Chapter 5 Babies

I gently ruffled his hair and kissed his cheek, taking advantage of these moments to shower him with affection before he grows up and becomes too shy for it.

“Baby, Mommy has a reason why we have to stay away from your daddy. You're still too young to understand it now, but when you're older, Mommy will explain everything to you. Is that okay?”

Elliot's expression remained completely blank, and in that moment, the resemblance to Eros was haunting. My boys inherited almost everything from Eros, except for their eyes, which they got from me.

Elliot didn't say a word. He simply climbed down from my lap, walked straight into the bathroom, and closed the door. Elliot is usually a cheerful child, but whenever he turns serious, I see Eros staring right back at me. Leaving him to have his moment, I turned to wake the other two who were still sound asleep.

“Cronus, Elion. Wakey wakey, you have school today,” I coaxed, wrapping my arms around them. They were growing so fast, getting heavier and taller by the day.

“Morning, My,” they grumbled together, rubbing the sleep from their eyes.

“Good morning, my babies. Come on, let's take a bath; you have school today.” Hearing that, they got up right away.

Taking Cronus gently by both hands, I led him into the bathroom, only to find Elliot standing inside, silently crying. He was using his tiny hands to wipe away his tears. Fortunately, his brothers didn't notice, so no questions were asked. I undressed the three of them and got them washed up.

At the breakfast table, Elliot's every movement made it painfully obvious that he had completely lost his appetite. He truly, deeply wanted to meet his father. But what if Eros rejects him? What if he turns them away? What if he already has a new family and other children by now? It would shatter my son's heart, and I couldn't bear to let that happen.

“Are you okay, Elliot?” Mommy Lourdes asked gently, noticing how listless he was.

“I’m okay, Mamita,” Elliot replied, his voice completely devoid of emotion.

Elion noticed it too and asked his brother what was wrong, but Elliot merely nodded silently, picking at his rice with a spoon.

“Elliot, you’re not okay. What do you want, sweetheart? Tell Mamita, and I’ll get it for you,” his Mamita offered sweetly.

Elliot can certainly be stubborn at times. And when my patience runs thin…

He simply shook his head at Mommy, listlessly playing with his food. When I saw rice spilling off the edge of his plate, I couldn't hold back anymore.

“Elliot!” I snapped, my tone sharp with anger.

He glared at me and slammed his spoon down onto his plate. The loud clang echoed through the room, making the maids gasp in surprise. Mommy Lourdes gripped her chest, startled by his sudden outburst.

“I want my daddy!” he screamed, bursting into tears as he bolted up the stairs to the second floor.

I looked down at the remaining two boys, who were staring at me in confusion. Cronus, unaware of what had transpired, softly asked what happened. I couldn't bring myself to answer; I just sat there in absolute silence. Tears began to trace hot paths down my cheeks. Am I not enough for them? I gave them all the love and care in the world... Why do they still need to look for Eros?

“Mom... we want to meet our daddy too,” Elion murmured with a heavy sigh.

I looked over at Mommy Lourdes, who was watching me quietly. I silently searched her face for a sign, asking whether we should finally return to the city or not. Mommy was one of the main reasons I dreaded going back; I couldn't stand the thought of being separated from her.

Mommy gave me a soft smile and nodded reassuringly. I offered a forced smile and nodded back. Turning to the two boys still seated at the table, I took a breath.

“If that's what you all truly want... alright,” I said softly, standing up to go check on Elliot.

I gently pushed open the door to their bedroom. I found Elliot lying on his bed, sniffling softly under his blanket, though his small face was still visible. I walked over, sat beside him, and gently stroked his hair. He looked up at me and immediately threw his arms around me.

“I'm sorry, Mommy... I'm sorry for throwing a tantrum. I promise I won't do it again,” he sobbed into my shoulder.

I held him tight, pressing a deep kiss onto his forehead.

“Do you really want to see your daddy that badly?” Even if every fiber of my being resisted it, I knew I had to do this to prevent another outburst. I couldn't let us fall apart over their desperate desire to know their father.

“Yes, Mommy... but if you don't want us to, then we won't. Just please don't cry,” he whimpered, reaching up to wipe my cheek.

“Elliot, I know you're still young, and you don't understand everything yet.” I took a deep, shaky breath before continuing. “The reason why we had to stay away from your daddy is that... he hurt me in the past. Your daddy was my first love. And I'm scared... I'm so scared that if you meet him, you'll leave me for him... or that he might end up hurting you, too.” I couldn't suppress the heavy sob that escaped my chest at those last words.

I couldn't lose my children to their father. They are my ultimate strength, my joy, and the sole reason I keep fighting to live. I was terrified that if I brought them to him, they would choose him over me, or grow to resent me for keeping them away from their father for so long.

“No, Mommy, I will never leave you. I promise,” Elliot whispered sweetly, wrapping his arms tighter around my neck.

“Me too, Mom!”

“Me, three!”

Elliot and I turned to see Elion and Cronus standing by the bed. They quickly scrambled up and joined our tight embrace. Tears streamed down my face unabated; I love them so endlessly. It would kill me if I ever lost a single one of them.

“I love you all so much, my babies,” I whispered, holding them close with my eyes squeezed shut.