I will not ask, I thought determinedly. I refuse to look weak. Not in front of Julia. We continued home in silence, falling back into the same routine of the last few days.

As we kept working tirelessly on the merger, Julia and I remained distant. I still didn’t know what I had done to upset her so much in the first place, but the jealousy I felt seeing her and Kevin together made me glad we were avoiding each other.

I was also happy I hadn’t asked her about their conversation in the car, as she would have been forced to admit the truth to me: that they had reconciled and were now back together. Oh, she never confirmed it, either way, but I could tell.

Every time she left the room to take a phone call, I imagined the happy, giggling conversations she was probably having with Kevin about what life would be like once the baby arrived. Or, when she would read a text message during a meeting and smile, I knew Kevin had sent her something sweet.

My envy was practically consuming me, but I couldn’t do anything to stop it. Instead, I just reminded myself that Julia would be gone after the baby’s birth, leaving me to go live with Kevin, most likely. I just had to hold on until then.

(Julia’s POV)

Ever since that night Kevin and Ronan surprised me in the parking lot after work, things had been even stranger. I thought things were tense between me and Ronan before, but now? Now, we hardly saw each other.

Which explained why the first time I heard that the official Beta selection ceremony would be taking place was in an all-staff email, and not from Ronan himself. I stared at my computer screen, reading and rereading the words.

“Congratulations!” I looked up to see Rachel, one of the new faces from Pack Theta. I frowned. “For what?” Rachel laughed and said, “The Beta ceremony! I mean, I know they still have to officially confirm you, but who else would it be?”

Rachel wasn’t the only one who offered me their congratulations. Many of my coworkers acted like it was already decided that I would officially become the pack’s Beta, and I had to admit, it did make sense.

From my work on the merger, ushering it through every vital stage, to the effort I put in every single day, no matter the project, I was PackHouse’s clear choice for Beta. Not to mention, I was already the pack’s Acting Beta.

I wasn’t as sure, though. While I wouldn't give up my baby for anything, the pregnancy had complicated matters. I had planned to leave the pack after giving birth, lying low in the aftermath and avoiding any questions about the baby’s father, then return to PackHouse once I knew it was safe.

However, the Beta selection ceremony was scheduled for the same week my doctor had told me I was due to give birth. Would it really be fair for me to put myself forward as a candidate when I wouldn't be able to take on the role of Beta for months?

It was a hard decision, but in the end, I knew what I had to do. I sent the selection committee an email informing them of my decision to withdraw from the Beta selection, pointing to my pregnancy and impending motherhood as the reason.

I tried not to think about it as I headed home for the night. However, Ronan had other ideas. “How could you?!” he yelled as he stormed into the bedroom. “Why would you give up everything you’ve worked for like this?”

I was taken aback by his reaction, especially because Ronan had always been the one trying to get me to put my child over my job. I took a deep breath, then said calmly, “Ronan, this is what’s best, for me, the baby, and PackHouse. You need a Beta who can start right away and continue overseeing the merger.”

“Oh, because you won’t have time,” Ronan spat out angrily. “You’ll be too busy with your personal life, I suppose. A happy family: you, the baby, and its father.” I frowned, confused by what he was saying, but before I could reply, he said, “And you’ll be leaving PackHouse soon enough, too, I’m sure.”

Rona laughed humorlessly. “All that talk about wanting to be a mother and a professional. I can’t believe I thought you were serious.” My face grew hot and I felt tears sting my eyes. I was in shock that Ronan would really think so low of me, especially after all the support he had shown me over our time together.

When I didn’t respond, Ronan just shook his head and left the room. He didn’t come back to bed that night and I was glad. I needed some time to think about what was best for me and the baby, and right now, it seemed like the best move would be to leave Ronan’s house.