Chapter 82

The moment Miles’s name falls out of Cynthia’s mouth, Odette’s eyes go wide. Her mouth drops open and she soundlessly mouths the name.

I glare at Cynthia. “I don’t want to bring him into this…” Of course I have considered his help in the past. I’m even sure he’d give it. But it feels so… transactional, especially with how intimate things have been between us. I don’t want him to think I’m the kind of girl who needs favors in exchange for sex.

“He’s your friend, isn’t he?” Cynthia asks, looking at me incredulously. “He’d do this for you.”

“It doesn’t matter that he would –”

“It does matter, actually,” Odette says. “If he supports you, we can win without question.”

“See?” Cynthia says. “He’d want to help anyway, Esther.”

I know he would, I do. But, “It’s too much to ask.”

Elbows on her knees, Odette leans forward on her chair. Focus entirely on me, she says, “Esther. Is it too much to ask if it’s for your kids?”

“She’s right,” Cynthia says. “At least ask Miles and hear him out before you turn him down flat.”

“Give him the chance to disappoint you without just assuming that he will,” Odette adds.

She doesn’t know the nature of my relationship with Miles. From the sound of it, she doesn’t know Miles at all.

There is nothing about Miles Hamilton that is disappointing.

“I’ll speak to him,” I say.

Cynthia and Odette cheer in victory, but I’m not so sure. Miles will agree to help, I know he will. But what will he think of me for asking?

For my daughters, I will do anything – even make myself seem like a sex worker.

This is not a conversation I want to have over the phone however, so that evening I text Miles to ask him to meet me for dinner the following night.

His reply is instant, Name the time.

The next day at work, rather than sit around being nervous about Miles all day, I decide to seek out and ask Hugo for his support first. As my employer, his support will be vital. Maybe he can’t speak to how I might raise my children, but he can confirm my employment and my commitment to my job.

Miles’s support could be what clenches the case, but without Hugo’s support, there isn’t any case at all. In the end, I will need both to win the day.

So gathering my nerves, after settling in for the day, I stand and go to Hugo’s office. His door is partially opened and I can see him inside, sitting at his desk, reading something off his laptop.

I knock on the door. He lifts his gaze to mine.

“Oh, Hazel. Come in. What can I do for you?”

I enter the room. “I have a favor to ask. It’s a pretty big one.”

“Of course. Come in.” He stands as I come nearer his desk, then waits for me to sit down on one of the chairs in front of the desk before he makes himself comfortable again. “Now. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m moving forward with my divorce,” I say. “I even have a lawyer now. Odette Wroth?”

“A good choice.” Leaning back in his chair, Hugo brings his hand to his chin, tapping his finger there. “What do you need from me?”

“A reference,” I say, then quickly add, “I apologize, I know it’s a lot to ask for. You’d have to come to court and speak on my character in front of a judge. It’s the custody case… It’s going to be a tough fight for my girls…”

Hugo drops his hands onto his desk and leans forward. “Hey, you aren’t asking too much. It’s okay. Deep breaths.”

I realize, now that he’s said that, that I have been breathing shallowly. I force myself to breath deeper.

“I’m happy to come to the court and talk to the judge. You can tell Ms. Wroth to add me to her list. The minute she lets me know the time and date, I will add it to my schedule.”

The relief that floods through me so strongly makes it difficult for me to breathe again.

“Esther…”

“I’m trying,” I say, and focus on taking in air once more. In and out.

Okay.

I can do this.

Breathe.

When I finally recover, I open my eyes to see Hugo looking at me in concern.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “This means so much to me. I’m so worried I’m going to lose my daughters.”

“You won’t,” Hugo says. He’s very assured, very confident. He takes charge of situations so easily.

So when he says I won’t lose my girls, I believe him. In fact, his confidence is so obvious, that my own confidence starts to grow as well.

This allows me to sit up straighter in my seat, and makes the idea of facing Miles later easier as well. If Hugo said he would help this easily, perhaps Miles would be the same.

“Feeling better?” Hugo asks.

“Yes, thank you.”

He nods. “I’m happy to lend my assistance, but unfortunately this will take more than just me. Of course, Ms. Wroth must know that. Who else are you seeking help from, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Cynthia,” I say. “And maybe Mr. Carver, from the country club.”

“Good choice.”

“And… Miles Hamilton.”

Hugo sits straighter suddenly. He doesn’t say anything right away but he looks like he wants to.

So I prompt, “Mr. Harbinger? Is something wrong?”

“Forgive me,” he says and jostles his head some, as if clearing it. “I’m sure Miles would be happy to lend you his assistance.”

I felt like he had more to say, so I prompted once more. “But?”

“He is a scoundrel, Esther. His public reputation is solid, even for someone so young, and therefore I’m sure he’ll make a good impression on the judge. But those of us that know him personally, know that he is a reckless playboy.”

I try to take the words in stride, even as they sting me. Even with the things we’ve done, I know Miles has no tie to me. We are not in a relationship. He can do anything he wants with whoever he wants at any time he wants. It’s none of my business.

Yet, for whatever the reason, it still hurts.

“He’ll agree to help you, I’m sure,” Hugo continues. “He’ll probably even want to. But will he actually show up on the day? That’s where the question lies.”

“Thank you again, Hugo,” I say, ready for this nightmare of a conversation to be over. I stand. “I should get back to work.”

He stands too. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Esther…”

“I’m not hurt,” I lie. “I appreciate you looking out for me.” Not a lie. “I just want to get back to work.”

Hugo nods and leaving his office, I make my way back to my desk.

When I get there, I turn off my thoughts for a while and focus solely on the work ahead of me. It’s easy to delay my worries when I look at the growing state of my to-do folder.

Later, when five o’clock rolls around and it’s time to leave, I walk out to the parking lot when I receive a phone call from Miles.

“Esther, I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m going to have to reschedule. Something’s come up.”

There’s talking behind him, though I can’t make it out exactly. It sounds like a woman, and she’s angry.

“Everything alright?” I ask.

“Yes. I’ll talk to you later, alright?”

“Okay,” I say, and then I hear it.

“Miles, come on. You said we could talk.” That woman’s voice belongs to Amber.