Chapter 108

Lucian’s POV

While I didn’t agree with Sheila that Aria should be totally forgotten, I could acknowledge, at least to myself, that my clinging onto the past wasn’t healthy. So, after installing a lock on Aria’s old bedroom door, I resolved to keep it locked and not visit it again.

Every time I had stepped inside, I had forced myself to face the mistakes of my past. It had been a necessary penance, I’d thought, yet, I felt no closer to forgiving myself for the acts I’d committed against Aria, mainly through ignorance or negligence.

Aria was lost to me. No amount of penance was going to change that fact. She had moved on with Jasper or someone else. Soon she would move out of the pack.

Clinging to the past, no matter how much I missed her and wanted to change things, was foolhardy. I’d only continue to hurt myself.

For my own future, for my kingdom’s future, I had to maintain focus, and that meant leaving Aria in the past.

As much as I could anyway. Already I felt the weight of the key in my pocket, as if it wanted me to go back to her door, open it, and be surrounded by her memory once more.

Moving on from this would be an uphill climb. As Alpha King, I had to be strong enough, but internally, I doubted I would ever recover. The gaping hole in my chest that had opened up during the mutual rejection lingered, hollow and painful. No one but Aria herself would have been able to fully heal it again.

“Aria is our mate,” my wolf whispered, no help at all. “We need our mate.”

“Our mate needs us to leave her alone,” I told him firmly. “That means her memory too.”

“We cannot forget her. We will not.”

“We have to.”

Despite my insistence, I knew it was easier said than done.

The next morning, Sheila finally came out of her room as pleasant as if the previous night had not happened at all.

She did this sometimes, after her big meltdowns. She’d act right as rain, all bright smiles and sunshine. Initially, it had been disarming. Now, I had learned to never take any of her emotions at face value – especially her good moods. A meltdown was always waiting just under the surface.

“Today is my final checkup with Dr. A,” she said. “I was hoping you would come with me, Lucian. You’ve come to all the others, so it’s only right.”

I had already promised to be with her throughout her recovery. This, I had hoped, would help relieve me of some of the guilt of my past crimes. Introducing Sheila to her ex-husband Travis, who had caused all this mess, was the worst of anything I had ever done my entire life.

It was the least I could do to see the harm that caused, in part, be healed.

“Are you certain you wish for me to go?” I asked, remembering what the elders had said, wanting me to marry Dr. A. Sheila had not taken kindly to that news when she had first heard it.

Even now, her smile tightened. “You don’t actually intend to marry Dr. A, do you?”

“No,” I said.

“Then it’s fine.”

With that assurance, I went and grabbed my coat. I drove Sheila to the hospital, and then together, we headed upstairs for her appointment.

Walking into the office, I was surprised to see Dr. A sitting behind the reception desk instead of her assistant, Piper.

Sheila was surprised too, apparently, but lacked the tact to keep it quiet. “Surely they don’t have the great Healer Dr. A answering the phones now?”

“Piper is taking the necessary tests to become a Healer in her own right,” Dr. A replied smoothly. “Answering the phones in my own office is not a task that is beneath me.”

Sheila’s eye twitched as she smiled. “Well, I hope you remember that you have an appointment with me today. Can you step away long enough for that?”

“Sheila,” I scolded.

She closed her mouth, but didn’t or couldn’t hide the continued resentment in her eyes.

“I haven’t forgotten,” Dr. A said, standing.

The moment she did so, I noticed the way her stomach had grown since last I had seen her. Her pup must have been strong, growing well. The man who impregnated her might have been otherwise worthless, abandoning the mother of his child, but at least his genes seemed healthy.

She looked at me then, and a small sense of awkwardness fell between us.

No doubt she had seen the news, of the elders who were pushing her and me to be married. Hopefully she also read about how I had pushed back at that suggestion, telling everyone who would listen that I wasn’t ready to be married again so soon after my divorce to Aria.

Aria.

A pang of longing echoed through me.

She’d always wanted children. I remembered her telling me, in what felt like a different life now, “I want at least four. And they can’t be spread too far apart, so they can all have playmates with each other.”

For a time, we had tried to have children, but nothing ever came of it. Perhaps because our bond had not yet solidified.

That was my fault. I’d been so distant, so focused on work. If I had cared about her more back then, perhaps we could have had all the children she wanted by now.

Maybe everything would have turned out differently.

He could have had a house full of mischief and laughter and love.

Instead of a house of locked doors and silence.

Dr. A glanced away. “I hope you don’t mind, but I have a new assistant today.”

A man stepped out from Dr. A’s personal office. He was wearing a mask similar to Dr. A’s, that covered his eyes, the bridge of his nose and the shape of his cheekbones. He was clean-shaven, wearing Healer scrubs, and had a strong, proud posture.

Something about him struck me as familiar, though I couldn’t place why.

His scent gave nothing away. Somehow, he had that same unusual sterile smell as Dr. A. Were they related? Or was he using hormone blockers?

“I don’t care who you have assist you so long as this appointment starts soon,” Sheila said, not looking at the assistant. She simply waved her hand at everything. “This is our last one, don’t forget, and I expect to hear good news. The sooner I don’t have to come back to this hospital ever again, the happier I will be.”

“This way,” Dr. A said, seemingly not taking Sheila’s words to heart, and led them out into the hallway.

Dr. A led the way, with Sheila behind. I followed third, with this new assistant walking behind me.

Twice I turned to look at him. I couldn’t get over the feeling that I knew him from somewhere. Had I gone to school with him years ago?

Maybe.

As I continued to think, Dr. A led us to one of the examination rooms.

“Should I undress?” Sheila asked, expecting to be examined.

“That won’t be necessary today,” Dr. A said.

Sheila entered the room first, while Dr. A stayed by the door.

I entered second, while casting a curious glance between Dr. A and her new assistant, who entered behind us.

Sheila sat on the examination table, and turned. Finally she took one look at the assistant and gasped, “It’s you!”