Chapter 207

“I’m not sure it’s necessary to come forward, despite what Mr. Anders says,” Esther says.

Miles freezes. Esther is a very private person, so he thought she might feel this way. Yet it still hurts in his chest to hear her say the words.

He has no shame regarding his relationship with Esther. He’d kept it private in the past to protect them both, but now that it seems he would better protect her by coming forward, he’s ready to do so.

His desperation to win this election has become overwhelming. No matter what, he cannot allow Esther’s abuser to take control of the country. For Esther’s sake, as he’ll constantly harass her with no way of facing consequences. But also for the sake of the entire nation.

If Edward would abuse his power to torment his victims, why believe there would be any line he wouldn’t cross?

Failure is not an option here.

But if Esther isn’t ready to come forward with her relationship to Miles… It hurts, but Miles will understand.

He’s already waited a very long time to be with Esther. He can wait a little longer to make things official.

At least that’s what he’s thinking – until he sees the absolutely heartbroken look on her face.

“Esther? What’s wrong?”

She can talk to him about anything. She should know that. He doesn’t believe that he’s ever given her any reason to doubt.

Still, with the way she’s looking at him right now, he isn’t sure what to think. Why would she look so sad? The question is about whether or not to go public with our relationship, not if that relationship should exist in the first place. She has no reason to look this downtrodden.

“We shouldn’t kid ourselves, Miles. Coming forward about this… whatever this is… might give you a temporary boost for now, but eventually, when the real truth comes out, it will only hurt you again,” she says.

What ‘real truth?’ What is she talking about? “I don’t know what you mean,” Miles says.

Dropping her gaze away from mine, she lifts her arms and then flops them back down at her sides. “Whatever we are, it’s temporary, Miles. We both know that.”

Do they? That was the first Miles was hearing of it.

Hadn’t he made clear his desire to keep Esther at his side? Did he miscommunicate the depth of his affections somewhere along the way?

Or… no. God.

Could it simply be that Esther did not return his feelings? She enjoys him, that much is clear. They spend a lot of time together, both in and out of the bedroom. But perhaps she simply does not see him as a viable romance candidate.

Why?

Is it his age? His position? Does she not want to be the First Lady, when he does win the presidency?

He has a thousand questions, none of which he actually wants to ask. Any one of these answers has a chance at breaking him, and he needs to be strong.

Even if Esther doesn’t want to be with him, he needs to make sure that he succeeds, wins the election, and protects her from Edward Zimmer.

It absolutely guts him, knowing Esther doesn’t return his feelings.

He wants her forever, but he supposes he has to settle for right now.

Miles turns away from her, to look back out the window.

Does she not understand that he loves her with the entirety of his heart? Or does that simply not matter to her?

“I’ll go,” Esther says, and Miles makes no moves to stop her, not in words or in actions. He simply stares out the window at the swaying trees, listening to the sound of her footsteps leading her away from him.

“Has he ever actually said what he wants for the future of your relationship?” Cynthia asks later. The kids are at Garnar’s tonight. After everything that’s happened, I’m ready to blow off steam, and to do that, I need to go out. Now.

Cynthia is always ready for anything, so after a quick phone call, we are both standing outside of a club, waiting to get in. Cynthia’s certain her connections will get us through the door, but due to fire code safety, we physically cannot enter until two other people leave.

This leaves us standing outside the door in our short skirts, shivering.

“He doesn’t have to say. He’s 25, Cynthia. I’m in my thirties. I already have kids… He’s going to be president. Why in the world would he tie himself down to someone like me?”

Cynthia gives me a flat look. “You don’t think that maybe you are projecting? Slightly?”

“I’m not…”

“Esther. Miles likes you. It’s clear as day. He goes out of his way to look out for you, he’s quick to jump to your defense. He’s always there when you call him – always. When you guys stopped talking, you were both wrecks. You honestly believe that he doesn’t want to long term be with you?”

I shake my head. “It just doesn’t make sense. He could do so much better.”

Cynthia takes me by the shoulders and looks me in the eyes. “There is no one better than you. Period. End of story. That’s all there is.”

“It doesn’t matter. I said my piece, I pushed him away, and now that’s all there is.”

Sighing, Cynthia lets her hands drop away from me. “You know what would solve this? Asking him what he wants. Don’t assume. Just ask.”

Like that would be so easy. No, I have to assume, to protect myself. Because the alternative, to actually hear the words come out of Miles’s mouth that he doesn’t want me… It would break me down to my core. I don’t think I could recover.

No, it’s better this way. I’ll put the distance between us. Then, when the breakup ultimately happens, it won’t hurt as much.

I hope.

“Sure he’s hot,” says a woman behind us in the line. “But he seems like a real asshole. Did you see the clip of the debate? He told Edward Zimmer to go fuck himself. Zimmer is basically a saint, so Hamilton must be a real piece of garbage.”

My ears twitch.

Cynthia gives me a warning glance.

“He’s hot though,” says the girl’s friend.

“I said he was hot,” says the first girl. “But that’s part of the problem too, isn’t it? The hot ones are always trouble. He probably kicks babies or something… Or maybe he hits women or something.”

Excuse me?

That’s some baseless accusations there.

“Esther, let it go,” Cynthia says. “Those girls are drunk.”

Maybe they are. Maybe sober they would know better than to throw around such harmful, baseless accusations that could totally destroy a man’s reputation.

“Are you guys talking about Miles Hamilton?” says a third girl, joining the other pair. “I heard he’s a prick.”

As far as insults go, this one isn’t even very bad. Miles can be a prick sometimes.

But he’s also the man I love.

So hearing these girls talk about him sets me off. Before I can stop myself, I’m storming to the group and opening my big mouth.

“Miles Hamilton is the greatest man to ever walk the face of this planet, and for you to stand here and insult someone that you don’t even know is an insult to him and to all of us. You are embarrassing yourselves, talking about things you don’t know about.”

The trio of girls look at me with wide eyes.

“Okay, lady…” says one of them.

Meanwhile, in the corner of my eye, I catch sight of a cell phone turned my direction. Someone recorded my entire outburst.