Chapter 34

Miles holds my hand so tenderly that I want to push into him harder, just to feel him grasp at my skin again. How often I think of our night together. It invades my thoughts at every available moment. Whenever I’m alone, the memories flood through my mind on a loop, even after I satisfy myself.

To be this close to Miles again, alone as we are, sends wants and desires shooting through my body.

But this is the country club, my place of employment. We can’t touch like this. We can’t even be seen like this, else it would surely bring a scandal down on us both. A scandal like that could ruin my reputation and my potential job at Hugo’s news network. It could also ruin Miles’s entire political career.

Neither of us can afford that.

Slowly, with regret, I pull my hand back, away from Miles’s touch – both from his skin and his lips. He doesn’t hold onto me, releasing me as I move. When I’m free of him, he rights himself, standing upright once more.

The air between us feels different now than when we first entered. Even though we’re no longer touching, everything still feels charged somehow, like static electricity could zip between us at any moment.

I realize, somewhat belatedly, that I’m not in the free and clear yet. With one word, I’m certain I can have Miles bend me over one of these sinks or push me up against the walls. I’d claw at his shoulders and he’d suck fresh marks into my neck.

It would be fast and messy and glorious…

And I need to stop having these thoughts!

I can’t trust myself around Miles, not even if we are just standing facing each other, not touching!

It’s out of self-preservation that I let my own anger rise. I hate my inability to control myself around him. I am a woman in her mid-thirties, not some teenager! My hormones should not be zipping around like this.

I channel my anger into my words. “You have to stay away from me. Please.” The please is an afterthought. I hope it doesn’t detract. The first part is the most important, the clearest. Miles is a distraction I can’t afford to have in my life. Neither of us can.

Miles’s brow crinkles in confusion. “This is what I get for saving you, time and time again? Stay away from you? Esther, if I stayed away from you today, those guys would have beat you into the hospital or worse…” His hands curl into fists. “Staying away from you sounds like the last thing I should do.”

I lift my chin. “I appreciate your rescue and your concern, but I cannot imagine either will be necessary from here on out.”

“You think Hugo would have stepped in? He can’t even touch you,” Miles spits out, his words venomous. Jealous.

“Hugo doesn’t have anything to do with this,” I say. “This is about you and me.”

Miles inches closer again. “You keep fighting your feelings for me. Your desires. You don’t have to, Esther. I want to fuck you again.”

The harsh words make me squeeze my thighs together, seeking friction.

No. This is exactly my problem! Everything he does has me on edge, acting like someone I’m not!

I am Esther Graham, mother of two, a woman of distinction, a homemaker! I am not a lady of the evening, despite everything that happened that night between Miles and me.

“Our time together was a one-night thing,” I tell him. I pleased with the way my voice doesn’t shake, even as the rest of me seems to. “I’m asking you, as nicely as I can, to please leave me alone, Miles.”

Miles stills. Taking in the sight of me, he must see my trembling. He must misunderstand and think it’s in fear of him, because in the next moment, he looks stricken and steps backwards.

“Be damned sure this is what you want, Ester,” Miles says. “Because once I walk out that door, there’s no coming back.”

“I’m sure,” I say, even though I’m not. At all.

Miles looks at me a long moment, like he can see right through me, but when I don’t speak again, he sighs and heads toward the door.

When he’s gone, I stand alone in the bathroom for a long moment, wondering if I’ve just made the worst mistake of my life.

After a long day, I eagerly head back to the house to spend time with the children, yet when I walk inside and call for them, they don’t answer. Instead, Garnar walks out from his study carrying a piece of paper. My sister is nowhere in sight. Odd for her not to be his little shadow.

“Where are the girls?” I ask him. They are the only reason I still come by the house and we both know it.

“They are at a friend’s house tonight,” Garnar says.

“You could have told me,” I say with a sigh. I check my phone. No messages.

“I’m not your secretary,” Garnar snaps. “It shouldn’t be my responsibility to update you on your own children.”

They are our children, I want to remind him. And since I’m not in the house right now, the least he could do is keep me informed.

Garnar’s never been someone who has believed in fairness though, I’m beginning to see. And he’s certainly never cared about me.

But fighting with Garnar about this or anything is futile. He’s pig-headed and stubborn. I doubt he’d ever listen to anything a woman has to say. Only someone with more power than him could force him into silence, but even then, he wouldn’t take any lessons to heart.

“If they aren’t here, I’ll be going,” I say and do a 180, headed back toward the door.

“Esther, wait,” Garnar says.

I stop, but mostly because I’m shocked the words came out of his mouth. I glance back at him.

He walks toward me and holds out what he’s holding. It’s a letter. Even though it’s addressed to me, it’s already been opened.

“Explain this,” Garnar says, his lips twisting into a frown.

I take the letter and read through it quickly. It’s an official offer of employment from Harbinger News Network. God, Hugo moves fast. He must have called someone as soon as he walked off the golf course, for it to already have been delivered here.

There’s no stamp on the envelope. Hugo must have had it hand delivered.

“What the hell is that?” Garnar says sharply.

“A job offer,” I say.

“I can see that. Why the hell is it addressed to you?”

“Because it’s for me.”

Garnar takes an angry step toward me. “Harbinger News Network hands you a job, just like that?”

“I met Hugo Harbinger and he was impressed with me,” I say. “I don’t know what more you want me to say. Also, I don’t remember this being any of your business.”

“Of course it’s my business if my wife prostitutes herself around.” He crosses his arms.

My stomach churns vilely. “Excuse me?”

“Admit it,” Garnar says. “You only got this job offer because you spread your legs for the boss.”