Chapter 78

Dominic

It’s hard to say what time I woke up the next morning, since I had never fully gone to sleep.

The pull-out couch in the office was not horrible, but the reason I was using it made the experience extremely uncomfortable. This bed was meant for unplanned late nights or extra guests, not to be voluntarily slept on by a member of the Alpha family.

Not to mention one of my size. My feet hung off the end unless I slept somewhat diagonally or curled under the sheets.

I stared at the ceiling so long I started to think about re-plastering it and replacing the ceiling fan. Maybe I should redo the whole office, then wondered if I would be expected to take over my father’s office when I became Alpha. It seemed cruel to kick him out of his space, and I did not relish the idea of a new commute through the manse to get any work done.

Stop ignoring the problem.

I snorted and rolled over, annoyed with my wolf for keeping me focused on the issue at hand. Mira.

Almost immediately upon my arrival at the office I regretted my decision to storm out on her. But my pride had already been bruised and I didn’t dare return to her with my tail between my legs. Maybe it was childish, or maybe it was habit that we never outgrew.

I’d made my bed, and now I had to quite literally sleep in it.

Pride goeth before the…

“Shut up!” I bellowed aloud, as if my inner wolf could hear me better by doing so.

Rubbing my hands over my face, I tried to erase the memory from my mind. But my last conversation with Mira kept coming back and replaying itself like a broken tape.

“What will it take of you to trust me?”

“What will it take for you to love me?”

In my memory my voice took on a whining desperation, and I admonished myself for ever thinking Mira could love me in that state. An Alpha did not stoop to being a fool in love, and did not beg for other’s approval or admiration.

And yet, I stood in front of her and asked that question. She thought I didn’t trust her, and maybe somewhere it was still true.

In coming to terms with my true feelings of love for Mira, I had to examine the other feelings as well. If she didn’t ever feel the same, would I ever truly trust her with my whole heart? Unrequited love can bring out the worst in people, and I didn’t exactly have a great track record when it came to emotional control. My anger and jealousy were an unruly pair.

Then I pictured myself growing old and hardened, closing off my heart again after Mira burst it open. Neither outcome looked enticing.

My thoughts continued to spiral down this course, bouncing between Mira, Celeste, my mother, and back again. As I watched the first rays of sunlight pierce through the window, thankful at least that this night wouldn’t last forever.

Reaching out to Mira mentally, I could feel that she was still closed off from me. Maybe she was just asleep, but it still felt like a cold shoulder. I decided I would resort to texting in the morning, a form of communication that now felt obsolete for the two of us.

I closed my eyes, sending a prayer to whatever gods were listening to turn off my brain for at least a few minutes.

Someone was listening, and I slipped into darkness.

Mira

I stared at the door for what felt like thirty minutes, and then I crawled straight into bed. His words were echoing in my head loud enough to fill the whole room.

“What will it take for you to love me?”

So, he was wondering why I didn’t say it back. My silence had been interpreted as rejection, and it set off a storm inside him that could not be calmed. I only hoped that when it did blow over the damage was not too great.

Though I didn’t appreciate whatever pompous attitude he had around my spending time with Lucian, I knew Dominic wasn’t fully in the wrong. I had taken too lightly his admission of adoration, and wounded him without even meaning to.

I lay in bed for a long time before I was able to get to sleep. I thought back to the moment in question, in the woods, when he told me he loved me. My body hummed as the memory whooshed back into frame in my mind’s eye.

The sunlight was glinting in his dark eyes, making them look almost purple. His hands were hot as they caressed my back and still sent shivers up my spine. My own body pulsating with desire unlike any I’d felt before, wanting to throw morals to the wind and let this wild man consume me.

I sighed out loud as I enjoyed the pleasure of that moment right before everything shifted.

“Because, I love you.”

His voice was so steady, practical. It was delivered with the same certainty and sincerity that one might use to tell someone that the sky is blue, but not in an unfeeling way. For him, it was a significant truth and piece of him that he accepted and shared with me.

And I had said nothing.

Before my face settled into too much a state of shock, I pulled him back down into a kiss. My body responded aptly and I hoped that this physical language might make up for my lack of outward expression. He didn’t seem unpleasant, and he would never try to push me into something I didn’t believe.

But then time passed. It was clearly on his mind as he balked at the marriage documents, and maybe more when he spoke with his father afterwards. and then I went about my day without even thinking about a way to tell him. By the time I got home, he must've been tortured by my silence. It seemed like I had forgotten all about it.

When morning came, I was frustrated with myself and with my trust issues and with the messed-up adolescence that had forced me to put up walls around my heart. I laced up my sneakers quickly and took to the woods, now more than ever driven to be out in nature as soon as my eyes opened.

Once out of sight of any houses, I transformed. It was getting easier and easier, with only some discomfort as my bones and flesh morphed between human and wolf. And I grew to like that feeling, like a deep massage ironing out knotted muscle. Following my instincts, I spent my time changing back and forth. I was almost frenetic with exhilaration as I leapt over fallen trees and scrabbled over rocks, forging my own path.

After years of being wolf less, relying only on my human legs to propel over the trails, the elation was indescribable. I wondered if it was just the contrast of my previous lifestyle that made my wolf feel so powerful, or if I really was something special. Maybe it had something to do with Dominic, my Fated Mate, well-known for being a strong Alpha by any reasoning.

He is a part of me.

I double-over panting, an ache in my heart bringing me out of my playtime and back to my relationship. My wolf was stating the obvious, and I was finally listening. We were connected, Dominic and me, and our bond was stronger than any modern logic could comprehend.

And, of course, I loved him.

The smile burst across my face as I admitted it to myself. Judging by the sun I decided it wasn’t too early to text him, letting him know I wanted to see him as soon as possible. I didn’t get past the home screen though, as I was distracted by more missed calls from Ward from the night before. He’d left a voicemail, and I caved to listen to it.

“Mira, hey, me again,” his voice sounded frantic, “please call me back. I need to tell you the truth about someone you trust.”