Chapter 156

Aria’s POV

“Lucian…”

I could tell he was hanging on my every word, nervously anticipating my answer.

I hated that I was about to break him. But surely he would understand.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I can’t marry you.” Before he could say anything, and he clearly wanted by how quickly he opened his mouth, I held up my hand, asking without words for him to allow me to continue. “I care about you, Lucian. But is that enough? I’m just not the same person that I used to be.”

“Whatever our differences are,” Lucian said, “We can work it out. If we care about each other, if we want a relationship enough, then can’t we force everything else to fall into place?”

“I can’t be your Luna again,” I said. “I have my own career to focus on.”

“I’d never ask you to stay home and be a housewife,” Lucian said. “I know that’s not what you want.”

“But there’d still be other things required of me as Luna. At the very least, I would have to cut back on my own career – my own dreams – to be able to fulfill those duties.”

As I’d already been Luna of the pack once before, there was no mystery what the position entailed. There could be no sugar-coating it. I knew every nitty-gritty detail.

People had been cruel to me back then as well. Yes, generally, people were more accepting of me now, and have embraced me as being Dr. A, but those old attitudes were hard to forget. It put a dark cloud on all the Luna obligations, remembering how much I’d been ridiculed in the past.

“I simply don’t have the time for this,” I said. “Not unless I’m willing to sacrifice my career, and I’m not. I’m sorry, Lucian. I care about you, but this is bigger than that. I just can’t be with you.”

The disappointment was clear on Lucian’s face, even as he tried to mask it, but to his credit, he didn’t try to push me. “I understand your reasoning,” he said. “And it is a comfort to know that I’m not alone in my feelings, even with these things standing in our way.”

His words brought some relief to the guilt that swelled inside of me. It went against my nature to disappoint him like this, when I had dedicated such a large portion of my life to ensuring that he was happy. Now, however, I had to consider my own feelings and my own future.

“I guess you will be headed back to Moonglow then,” he said.

“Yes.”

“When?” he asked.

I considered it. There really wasn’t much reason for me to stay anymore, with Cathy cured and Harold on the mend. I wanted to make sure the pack had an updated supply of the life-extending medicine, as well as the knowledge on how to reach me this time when they needed more. But other than that…

“I don’t know,” I said. “A few days.”

“My parents will want to see the kids again,” he said. “And so would I.”

“Your parents and you are welcome to see them whenever you like. We can arrange some visits before I leave. And, after we’re gone, you and your parents are welcome to visit anytime you’d like. I have a spare bedroom at our house. It might be a nice vacation spot, since we are so close to a beach.”

“It sounds beautiful,” he said.

“I’d love for you to see it.”

“Me too.” He dipped his head and his gaze down and away. “Maybe in a few weeks, after licking my wounds a little.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” I said.

“I know,” he replied. “I was the one who pushed you away, Aria. I had the whole world in my hands, and didn’t appreciate it. I have no one to blame but myself.”

Over the next few days, I didn’t see Lucian at all. Presumably he saw the kids after I took them to spend time with their grandparents. Harold was out of the hospital and eager to see the kids.

With the kids there, I returned to Cathy’s and started packing up my clothes and that of the kids. Cathy was feeling better too and offered to help me.

As we packed, she asked, “Are you sure about this? Going back, I mean.”

“I like my clinic,” I said. “The kids and I carved out a life there, and it was nice. But I’ll be back to visit, Cathy. I can assure you of that.”

“I know you will,” Cathy said. “And I’m going to come see you too, especially now that I’m feeling better.”

It was such a huge relief still, knowing Cathy was well again. She had believed in me thoroughly, but, while I had been confident of my skills, I had been stressed until the cure was made.

“But what about Lucian?” Cathy asked. “Are you certain you made the right choice with him?”

“I made the only choice,” I said. “Being Luna is a full time job.”

“But you love him.”

I didn’t deny it. “I love my career too.” I hated having to choose, but my career saved lives. I couldn’t be selfish, not when it was also my dream. “I wish I could have both Lucian and my career, but I just don’t see how that’s possible. Not as long as he is Alpha.”

Jasper’s POV

I had been too cowardly to see Aria again, not since she rejected me. Though we had spoken a few times on the phone, those conversations had been somewhat stilted – mostly because of me.

My feelings continued to catch me off-guard. I was willing to accept Aria’s rejection, but it still stung.

Therefore, Cathy had been the one mostly keeping me in the loop. I had even gone to see her alone a few times, to see how she was feeling after Aria had found that cure.

It was during one of those visits that I had learned Lucian had asked Aria to marry him again, and Aria had turned him down.

“But she loves him,” I had said to Cathy then. I was certain of it, since that was the main reason she had rejected me.

“They want different futures,” Cathy had replied. “Aria wants to return to being a healer in Moonglow. Lucian wants her to stay here and be his Luna. A king can’t exactly pick up everything and move to a different pack.”

She had said that, but even then I didn’t understand why not. If Aria had chosen me, I would have moved heaven and earth to be with her.

Lucian, it seemed, was unwilling to make the same commitments. Yet he claimed to love her.

Now, I sat in my office at the Alpha headquarters, stewing in my own annoyance and upset. Aria had clearly chosen the wrong cousin, but I understood better than most that the heart wanted what it wanted.

It was a shame for them both, and also for me and the relationship I could have had with Aria, that Lucian was such a gods-damned disappointment.

Perhaps I should have gone to the gym after work, or found another way to work through my growing rage.

Instead, it festered and swelled inside of me.

So when I saw Lucian come off the elevator, the only thing I could think to do was rise from my desk, exit my office, and confront him.

“Jasper?” he asked.

Without a word, I punched him straight in the face.