Chapter 6 Lose

Today is the day I dread the most. Today, we are returning to the country.

I am stepping back into the place where I was deeply broken, where my family turned their backs on me, where my sister threw me to the wolves, and where the man I loved shattered my heart. I never wanted to set foot here again, but I am doing this for my children.

The boys were bouncing with excitement as we made our way through the airport, except for Cronus, who held tightly to the hem of my shirt. I gently took his small hand, then lifted him into my arms. He was getting heavy, but I bore the weight gladly; the overwhelming guilt over his condition, which was entirely my fault, made any physical strain feel insignificant.

It was just the four of us on this trip. Mommy Lourdes couldn't come along because of work commitments, though she promised to follow in a month or two. She had arranged a condo for us in city while her own house was being renovated.

She has no children or husband of her own, so she always tells me I was a godsend, that through me, she got to experience being a mother. I am endlessly grateful to her. If it weren't for her, I honestly don't know where my children or I would be today.

“Careful, boys!” I reminded them as they scrambled to pull our luggage off the carousel.

Cronus clung to my clothes while his brothers practically vibrated with excitement, desperate to haul the bags so we could finally go home.

“Mommy, I’m scared,” Cronus murmured at my side.

I caressed his cheek and gently ruffled his hair. I’m so sorry, Cronus... I’m so sorry…

“Don’t be, baby. We’re just grabbing our bags, and then we’re going home.” Cronus simply nodded against me.

I turned my attention back to the other two, who were currently eyeing our last piece of luggage, competing over who got to grab it first. Before I could say a word, Elion shoved Elliot, sending him tumbling to the ground. Panicked, I rushed over to pull them apart before a scene could break out.

“What happened here?”

Both boys froze when they heard my sharp tone. I helped Elliot up and pulled the suitcase toward me.

“What did I tell you about fighting? You’re brothers; you do not do that to each other.” I couldn't hide the anger in my voice. The thought of them fighting, or turning on each other the way my own sister turned on me, terrified me to my core.

“Elion pushed me, Mommy!” Elliot whined, dusting off his hands.

“Because I said I could do it myself, but he wouldn't let me!” Elion snapped back.

I squeezed my eyes shut, taking a deep breath to keep from yelling at them in the middle of a crowded airport. Opening my eyes, I pinned them both with a stern look.

“This is the last time, Elliot, Elion. If I catch you two fighting again, we are turning right around, heading back to Australia, and never coming back here. Do you understand?”

They stared at each other, their eyes flashing with defiance. In that split second, the resemblance to Eros was uncanny. I began counting down from three, which instantly snapped them back to reality. Elion quickly apologized to his older brother, and I couldn't help but smile when Elliot pulled him into a brief hug.

“Let’s go, babies,” I said, walking back toward where I had left Cronus.

My heart stopped.

The spot where I had left Cronus was empty. A cold wave of panic surged through my body. Cronus wasn't used to new environments; without his sight, he would be terrified. He was probably crying somewhere right now.

I scanned the immediate area, but he was nowhere in sight. Panic setting in, I quickly turned to the other two.

“Elliot, Elion, stay right here and do not fight. I am going to find your brother, okay? Do not move an inch from this spot. If a stranger approaches you, ignore them. Do you hear me?”

Back in Australia, I could manage all three of them in public without any issues, which was why I hadn't brought a nanny on the flight. But right now, Cronus was lost in a massive, unfamiliar airport, completely blind.

God... Cronus…

I frantically searched the terminal, asking passersby if they had seen a little boy. I searched until I finally heard a familiar voice. I would recognize my son's voice anywhere. A short distance away, I saw him with his back turned, chatting animatedly with someone. I ran over as fast as my legs could carry me.

“Really? You have that many toys?”

“Cronus... my baby...” I breathed out, my voice trembling.

The moment he turned toward me, I pulled him into a desperate, crushing hug, tears streaming down my face. I held him tight, terrified of losing him again, before pulling back to check his face. He was holding a small toy airplane. I kissed him repeatedly, knowing I would never forgive myself if anything happened to my children.

“Cresseda...?”

I froze at the sound of my real name. Looking up, my jaw dropped.

It had been five years since I last saw him. He had grown taller, his features far more mature.

It was Erwan, Eros’s younger brother.

“Erwan... did you find my son?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper as I lifted Cronus into my arms.

Relief washed over me knowing it was Erwan who had found him and not a stranger. Cronus was far too trusting, making him vulnerable in unfamiliar places.

Erwan looked completely bewildered, his eyes shifting between me and the child in my arms. He pointed a trembling finger at Cronus, struggling to find his words.

“Y-Your... son?” he stuttered, completely stunned.

I forced a faint smile and nodded. There was no point in lying; he wasn't blind, and he would eventually ask questions anyway.

“Thank you so much, Erwan. I have to go, someone's waiting for us,” I said, turning to leave, but he caught my wrist, stopping me in my tracks.

“Is he... my brother’s?” Erwan asked, staring intently at Cronus. “He looks just like brother Eros when he was little. And Eros was your only boyfriend... I was the one who set you two up.”

My lips trembled. I didn't want to drag Eros into this, but I couldn't bear the thought of Erwan believing I had just moved on with someone else.

I swallowed hard. “Yes, Erwan,” I whispered, closing my eyes tightly. “But please... please don't tell Eros. I'll tell him myself when the time is right. Please, Erwan... I’m begging you.”

Erwan’s expression was conflicted, but after a tense silence, he slowly nodded. I breathed a sigh of relief, thanked him again, and rushed back to the spot where I had left the other two.

I found Elliot and Elion sitting on the floor, looking thoroughly dazed. The moment Elliot spotted me, he yelled, “Mommy!” and sprinted into my arms. Elion stayed put, so I carried Cronus over and wrapped all three of them in a tight embrace.

I can't live without these boys... I can't lose them…