Chapter One

The biggest regret of my life was falling in love with my Zio, Lucian Moretti.

When I was ten, my father took a bullet for the Moretti family. At the funeral, that tall man held me, an orphan now, in his arms and promised to keep me safe for the rest of my life.

When I was fifteen, I was bullied at my private school. He showed up and made the girls who'd tormented me get down on their knees and apologize.

When I was eighteen, he was badly wounded in a shootout and nearly died. Against the doctors' advice, I gave him part of my liver.

That same day, I stole a kiss from him, and he woke up just in time to see it.

There was no sweetness like I'd imagined. All that waited for me was his horror, and an endless, icy distance.

Until Bianca, the first love he'd never gotten over, was dying, and I was the only match.

The man who had always been so cold came to me and said that if I'd give her a kidney, he would give me anything I asked for.

I said nothing. I didn't agree. And Bianca died on the operating table.

He didn't shed a single tear. It was as if nothing had happened.

But seven days after Bianca's funeral, he made public the diary that held every one of my girlhood secrets.

He nailed me to a pillar of shame for the rest of my life: the girl who fell in love with her own guardian.

On my birthday, he drugged me, dragged me into one of the family's warehouses, and let his men do whatever they wanted to me.

He stood off to the side and watched. All he said was:

"Don't flatter yourself that I'd ever touch you. You disgust me."

At the end, he threw a bucket of ice water on me when I was about to pass out.

Through the haze, I saw him walking toward me, step by step, a knife in his hand.

The blade came down. His voice was cold as ice. "This is what you owe Bianca."

When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the day he begged me for my kidney.

——

Chapter One

"I'm begging you. This kidney might not mean much to you, but without it, Bianca will die."

"If you'll give it to her, whatever you ask for, I'll do everything in my power to make it happen."

Lucian's pleading voice rang in my ears, and I snapped back to myself.

I had been reborn.

In my last life, I refused him on this exact day, and I ended up dying a death too horrible to describe.

But back then, I'd already lost part of my liver for him. How could I risk losing a kidney too?

Living this life a second time, I finally understood everything.

If I didn't give it, I'd die anyway. I'd let this kidney be my payment for the eleven years he raised me. Once it was done, we'd be even. Completely.

I clenched my fists and answered firmly. "I'll do it."

Whatever else Lucian had been about to say caught in his throat. The doctor beside us went pale.

"Ms. Rossi, have you really thought this through? In general, we don't recommend that someone who's already donated an organ donate a second one. It makes the surgery much more difficult, and there's a risk of death."

But I nodded firmly.

How could I not know the risks? But if it meant getting away from Lucian, I'd be willing to die for it.

Only after he watched me sign the donor consent form with his own eyes did Lucian's anxiety finally ease.

I could tell he'd thought I was lying to him. He hadn't expected me to actually sign, much less without hesitating.

He looked at me, and his expression softened.

"Since you've agreed, I'll keep my word. Whatever you want, just ask."

"I only want one thing. I want out of the Moretti family. From now on, I'm not a Moretti anymore."

His brow furrowed hard. "Are you serious?"

I knew he'd thought I would use this to make him marry me. He never imagined I'd ask to cut ties with him.

I looked at him, my voice cool. "Yes."

He stared at me suspiciously for a few seconds, and his face darkened.

"Stella, I'd advise you to drop the little schemes. Don't think that once you're out of the family, you and I will have a chance."

"There will never be anything between us. There's only one person in my heart, and that's Bianca. Not you."

My eyelashes trembled. "I know."

The torment of my last life was still vivid in my mind. How could I not know how much he loved Bianca?

So in this life, I wouldn't love him anymore. All I wanted was to get as far away from him as I could.

His eyes lingered on my face a moment longer, as if he could tell something about me had changed but couldn't say what.

He was about to speak when Bianca's voice came from inside the hospital room.

He rushed in almost on instinct. I lowered my eyes and followed.

Bianca was coughing, her eyes red. "Lucian, stop pressuring Ms. Rossi. I know she doesn't like me. Even if she won't donate, I understand."

She wanted to go on, but Lucian took her hand tightly, his voice full of joy. "Bianca, Stella agreed to donate. You're going to be okay!"

Bianca's voice broke off. She looked at me in shock, her eyes turning red. "Lucian, is her condition that you marry her?"

Before Lucian could open his mouth, Bianca raised her hand and slapped me across the face.

Pain burst across my cheek. Bianca pressed a hand to her chest, upset.

"Stella, do you have no shame? He's your Zio. He raised you. How could you do something so low?"

