Chapter 36

There’s voices in the background behind Miles. People chatting and laughing. He sounds like he’s at some kind of party. I didn’t mean to interrupt his evening.

God, I’m the worst. Why am I even calling him? What do I hope to gain?

“One minute, I can’t hear you,” Miles says. “Let me step out onto the balcony.” He must cover his phone with his hand, because his voice suddenly sounds very far away as he says, “If you’ll excuse me for a moment.”

I listen to the idle chatter of the people around him as he walks. I don’t catch more than a few words here and there, not enough to formulate anything meaningful, but from the language used, I can tell this must be some kind of donor meetup. High society types tend to have that same patronizing laugh.

When the noise suddenly clears, I know he’s stepped out onto the balcony. “Alright, Esther,” he says. “Talk to me.”

“I shouldn’t have called,” I say at once. I’ve held it in this whole time and now it’s bubbling out of me.

“Oh, no. Not this again. I’m not buying it a second time. You wanted to talk to me and I’m here. Tell me what’s going on.”

Embarrassed as I am, I still take comfort in the sound of his voice. It’s as I thought. He’s the only person in the universe right now, other than my kids, that can take the sting out of life. But what Miles brings is so much, much different.

“Esther?”

At his pressing, I want to open up to him and tell him everything. I want to hear him put Garnar down and lift me up.

But at the same time, I don’t want anything to do with this anymore. What I really want is to just hear Miles continue talking.

“How was your day?” I ask.

Miles pauses and for a long moment, silence fills the line. “You called me… just to ask that?”

I swallow hard. He knows the truth, no doubt. He doesn’t need me to say it.

He also doesn’t need me to beg, apparently.

“It was fine enough, I suppose,” Miles says. “Far from over, though. This donor meeting goes until midnight. They hired a comedian for entertainment but he’s younger than me. I think I’m the only one in the room getting the jokes.”

As the average age of the high-paying donors I know is over 60, I imagine he’s absolutely right.

“Are they at least laughing out of curtesy?” I ask.

“No,” Miles says. “The poor guy looks like he’s having the worst night of his life. I’m going to personally double whatever pennies they are paying the guy. He’s funny. Just the wrong audience.”

“I’m sure having your support will lift his spirits.”

“I hope so. I hate to see people quit before it’s time, you know?” He leaves the question open for so long, I’m starting to wonder if he’s really talking about the comedian anymore.

“Miles…”

“I don’t know why you called, Ester. And honestly, I don’t really need to know. But you did. Whatever’s happening with you, mine was the number you dialed, and that means something.”

It does, but I’m not ready to tell him that. “Maybe… we can try being friends…” I say weakly. Even as I suggest it, I’m not so sure it will work. But if I can’t have Miles sexually, I’d rather have him anyway I can.

“That’s a terrible idea, Esther,” Miles says. “I can’t possibly be friends with someone who I want so much. Do you have any idea how difficult it is for me to be around you? I’m rock hard ninety percent of the time.”

“Shh!” I say at once, worried his donors might overhear.

“The door’s closed. I’m alone out here.”

I know enough about scandals that one should never assume they are alone. He must realize that too because his voice drops to a whisper.

“You looked so good today in those tight shorts,” Miles continues. “I wanted to slide my hand down the back of them and cup your ass.”

“Miles… please…” He needs to stop. My body is reacting too strongly.

“Where are you?” he asks.

“In my car.”

“Driving?”

“No, I stopped.”

“Good,” he says. “You can touch yourself if you want. I know how much you like my voice.” He drops his voice impossibly deeper, “Esther.”

It’s sex in a word and makes me shiver all over. God, I really do love when he says my name like that.

“Want me to tell you what I wanted to do to you in that bathroom today?” he asks, voice still low.

I press my thighs together but the friction isn’t enough.

What I should do, is tell him no. What I say instead, is, “God, yes.”

He chuckles lightly into the phone.

“I’d unbutton those tight shorts, shove them and your panties down your thighs, bend you over the sink, and fuck you until you saw stars. I’d rub that little clit of yours while I do it. I know you like that. Makes you scream.”

“Miles…” With one hand, I hold my phone tight to my ear. The other I press hard onto my thigh, trying to distract myself, trying to keep from touching.

“I wouldn’t let you cum that way, though,” Miles says. “I want to see your face when you climax. So fucking hot. Plus, I’m dying to get my mouth on your tits again. Would you like that, Esther? If I sucked on those perky little nipples of yours…”

He’s getting worked up too. I can hear it in the breathiness of his voice, and the way his voice is so growl-like now.

“If I had you in a bed, I’d spend hours just touching you there. You are so damn responsive, I wonder if I can make you cum just like that…” He pauses a minute. “Are you touching yourself, Esther? Am I making you feel good?”

“I can’t,” I whimper, when all I really want to do is slide my hand down my panties.

“Why not, baby? I know you’re hot for me.”

“It’s not… the same…”

“Ah, I see.” A smug satisfaction creeps into his voice. “You want the real thing. You won’t be happy until it’s my tongue in your mouth, or my hands holding you down, or my dick pushing inside of you…”

I moan at the thoughts of each and every one of those things. I’m so revved up, I feel like I might explode.

If Miles was actually here in front of me, I might jump him.

But he’s not. There’s too much distance. I hate every single inch.

“You can have me, Esther. You know that.”

“I know. I want… I want…” I can’t make myself say it.

“You want me.”

“Yes…” My lust is overruling all other thought processes at the moment. It’s a miracle I don’t turn into some kind of goo – or catch fire. I feel like I’m about to do both.

Miles hums.

“You can have me. Any time you want me. You just have to do one thing for me.”

“What’s that?” At this point, I think I’ll do anything.

“Leave your husband and be with me,” he says and hangs up.