Chapter 100

I’m out of my mind with worry. The nurse agrees to stay with Violet, so Miles and I split up to fully search the fair. I go to the fair security and explain what’s going on. They gather more people for the search and make announcements for Iris to meet me at the lost and found.

She never shows. No one sees her.

Things move in a blur after that. I call Garnar, but I don’t remember what’s said. I only know that he arrives at some point. Instead of yelling at me though, he’s as panicked as I am. That’s how I know things are really wrong.

In between searching, I hold Violet closely.

“Mommy, what’s going on?” she asks. She’s not a fool. She can see people are upset.

“Honey,” I ask gently. “Do you have any idea where Iris might have wandered off to? When you were playing, did she say anything looked interesting or fun?”

Violet’s eyes go wide. “Iris is missing?”

“My questions, Violet. Please.”

She thinks. “No… she didn’t say anything like that…”

I don’t want to cry in front of her, wanting to be strong, but tears still well in my eyes.

Seeing that, she starts crying in earnest. “I’m sorry, Mommy.”

“Oh, honey. It’s not your fault.” I hug her again, as tight as I can without hurting her. “It’s not your fault at all.”

Garnar places his hand on her shoulder, a rare show of solidarity with me. “It’s not your fault, Violet. She probably just wandered off. We’ll find her.”

I want to be angry at Garnar. If he didn’t turn Iris against me, maybe she would have stood closer to me in the first aid tent. Maybe she would have told me where she wanted to go and asked permission. Maybe she wouldn’t be missing.

But how can I be mad at him without being even angrier at myself? I’m the one who lost track of her for a moment. It was on my watch that she disappeared.

I hate Garnar, but I hate myself even more.

God, please bring my baby home safe.

Esther’s oldest daughter is missing, and Miles is on a mission to bring her back. With so many eyes searching the fair, for her not to be immediately found either means she’s exceedingly good at hiding, or she isn’t on the fairgrounds at all.

She could have walked down to the stores near the street, but someone likely would have seen her going that way. For her to disappear into thin air like this likely means she ran into the forest instead.

Miles move with purpose, walking along the edge of trees for a suitable walking path. He’s not a tracker by any means but an 11 year old girl likely would leave a trail.

There. A snapped branch. As good a lead as any.

Miles steps into the forest, quietly following the trail. He doesn’t want to alarm Iris and make her run farther. But he also doesn’t want to be so quiet that Iris will think him a dangerous animal or person.

Eventually, the brush thins some and through the sparse branches and leaves, he spots the familiar bright purple shirt Iris was earlier wearing.

“Iris?” he calls.

There’s a shuffle in the brush. Her head lifts and he sees her blonde hair.

Exhaling a breath of relief, Miles moves around the tree so that he can see Iris fully.

She’s sitting with her butt in the mud, her back up against the trunk of a tree. Her knees are up to her chin, her arms wrapped around them.

Her eyes are red, with tear tracks making damp lines down her face.

“Are you hurt?” Miles asks her.

She shakes her head.

Miles relaxes further. “Everyone’s looking for you,” he says, keeping his tone light and friendly. “Wouldn’t you like to go back to the fair?”

She shakes her head again.

“Your father is there,” Miles says, in case she’s refusing just because of her current dispute with her mother. Miles doesn’t like Garnar by far, but getting Iris to safety is his top priority at the moment, even if that safety is also where Garnar is.

Iris shrinks into herself, more firmly holding her knees. “I don’t want to go back.”

Not knowing what else to do, Miles nods. “Is it okay if I stay here with you for a little while then? I’m not ready to go back either.”

Iris glances away and shrugs. She mustn’t care. Good.

Miles takes a spot and sits beside her at the base of the tree. While her head is turned away, he subtly brings out his cell phone and sends a quick text to Esther, telling her to look for the broken tree limb at the edge of the forest and follow it due east.

With that sent off, he turns his focus fully to Iris.

Poor kid, she’s going through a lot. Hormonal changes, for one. Her parents’ divorce, for another, which is only made worse by the fact that her father is an absolute scumbag. Not that he can say that to her.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Miles asks her.

If she wants to just sit here in silence, he’s okay with that too. His phone is buzzing under his hand. He’s sure Esther and Garnar and the rest of the rescue team is on their way.

“Mom and Dad hate each other,” Iris says.

Her voice is soft, Miles has to strain to hear her. He does, though, knowing he is confiding in him. It’s hard for anyone to talk about this stuff, especially kids. Iris is Esther’s kid. He wants to be someone they both can trust.

So he sits still and listens as hard as he can. He’ll be here as a confidant for Iris, and for Violet, and for Esther. Now and for as long as their little family will have him.

“They’re getting divorced,” Iris says, a bit louder.

“I’ve heard,” Miles says. “Your mom and I are friends. I know she’s been… unhappy… with how things are…”

Iris sniffs. “Dad’s cheating.”

“I heard that too,” Miles says. Glancing at Iris, he takes a chance and asks, “Is that why you are so mad at your mom?”

“What? No,” Iris scoffs with that decidedly pre-teen attitude. “It’s not her fault dad cheats.”

“Then…?”

“My family is falling apart,” Iris says. “Everyone hates each other. I just want things to go back to how they were before.”

“Ah,” Miles says. Leaning back against the tree, he makes himself more comfortable. “That doesn’t seem likely.”

“No…” Iris’s eyes fill with fresh tears. “I keep thinking, if they are mad at me, then maybe they will stop being mad at each other.”

Miles heart breaks for this little girl. Already 11 but still so young, so small, trembling alone in the forest, hating the way her family is breaking apart.

It makes Miles remember his own past. He too was once made to feel smaller than he was.

“My parents aren’t divorced,” Miles says, “But they hate each other. Always have. And there was a time when I hated them too.”

Iris looks at me, surprised.

This definitely is not the story I use on the news or at campaign rallies. As far as the outside world is concerned, my family is perfect in every way and I had a great upbringing. The truth does not match this fiction.

“What happened?” Iris asks.

Miles doesn’t often share true stories of his youth. But with Iris, he feels compelled to share a little.

“I ran away.”