"Lucian, if you marry her, I'd rather die right now!"

Lucian didn't even look at me, the one who'd just been hit. He only pulled Bianca tightly into his arms. "Bianca, you're the only one I love. You're the only one I'll ever marry. Anyone else can forget it."

I held my stinging cheek, a bitter smile tugging at my lips, and knew enough to step out.

At the door, I heard them talking.

"She's already given you part of her liver. If she gives me a kidney too, will she be in danger?"

I stopped. Somewhere deep down, I found myself hoping for his answer.

The next second, that hope was cut to pieces.

"Bianca, you know this. Except for you, I don't care whether anyone else lives or dies. As long as you get better, that's enough."

I walked out of the hospital room, calmed myself for a few seconds, and called my advisor.

"Hello, Professor? That rural teaching program you mentioned last time. I'd like to join."

My advisor was thrilled.

"That's wonderful, Stella. I'm proud of you. Those kids need young people like you who are willing to give."

"But the program is hard, and the place is very remote. It's in Alaska."

"Your guardian is so protective of you. Will he agree?"

I gripped my phone, my voice firm. "I don't need his permission. I can make my own decisions."

When I hung up, all my strength drained out of me. I wanted to lean back against the wall.

But the moment I took a step back, I bumped into a solid chest.

I jumped. Lucian's brow was knit tight. "Who were you talking to? Join what?"

I answered calmly. "Oh, my professor asked if I wanted to join a club at school."

He didn't ask anything else. He just told me, the way he'd announce an order, "The surgery is in a week. In the meantime, I'm bringing Bianca to stay at the house."

He paused, as if remembering something, his voice cold. "And I don't want to find any more of those strange letters in my study. I don't want Bianca getting the wrong idea."

I turned my head away, my nails digging into my palms, and agreed bitterly. "Fine."

Ever since he caught me kissing him, I had written him a love letter every week, every page crammed full, just to tell him how I felt.

But every one of those letters ended up in the trash.

And still I kept writing, refusing to give up.

I never imagined that what I saw as confessions full of love, he saw as strange and shameful.

Once I'd agreed, he didn't say anything else. He gave his driver a few instructions and went back into the room.

An hour later, I saw his black armored sedan pull up at the hospital entrance. He helped Bianca into the back seat so carefully.

I hurried downstairs to the curb.

My hand had just touched the car door when the car pulled away, leaving me in a cloud of exhaust.

I froze where I stood. A second later, a text from him came in:

Bianca's a germaphobe. She doesn't like the smell of strangers. Get a cab.

I put down my phone and flagged a passing taxi.

In the cab, I stared out the window without a word. The driver asked kindly, "Miss, your face looks pretty bad. Want me to stop at a pharmacy?"

I shook my head, but my eyes stung even more.

The people I called family hadn't said one caring word to me from start to finish. The only person who cared was a stranger.

How ironic. How ridiculous.

After a long while, the cab stopped outside the iron gates of the Moretti estate on Long Island. I got out and pushed open the front door.

As soon as I walked in, I didn't see Lucian. I only saw Bianca playing with a necklace.

I looked closer and realized it was the jade pendant I kept locked in my safe.

It was the only thing my parents had left me. I treasured it so much I could hardly bear to touch it.

And now it was in Bianca's hands.

My face went cold. I held out my hand. "Give me back my pendant."

"Ms. Lane, you walked into my room without my permission. Is that how a girl from a good family is raised?"

Bianca's face turned ugly, but Lucian's voice came down from upstairs first. "I let her in."

"Sooner or later, Bianca will be the lady of this house. She can go into any room she likes."

"Besides, as long as she's happy, even if she wanted to move into your room, you'd have no right to object."

He stopped in front of me, looking me over with a cold, blank face.

I went pale. Seeing Lucian come down, Bianca became even bolder. "It's just a cheap pendant. If you want it so badly, fine, I'll give it back."

She held the pendant out to me.

The second I reached for it, it fell straight onto the marble floor and broke in two.

"No!"

In that instant, the pendant shattered.

And my heart shattered with it.

It was the only thing my parents had left me. The only piece of them I had.

My eyes burned red. I pushed Bianca aside and dropped to my knees on the floor without any dignity at all.

I tried to fit the pieces back together, but nothing could change the fact that it was broken.

Bianca stood there awkwardly, probably not expecting me to react so strongly.

Lucian frowned slightly. After all these years living together, it was probably the first time he'd seen me lose control.

But when he saw how scared Bianca looked, he frowned and comforted her anyway.

"All right, Bianca didn't mean to. How much was the pendant? I'll pay you for it."