Chapter 136

“This is an unusual place to find you, Selena,” Hugo says, deflecting attention away from me.

I’m glad for this, as I’m still incredibly unnerved that Selena knows my name. I have been on the news a lot lately. Still, the way she said it, Hello, Esther, like we are old friends… It’s unnerving. She should be standoffish with me, I would think, given the possible nature of my relationship with her fiancé. Not friendly.

“I have friends in the area,” Selena says. “We go out every now and again.” She glances back to a group of women sitting at a table. They seem like a friendly bunch, laughing and talking together.

Unlike other high society types that seem to hang around with only their own, Selena has branched out. She’s made and kept friendships with people outside her own class.

Another reason she is a good person.

And another reason to hate myself for sleeping with Miles after the engagement.

“You two know each other?” I ask Hugo. He considers me, suddenly very interested in my face. “We’ve met each other a few times. We tend to run in similar circles.”

“More than I previously thought,” Selena says with a laugh, “for us to meet here as well.”

Hugo nods. “We all have to step out of the bright lights of the city now and again.”

“Isn’t that the truth?” Selena says. “If you let it, that town will consume you.”

That I can agree with wholeheartedly, but I keep my mouth shut, not wanting to divert any attention from their conversation onto myself.

Even so, Selena looks at me again like I did contribute to the conversation somehow. Her eyes are bright and her smile welcoming and kind. It hurts to look at so I look away.

“Esther, it’s fortunate for us to meet like this,” Selena says. “I’ve been hoping that you and I would have a chance to chat.”

The only thing she could possibly want to chat about with me is Miles. Maybe she believes what he publically said about us being friends. How could I possibly lie straight to her face?

Would I even be able to?

Grabbing onto Hugo, I give him a desperate glance. “I’m sorry, but Hugo and I are in a bit of a hurry.”

Hugo quickly catches the message I was trying to send. “Yes… Many apologies, Selena. We do have to be on our way, or we’ll be late. Next time, perhaps?”

Selena’s face falls somewhat, her brightness fading with disappointment. “Well, I won’t hold you up. Though, I hope… Yes, next time, Esther. I insist.”

“Yes,” I tell her, praying that next time never comes. “If you’ll excuse us. It was nice to meet you Selena…”

“Of course…” Selena starts to back up.

“Have a good night, Selena,” Hugo tells her.

Once all niceties are said, Hugo and I head out the door. We don’t speak again until we are safely back in the car.

“I wasn’t expecting to see Selena all the way out here…” Hugo begins, bringing the topic forward for discussion.

“What could she possibly want to talk to me about?” I ask. “Miles and I aren’t talking anymore. What else could matter to her?”

“I’m not sure,” Hugo says. “She could be curious about the kind of relationship you had, especially if Miles has lingering feelings…”

“Lingering feelings shouldn’t matter,” I say. “Miles and Selena are together, and that is that.”

Miles tried to tell me once that he and Selena had an understanding, that their relationship was only for show. I didn’t believe him then, and I’m still not convinced.

Any woman who is with Miles should want his full heart.

“I’m not talking to him anymore. I’m moving on with my life,” I say. “Hopefully that she saw us together tonight tells her all she needs to know.”

Hugo hums, not quite agreeing, but not disagreeing either.

Maybe it hurts him to talk about Miles and I like this. I probably should stop. Whatever venting I need to do, I can do with someone who isn’t the man I’m actively trying to date.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “We were having a good night, and this…” I feel defeated.

“Hey,” he says, glancing over at me. “We are still having a good time. Running into Selena doesn’t change that. Nor does this conversation.”

I exhale a heavy breath, feeling some weight lift off of my chest. Sometimes I really feel in over my head with everything. Seeing Selena tonight made me feel like I was drowning.

I’m so fortunate to have Hugo, a good man, on my side.

“Thank you,” I tell him, not just meaning for his words but for everything that has happened tonight.

“Truly, Esther. It’s been my pleasure.”

Putting the car in reverse, he backs out of the parking spot, and then drives me home.

“Goodnight,” I say at my doorway. A gentleman, he walked me to my door.

I was nervous at first, thinking he might want a kiss. But he seems genuine with his promise to go slow.

“Goodnight,” he tells me. He steps back, but waits for me to open the door. When I do, he turns and heads back to his car.

Closing the door behind myself and locking the rest of the world away, I wish I could feel better about the date we had tonight. The Selena situation aside, it was a perfectly nice evening.

But since Selena approached us, she’s all I can think about. All I can worry about.

The guilt filling my chest makes it hard to breathe.

Maybe Miles and I aren’t talking now, but that doesn’t mean that we hadn’t since their engagement. We still met that night at the library. We still had passionate sex, even after that engagement ring was on Selena’s finger.

I shouldn’t make things worse for Miles, if he hadn’t told her. But Miles isn’t like Garnar… Surely he would have come clean.

But if Selena knows, why would she want to talk to me now? And so earnestly?

It doesn’t make sense. Trying to puzzle it together keeps me awake long into the night. I barely find any sleep at all.

The next morning, the guilt widens even farther, crushing.

I can’t live like this. I need to talk to her.

I wait until it’s a reasonable hour, then I text Hugo.

I think I do need to talk to Selena. Do you have her number?

Hugo’s reply is quick enough for me to know he has been awake for a while.

I thought you might reach that conclusion.

He sends a text with a phone number.

I shower and change like I’m going to work. I don’t know what this phone call is going to be like, and I want to have my game face on, not be caught unawares in my comfortable pajamas.

I sit at my kitchen table, with my phone before me on the wood. Then, taking a shaky breath, I unlock my phone and dial the number.

“Hello?” Selena’s voice answers after a few rings.

“Hi, Selena. It’s Esther Owens…”

“Oh! Esther!” Selena’s voice brightens at once.

“I hope it’s okay that I called,” I say. “I got your number from Hugo. After last night, I felt bad for rushing off like that.”

“It’s okay,” Selena says kindly. “I understand it can be difficult, seeing and talking to me. I could have approached the situation better.”

She… understood…?

I’m not sure what to say to that. As I’m trying to figure it out, she continues.

“I only wanted to tell you, Esther, how absolutely miserable Miles is without you.”