Chapter 186

The rage I’ve been repressing since talking to Rachel on the phone comes bursting out of me, and before I really know what I’m doing, I’m opening the door to Miles’s office and stepping inside.

I realize only after I closed the door that I didn’t knock. The rudeness of it makes me freeze.

Miles sits behind his desk, working on something on his laptop. Right now, he’s paused though, looking at me with amusement in his eyes. “Something you need, Esther?”

“Sorry,” I tell him, flushing red with embarrassment.

“Don’t be,” he replies with a smile. “I’m always ready for you to barge into my office. Do we need another debate practice session?”

My blush spreads, heat traveling down my neck. When I glance at the desk he’s sitting behind, the very same desk that I had been stretched out over as he –

No. I can’t let myself get distracted right now. I need to focus.

Pulling myself together, I walk to the desk and hand Miles the list of Edward’s biggest donors.

“What’s this?” he asks, then he reads it for himself at the top of the page. “Ah. Something interesting?”

I point at Perens.

“As in the candy company?” Miles asks me.

“As in Rachel, Garnar’s new fiancé.”

Miles frowns. I’ve shared some of what happened this weekend with him already, including what the girls said and how Rachel reacted.

Miles doesn’t come over while the girls are there, but we’ve still all gone out together a number of times. He and my daughters have a fairly good relationship. Iris likes him a lot. Violet likes everyone.

So it doesn’t surprise me to see anger start to form on his face, reflecting much of what I feel inside of my heart. It does feel me with a touch of happiness, though. Not that my girls are being mistreated, but that Miles is with me in sharing the rage about it.

I know we don’t have a future. But if we did, that’s the type of quality I would look for in a permanent partner. As a single mother, I’m a package deal. I come with kids. That’s all there is. And if my kids don’t like you, or you don’t like them, that’s the end of that.

If only Garnar could feel the same, for the girls’ sake.

Miles face grows grim. “You don’t think she would take the girls to an event with Edward… do you?” he asks me.

My blood runs cold.

For the rest of the day, I call Garnar, again and again, but each time it goes straight to voicemail, but then it won’t let me leave a message. It doesn’t seem like he’s ignoring me. It feels more like I’m outright blocked.

I don’t know if Garnar blocked me, or if Rachel did. And at this point, I don’t care. He’s supposed to pick the girls up from school, and I still haven’t been able to talk to him. Now that I know Rachel might bring my daughters to an event where Edward is makes everything more and more urgent.

By the end of the day, I’m a nervous wreck.

“I have to go over there,” I tell Miles. We have an event tonight. I was supposed to be at his side. “I’m sorry…”

“Do you need me to go with you?” he asks with no hesitation. God, I love him. He’d drop everything for me.

“No,” I tell him. I can’t have him miss any more events because of me. Besides, having him there when I’m trying to speak to Garnar would only make everything worse. Garnar hates Miles, and blames him for our divorce somehow, like Garnar wasn’t the one who cheated. “If you are there, Garnar won’t talk to me.”

Miles presses his lips hard together but doesn’t argue. “I’ll have my phone on me. Call if you need me, and I will be there.”

I believe him. That helps give me strength, as later, I race through the city streets back to our sleepy suburban neighborhood. I drive straight by my own house, going deeper until I see Garnar’s house.

There are a lot of cars lined up outside of his house. A full dozen more than usual, at least, taking most of the parking in the street.

Are they having a party? Surely they won’t mind one more, then.

I park diagonally across the driveway, blocking in three different cars. I don’t care. I’m not planning on staying long.

With a fire in my step, I walk down the driveway and up to the door. I ring the bell, and the door opens, revealing a tough-looking man in a suit. He has an earpiece. I don’t recognize him at all.

“Who are you?” he asks.

“I’m Esther Owens. I need to talk to Garnar.”

“How do you know Garnar?” he asks.

Why am I being interrogated? “He’s my ex. I want to talk about our kids.”

“Now isn’t a good time,” the man says and starts to close the door. Oh hell no! I didn’t worry all day just to continue to be ignored. I stick my foot in the door before he can close it. He looks down at my foot, then up at me. “You really don’t want to do this, ma’am. I’m within my rights to shoot you.”

“Shoot me? For what?” I gasp.

“Are we short one dinner guest?” says a man’s voice from inside the house.

A voice that makes me go cold. That’s Edward’s voice.

Edward is here, in Garnar’s house. Where my daughters are.

My fight or flight instinct flares to life inside of me. Yet where I would usually run. Right now, all I want to do is fight.

I shove at the door. “Iris! Violet! I need my daughters!”

“What the fuck?” cries the man at the door. He’s reaching for the gun.

“Esther? What the hell are you doing here?” Garnar shouts, coming closer. “No. Don’t shoot her. That’s my ex.”

I have Garnar to thank, I guess, for not being killed. But that doesn’t excuse him keeping the girls in the same house as a monster.

“Where are Iris and Violet?” I demand.

“They’re in their rooms,” he says.

“They aren’t at the party?”

“No. Rachel doesn’t like children to bother the guests.”

“You should have called me. They can stay with me.”

Garnar gives me a strange look.

“Let her do it,” Rachel says from just inside. “We could use more alone time.”

Garnar seems conflicted, but ultimately agreed. “Stay here. I will get them.”

Garnar disappears back into the house. When he does, the guard fills the open door once more. This time, his hand stays on the weapon on his side.

“The man said stay here.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I tell him.

The guard and I stare at each other. My heart is pounding so loudly, I hear it in my ears. I count each second until I hear the patter of my daughters coming down the stairs.

Suddenly, the door opens wider and the girls rush through. Behind them, in the hallway, watching everything unfold, stands Edward. He glances over at me and our eyes lock.

In a flash, I am that little girl frightened and alone, trapped in an adult world I don’t understand.

“Mom?” Iris asks.

In another flash, I am back on the stoop of Garnar’s house.

Startled, I look away from the door, grab each of my girls by the hand, and run all the way back to the car.