Chapter 48

To distract myself from my terrible home situation, I continue to throw myself entirely into my work. I push myself to the limits, even eating at my desk to work through my lunch. I don’t take any breaks during the day, except the occasional five minutes to run to the bathroom.

Eventually, my work starts to pay off, when even Lila begins to praise my research.

“I admit I didn’t expect much from you,” Lila says. “But these research reviews you’ve been giving me are both detailed and thoughtful. I wouldn’t have thought you capable of expanding the idea in this direction.”

That’s a backhanded compliment if I ever heard one, but I keep my mouth shut. For Lila to give any compliment, even a backhanded one, feels like a victory.

Lila lowers my work down to her desk and then, leaning back in her chair, looks me over like she’s seeing me for the first time.

She seems to be waiting for something, so I say, “Thank you, ma’am.”

Lila shrugs. “You must be a workaholic.”

That’s neither true nor untrue. I’m not the kind of person who shies away from hard work, but since I haven’t held a consistent job in the entirety of my adult life, I couldn’t admit to being a workaholic.

“I want to prove myself,” I admit. I have a lot to prove, to everyone else and to myself.

“It’s unexpected,” Lila says, “But it’s nice to see a temporary hire try to so hard.”

“Temporary?” I say, confused. I’m in a probation period, sure, but I always assumed that was with the expectation that I could stay on permanently once I show everyone how capable I am. Lila is making it sound like the plan from the start has been to axe me.

“Of course. With your lack of experience, you couldn’t have thought you were hired for anything permanent.” Watching me, Lila tilts her head. “Oh, you poor thing. You did, didn’t you?”

I can’t answer that. She could already see the truth. If I try to lie, she’ll know right away.

But I refuse to give up. I’ve worked hard to be where I am. I’m not willing to throw it all away because some people think I’m disposable.

“There must be some way to be brought on permanently,” I say. “I don’t care what it is. I’ll show everyone I’m capable. Just tell me how.”

“We never needed another reporter. When Hugo brought you on, it was a surprise to all of us. I admit that you have talent, Esther, and maybe that will benefit you somewhere else. But to stay here, you would need to achieve something monumental…”

“If I get that interview with Miles, would that be enough?”

“Miles Hamilton?” She laughs. “Haven’t you figured it out by now? That’s an impossible task.”

“Not impossible,” I say. “But it is monumental.”

Lila’s smile slowly faded. “Are you serious about this?”

“I am,” I say.

Tina rubs her chin with her hand, considering my words. “I suppose, if you could somehow manage that, it would be something worthy of some kind of award. Hugo would go for it, absolutely, but despite him being the heir, he’s not the only one you have to convince.”

“Who else would I need to convince?”

“Me, for one,” Lila says. “There are many editors on staff here. While Hugo gets the final say, any one of us could tell him you are wrong for the company and just like that –” She snaps her fingers. “You’d be out.”

Lila is trying to build up a case against me, likely to make me back down and give up. She probably likes the status quo around here, doesn’t want anyone knew in the mix to shake things up. Or show her up. It hasn’t been lost on me that she’s taken credit for all the research I’ve done the past few days.

I’m a trainee. I don’t mind sharing the credit. I wouldn’t even mind letting her have the credit if it meant she could see the value in my work and fight to keep me on.

Instead, she seems happy to take the credit while watching me burn.

“But,” she says. “An interview with Miles Hamilton would likely convince a lot of the editors. We’ve all been trying very hard to land that deal. You’d earn a name for yourself for sure… if you can pull it off.”

“If landing an interview with Miles Hamilton is what it would take to secure this position for me, then I’ll do it,” I tell her.

Let her doubt me if she wants. Let them all doubt me. They don’t know that I’m as stubborn as Miles is. I will see this through.

Lila shrugs a little. “Good luck, then.” She waves me out the door.

Outside the door, Amber is leaning against the wall, obviously eavesdropping. She doesn’t bother hiding it. When I look at her, she just laughs.

“The bosses are giving you three weeks,” Amber says. “I bet you don’t even make it through one.”

Taking that gamble is tempting. I’m sure I’ll make it another week. But, frankly, Amber isn’t worth the time. On my list of people I need to prove my worth too, Amber is near the bottom. The only thing that keeps her slightly above last is that she is Miles’s friend. Else, I wouldn’t care at all.

“I’m going to my desk now,” I say. “If you’d like to continue to follow in my shadow.”

She glowers at me. “Miles will never give that interview, no matter how hard you beg him.”

I start walking. Amber does, in fact, stick in my shadow, following me.

“He pities you, like we all do, for your shitty situation,” Amber says. “But he’d never compromise his beliefs for you.”

“Are you telling me this because you are trying to prepare me for disappointment,” I say, glancing back at her. “Or are you trying to warn me away because you’re scared I could be the one to change his mind?”

Her face twists up in anger. “Like hell, you can. I’m his childhood friend, and he’s been telling me no for months.”

“Have you asked for his reasons?”

“That’s none of your damn business,” she snaps.

At my desk, I pull back my chair and sit down. Resolved to ignore Amber, I wake up my computer from its sleep mode and begin my research anew. A photo of Miles pops up on the screen. Amber sees it and huffs.

“You have a crush,” Amber says. “It’s deluding you to the reality of your situation. I’ve told you before Miles is nice to everyone, but if you continue pushing him, he’s going to stop being so nice and show you his claws. Get it? He’s a polite man, but everyone has their limits.”

It seems like Amber is talking more about herself than Miles.

“Leave him alone, Esther. Or I will step in to defend my friend.”

“If and when he tells me to back off, I will,” I say. “But he hasn’t yet.”

“He will,” Amber says. “I’ll make damn sure of that. And when it happens? I’ll laugh about it until the day I die.”