Chapter 74

“Don’t gloat,” I snap. “Mom and Dad believe you. You could murder someone right in front of them and they’d still blame me. You can do no wrong. You won, alright? Just leave me alone.”

Thea turns up her nose. “Don’t act all high and mighty, Esther. You are just jealous that I’m having Garnar’s baby.”

“Why would that make me jealous?” I demand. “I already have two children with the man.”

“You don’t have his love!” Thea says, her mockery quickly dissolving into shouting. “You don’t have his seed growing in your belly right now!”

I recoil at the mental picture. When I recover enough to speak without losing my lunch, I tell her, “I don’t care! Have twenty kids with him! It doesn’t matter to me. Get it through your head, Thea. I don’t want him.”

“You care,” Thea screeches. “You have to care!”

“Why?”

“Because you need to be jealous!”

“Why?” I insist.

“Because I want you to be!!” she explodes, her face red even in the dim light.

The front door opens again, revealing Mother inside. This time, I don’t entertain any fantasies that she might be here to make up with me.

“Thea,” Mother calls. “Come inside now. You must stay calm for the sake of the baby.”

Thea glares at me so coldly, I swear the temperature of the air drops somewhat. She doesn’t say a word more, though. Can’t, in front of Mom.

So she glares at me until she can’t anymore, turning back toward the door. She walks to Mom and they both disappear inside of the house.

Numb, I open my car door and slide inside.

I feel like a deer in headlights. I’m totally flabberghasted. I don’t know what to do or how to feel, what with the swell of emptiness washing through me.

Thea wants me to be jealous. Is that why she’s been doing all of this? But why would she need to? Doesn’t she know that though I’ve wanted her to succeed, I’ve always been jealous of her? She’s the birth daughter to our parents. They’ve always adored her.

They never hated me like they seem to do now, but I was never number one in their hearts. Adopted, I was always happy for whatever affection they did give me, but in my heart, I wished I was Thea.

To know my parents since birth…

To watch them be proud of me…

Thea didn’t need to go through all of this. She could have just asked me and I would have told her.

Yes. I’m jealous. Always have been.

I guess that’s not enough for her though. She doesn’t just want me to wish her life was my own, she wants me to suffer for it as well.

Blood or not, jealous or not, she’s my sister and I’ve wanted her happiness above my own.

That feeling, I guess, is not mutual.

Not wanting to be in this driveway anymore, I drive back into town and then pull into a 24 hour supermarket parking lot.

I don’t want to go home either and have to face Garnar. Likely Thea has told him her plans here. He’s probably poised by the garage door, just waiting for me to come in so he can rub salt in the wound.

Pulling out my cell phone, I think to call Cynthia. But things are going so well with Giancarlo that she’s extended her trip.

I hate to think it, but it seems like once again Miles might be my only answer.

I find his contact and press call.

It rings a few times, then once more. Just as I think of hanging up – he’s surely busy – he picks up.

“Esther,” he says, a pleasant smile in his voice that instantly soothes away some of my hurt.

Thea might have Garnar and our parents and this new baby, but she did not and never would have Miles Hamilton.

I exhaled the breath I didn’t realize I’ve been holding. “It’s good to hear your voice,” I say.

“Did something happen?”

“A lot of things,” I say. I listen closely, but I don’t hear any background noise behind him. Maybe he’s at home? Or is that too much to hope for? “Can we meet?”

He doesn’t answer for a moment.

Immediately, I feel like I’ve overstepped. “You know what? That’s a bad idea. I’m sorry, forget it.”

“Now, wait a minute,” Miles says. “At least let me answer.”

I quiet down and listen.

“I want to see you, Esther, but I’m stuck here at the office.”

“I understand,” I say. It was selfish of me to even suggest it. I can’t be running to Miles every time I have a problem. He has his own life. Hell, he’s running for president! He doesn’t need to field the problems of a 35 year old former housewife who technically is still married.

“But if you don’t mind it, why don’t you come here?” he asks.

My thoughts fizzle all at once, leaving my mind carefully blank. “There?” He said the office. “To the capital building?”

“Why, why not? I’ll get you clearance,” he says, making it all sound so easy.

“Miles…”

“You’re a reporter, Esther. It’s no sweat.”

I really doubt it’s that simple.

“It’s fine,” he says, laughing now. “I can hear you worrying. Stop. Just come here. By the time you pull up, I’ll have a pass for you. Show it at the door and my assistant will bring you back.”

Worry continued to eat away at me, but, at the same time, excitement courses through me. My father has been inside the capital many times, but I haven’t been since I joined him once as a child.

The history buff and government nerd inside of me would love to be able to go have access to such an iconic ad influential building, but… was it really okay?

“It’s happening, Esther. I’ve already submitted the paperwork.”

“What?! But we’ve been talking!”

“Have your id ready when you get to the door.” With that, he hangs up.

I look at my phone. Then at the clock on the dash. It’s only 7. It’s not like I’m sneaking in the middle of the night. And Miles is getting me a pass? So why do I feel like I’m doing something I’m not supposed to?

Closing my eyes I try to imagine what Cynthia would say. Cynthia, who is currently in the islands with the guy she met two weeks ago.

Okay, I know exactly what Cynthia would say.

What are you waiting for?

Putting my phone away, I put the car in drive and start my trek to the capital.

Finding parking downtown, even at this time of night, is a nightmare, so it takes me a long time of circling before someone pulls out and opens a spot. When I finally do park, I still nearly turn back to my car three times on my walk to the capital building.

I can’t believe I’m doing this.

What if I get caught? But I’m not doing anything wrong!

Around and around I go until I finally make it to the building. The guard checks my ID and hands me a pass to wear. An assistant waves at me and then leads me quietly through the maze of corridors to Miles’s office.

The door opens, and Miles is sitting behind a wide desk. The assistant ushers me inside, then closes the door behind me, leaving Miles and I alone.

Miles looks up from his desk and smiling, looks me over from head to toe. His gaze catches on my breasts.

I’m not even wearing anything particularly revealing but he must like what he sees.

I press my chest out somewhat, liking the attention.

Behind him, the curtains are drawn over the tall windows.

“You know,” he says. “These rooms are soundproof.”

Immediately the excitement takes over the anxiety, and I walk forward, accepting what’s sure to be a pleasurable fate.