Chapter 35

“Excuse me?” I gasp, too stunned for more words.

“There isn’t a chance in hell you legitimately earned that job, my slut of a wife,” Garnar says, spitting each word with vicious vitriol. “With that 10 year gap in your resume, I’m surprised they even hired you at the country club. All you really know how to do is scrub floors.”

That is an insult to homemakers everywhere. We do a hell of a lot more than scrub floors, thank you very much. Although the large gap in my resume was something that would likely need more explanation, what an asshole of a husband I have for jumping to the worst conclusion possible.

But my argument is tricky. I couldn’t tell Garnar that I earned the job exactly, when Hugo rewarded it to me as a prize for beating his score in golf.

I didn’t sleep with Hugo, but my way of getting this job wasn’t entirely merit based. Though, that being said, I believe wholeheartedly that Hugo would have found a way to back out if he didn’t think me capable.

And I am capable. I’ll prove it to him and Garnar and anyone else who doubts me soon enough.

“You don’t have anything to say for yourself?” Garnar pushes.

“I didn’t sleep with Hugo,” I say.

“A denial isn’t good enough,” Garnar says. “I want proof.”

Proof? What kind of possible proof…? No, absolutely not. This is asinine. An adulterer wants to come after me for proof? “Get bent, Garnar. I don’t need to prove anything to you.”

“So that’s how it is then? I drop you and you go selling yourself out for favors? Don’t you have any sense of decency, Esther? Don’t you realize what this will do for my reputation when this gets out?”

“Your reputation?” I can’t help but laugh, as angry as I am.

I shouldn’t take the obvious rage bait, but oh, everything he’s saying is making my blood boil. I’m so tired of his accusations and his words sharpened into barbs just to hurt me!

“You are the one taking my sister to events filled with mutual friends and parading her around as your date! Whatever stain has tainted your reputation is purely your own doing!”

Garnar points his finger at me. “Everyone knows you are a slut, Piper. Even the kids can see it –”

“Bullshit! What lies have you been telling them, Garnar?” How dare he involve our innocent children in all of this!

“They deserve to know the truth about their slut mother. Just how many lovers have you acquired, Esther? Trying to relive the glory days, back before you were used up and men still wanted you. You think they want you now? They pity you. They see an easy fuck and they take it.”

“None of that is true.”

“They look at you and they see an old cow, just like I do. But they feel so bad for you, they still give you the dick. And it seems…” He motions toward the job offer letter. “The sex must be so bad they feel worse still, and give you a job.”

“Fuck you, Garnar,” I say, my insides all twisted up in anger and hurt. I don’t want to let his words get to me, but somehow they still pierce past my armor. After this long together, he has learned some things about me. Unfortunately, the only knowledge he’s kept is how to hit me where it hurts.

“Struck a nerve, did I?” Garnar sneers. “Must be your guilty conscious.”

The words strike through me and I can’t stay here anymore. I clutch the letter tightly, crunching it in my hands, and turn back toward the door. Like I should have done earlier, I storm out into the driveway.

Only when I’m in my car and pulling out onto the street do I take a moment to try to calm down.

I’m a mess. Tears well under my eyes – a mixture of pain and frustration. I want to scream. I want to speed. I want to turn my car towards a tree.

I do none of those things. Instead, I drive to the local ice-cream parlor, closed now, past sunset and I park my car.

I can’t drive like this. I need to calm down.

Closing my eyes, I force myself to take several long deep breaths. I hate that I can let Garnar get to me like this. He has no right to make me feel lesser. Even if I have a hundred lovers now, I never cheated when he and I were together. For years, I committed myself firmly to him and our family, even as he was stepping out.

I’d have nothing to be ashamed of, even if I had a hundred lovers.

But I don’t.

I don’t even have one, really. I only have a single night of passion. A night I would never trade, but only one night all the same.

Oh. Maybe that’s why Garnar’s words stung so much.

Compared to Miles, I do feel like an old cow. I’m severely unworthy of having such a talented and successful lover, and one so young, who could have any woman his own age that he wanted. He could be with models or actresses. He doesn’t need an aging housewife.

But… he still wants me. Even today, in the bathroom, he offered for us to be together. For sex, not a relationship, but even that is a titillating deal. If it wasn’t so dangerous for both of our careers…

I shake my head. I can’t let Garnar get into my thoughts about this. I won’t let him tarnish the things that I felt that night with Miles. Or the things I felt again today in that bathroom when he kissed my hand…

There’s a sad song on the radio. I turn it down. I don’t realize why until I’m holding my phones in my hand. Subconsciously, I’ve been moving to make a call.

But who the hell do I want to call?

Cynthia is at her house, waiting for me. All I have to do is calm down enough to drive there.

I could call a cab if I need, since I don’t really trust myself to drive right at this moment.

But my heart knows the truth and won’t let me lie to myself.

I was never going to call Cynthia, or a cab.

There’s only one person I want to talk to right now. Only one voice who could calm me down after the accusations Garnar has thrown at me.

It doesn’t make sense. It shouldn’t.

But thinking of Miles’s deep, silky voice sends a wave of calm through me that I can’t explain.

Who else would I call? There is no one else.

I just want to talk to Miles.

I search through my contact list until I find him. Then I hit call.

As soon as the call begins ringing, I regret all of my life choices that led up to this. It’s late, Miles could be doing anything, with anyone.

I’ve also rejected him. I told him I didn’t want to see him again.

I have no right to call him.

He has every right to ignore me.

Still, after three rings, he picks up. “Esther?”