Chapter 69

Aria’s POV

“No,” Lucian said quickly.

I ignored the flash of relief that surged through me. Foolish heart, foolish feelings. Lucian and I had broken our bond. What did it matter now who he decided to have his future children with?

Subtly, I placed my hand over my growing belly.

However, Sheila just laughed. “Always playing hard to get, Lucian. I know you want children. You don’t have to be stubborn with me, not with everything we’ve shared.”

At that moment, hoping to end this horrible conversation, I jabbed Sheila with the needle and injected the formula.

She yelped, glaring at me. As angry as I had been, however, I hadn’t pricked her any rougher than I would have anyone else. She was likely still looking for reasons to hate me, even while I was here, solving her self-inflicted problem.

Once the formula was fully injected, I carefully removed the needle, then covered the pinprick in her skin with a bandage. After discarding the needle safely, I turned toward the door.

“The formula might need a few days to go through your system,” I said. “But after your next cycle, you should be able to become pregnant.”

Without waiting for a thank you, unsure I’d get one even if I did wait, I opened the door and stepped out into the hallway.

To my surprise, Lucian followed me out of the room.

“Dr. A!” he called, stopping me even as I tried to scurry along, hoping to avoid him. Sighing, I turned to face him.

“What is it?” I wasn’t trying to be unkind. Dr. A would have no real reason to be angry with Lucian, even if my heart was truly still in shambles beneath my cool façade and my disguise. Yet despite my best efforts to keep things civil, hints of my icy coldness kept creeping out into my voice.

Without me in the way, Lucian had Sheila, and now they could have children. He could finally have everything he ever wanted. I was glad for them both. Truly. I’d be gladder if they could take their family joy somewhere far, far away from me.

Or if I could be the one to leave, that would be even better.

Lucian seemed startled by my coldness, but pressed on after a moment’s recovery. “I just wanted to thank you for this, for everything you’ve done. I owe you a great debt and I –”

“The only thing you owe me is the amount we agreed upon for this case,” I replied. He’d already done more than enough for Dr. A.

“Uh, of course,” Lucian said, on the back foot again.

“With the completion of this case, this concludes any business we have with each other.”

“I understand,” Lucian said. “But does this mean Sheila cannot come to you in the future. Or… I cannot? You are the best Healer I know, Dr. A. While I hope I have no need of your services with any kind of urgency, it would be a relief to know that I could call on you.”

Absolutely not.

“Sheila should arrange to find another Healer to follow-up any pregnancy concerns she might have,” I said.

“And me?” Lucian asked.

“I’m leaving the pack as soon as possible,” I said.

He straightened a little. “You… are? Are you certain? I know things haven’t always been handled in the best way, but you are something of a hero in the pack now. I can assure you that you will suffer no more ill will from any of the pack members.”

“I do not intend to linger. As soon as your money clears, I will be packing my bags and leaving.”

“But what of your child? A life on the road –”

“We’ll be fine,” I said, perhaps too harshly. I did not want to talk to Lucian about our child, even while wearing the guise of Dr. A. It was all too painful, and that damned hollow space in my chest ached, mourning the connection that had once been there.

“I didn’t mean to overstep,” Lucian hurriedly corrected.

“It’s fine.”

Lucian nodded. Then he said, “I don’t suppose there is anything I could say to convince you to reconsider?”

“No,” I said. “I’ve been dragging my feet with this choice too long already. It’s time for me to go.” Softer, I added, “I no longer have any reason to stay here.”

Lucian’s POV

I looked at Dr. A with equal parts pity and curiosity. What could have happened to make her say something so downtrodden? What kind of personal life did she lead, that she felt she had nothing left to keep her in Nightfall pack?

Regardless, I couldn’t say anything to convince her. If she wanted to leave, she could leave. With those ID’s I’d given her, she could always return if she changed her mind. I hoped she knew that path was always opened to her, though I didn’t want to press the issue right now.

Whatever was going on with her, it seemed recent, the pain fresh.

In my own way, with my own new emptiness inside of myself, I could relate.

Perhaps that was the true reason her sudden departure was striking me so difficultly.

In many ways, Dr. A reminded me of Aria. Though I had already proven there was no way they could be the same person, their similarities were striking.

I’d already lost Aria out of my life. Now I was also going to lose Dr. A as a colleague and a potential friend.

“Can I trust you to pay the fee directly?” Dr. A asked me. Despite her mask in the way, I could feel the intensity of her gaze.

“I will deposit the money directly,” I replied. “I pay my debts.”

Seemingly satisfied, she nodded. “If you will excuse me then. That concludes our business.”

“Uh, of course,” I said.

Without another word, not even a goodbye, she turned from me and walked away, back toward her office.

Watching her go, I was once more struck with the similarities between her and Aria. This moment reminded me too much of what had happened with Aria. But then, nearly every moment from then to now contained something that reminded me of Aria and what happened between us.

By partaking in the mutual rejection, I had given Aria the freedom to chase whatever life she wanted for herself. Yes, she was still my wife in name only for a moment, but in time, she would be free from that as well.

What kind of life would Aria want for herself? I imagined she would date Jasper. Or perhaps she would change her mind about Matt.

Or maybe, like Dr. A, she would leave the pack and start a new life somewhere else. As Luna, she would be too well known within these pack lands. But outside of it, she would be free to act however she wanted with whoever she wanted.

Maybe she would even change her name.

Would I ever even see her again? Or would she and Dr. A both permanently disappear from my life?

The questions weighed heavily on me, echoing in the emptiness inside of my chest.

I had done the right thing. I was sure of it.

Why then did it still feel so wrong?