Chapter 164

As the primary election day draws nearer, Miles and I return to DC to help prepare for the big day. At the office, the vibe in the office is tense. Even I feel filled with uneasy nerves.

This is the first real hurdle in Miles’s campaign. We have a lot of support but there’s no guarantee. If Miles does not win this election, then his dreams of the white house end here. He needs the backing of one of the two parties to have any real chance at winning.

“What’s wrong with everyone?” Miles says as he enters the office and sees everyone nervously standing about. “Big days, these next few. I want to see smiles and positive attitudes.”

“But…” one of the volunteers starts, then abruptly stops herself.

Miles, patience incarnate, walks over to her. “What is it? You can speak your mind here. That goes for everyone.” He spins around, making sure that everyone in the room knows he’s being genuine. “I trust you all with my campaign. If you have any doubts, I would know them so that we can face them together.”

“It’s not a doubt,” says the volunteer. “It’s more… what more can we do?”

Miles smiles at her. It’s stunning, at full wattage. “Vote,” he says. “Convince everyone you know to get out and vote. Even if they aren’t voting for me, this is democracy in action, my friends. One of the things that makes this country great.”

The other volunteers start to smile. Some even clap.

Pride fills me, watching Miles and the way he lifts others up. He knows we have every real chance of losing this election, yet he still finds the silver lining.

His love for his country is inspiring. Even if I didn’t suspect I might be in love with him, even if I didn’t know him at all, I would still vote for him based not just on his platform, but also his enthusiasm. For life. For this country. For a bright future.

Miles turns and winks at me, and my entire heart melts.

I can’t believe that I’m the woman he’s chosen to stand beside him in these moments. We’re unlikely to last forever, but to be here, now, feels like I’m taking part in a slice of history.

Miles is going to go far. It’s been an absolute pleasure getting to know him for at least part of his ride.

My thoughts turn melancholy, thinking of the possible end, but I push that to the back of my mind.

For now, I need to live for today.

At lunchtime, I duck out to visit my sister in the hospital. I haven’t had any updates from Mom and Dad in a while and I’m starting to worry.

Yet when I get to the room I know to be hers, I find it empty.

A nurse is walking by. I stop her, recognizing her from her tending to my sister.

“Where is Thea?” I ask, gesturing to the empty room.

“Oh.” Confusion crosses her face for a moment, making worry swell inside of me, but then she says, “She went home a week ago. Didn’t your parents tell you?”

So the nurse’s confusion was for me.

“No,” I say, but then try to laugh it off when I see pity in the nurse’s eyes. “I’m sure they were so busy. I’ve been working too, so they might not have wanted to worry me. I’m sure our connectors got crossed, you know?”

Stop, I tell myself. The more excuses you make, the worse this looks for you.

“Right. Well. I better go home and check on her.” I’m embarrassed. I start laughing.

The nurse’s look of pity only doubles. “Give Thea our hopes and prayers for a continued, speedy recovery.”

“Right. Of course.”

As I hurry back down the hall, humiliated, I try to convince myself that I won’t be cringing about this encounter for the rest of my life. Somehow, I don’t quite convince myself.

I drive to my parents’ house. Before I even finish parking in their wraparound driveway, I see them peeking through the curtains. That’s strange.

Maybe I should have called first, but usually they don’t mind if I pop by for a quick visit. I can’t imagine they wouldn’t think I would come visit Thea now that I’m back in town.

Yet, a sense of wrong sits in the back of my mind, and I can’t seem to silence it.

Stepping out of my car, I head toward the front door and ring the doorbell.

I expect Davis to answer, as usual. Instead, Mom’s the one who opens the door, wearing a sour look.

“What are you doing here, Esther?” she asks.

“I texted you, to tell you I was back in town,” I say. Surely she should have guessed that I’d stop by.

“You should have told us you planned to come here.”

“I only plan on popping in for a minute to check on Thea. I don’t plan on staying very long.” I don’t want her to think I expect lunch or dinner or anything of the sort like that. She doesn’t have to go to any fuss. I just want to see Thea.

“If you texted me, I would have saved you the drive.”

That sense of wrong increases tenfold, and a sense of fear grips at my heart. “Why? Is Thea okay?”

“She’s fine,” Mom says.

I watch her closely, looking for her lying tells that I know fairly well. In this, she appears to be genuine.

That eases some of my fear, but doesn’t decrease the mystery of what’s happening here right now.

“Then what’s going on?” I press, when it seems like Mom really isn’t going to say anymore.

“You can’t see her, Esther. I won’t allow it.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You will only upset her.”

I still don’t understand. “Last time we talked, we were doing well. We connected more than we have in years. That can’t have just… changed…”

Mom, glancing behind her inside the house, steps further outside and closes the door behind her.

“I know you mean well, Esther, which is why I’m not angry.”

She kind of seems angry, but I don’t point that out.

“But Thea’s father and I have an obligation to protect her to the best of our ability. We’ve failed that in the past, but we will not fail again.”

With a stabbing pain, I realized how she called she and Dad Thea’s parents, not mine.

Once more, the crevice that so often separates me from my own family opens up like a chasm, and I feel like an observer looking in.

Thea’s parents will protect her.

They don’t need me. Thea doesn’t need me.

Funny, the line between need and want seems blurred here.

Maybe Thea doesn’t need to see me, but I need to see her. “The last time I saw her, she was lying in a hospital bed…” I say.

“She’s moving around fine. But she’s fragile.”

“But, Mom…” I don’t know what to say to convince her. In battles over Thea, I was always on the losing end. Why should that change now? Why should I remain anything more than a stranger?

“Go home, Esther. Go about your life as always. When it’s time for you to see her again, I’ll let you know.”

What could I do? What could I say?

To Mom… To Dad… And to Thea…

I’m the outsider.