Chapter 111

Matt called me the next evening, his voice more subdued than usual. Only a day had gone by since I’d last seen him, but I missed him, anyway. My heart jumped in my chest at his tone, fear spreading through my veins. Everything between us was still so unsure. I couldn’t help but imagine it collapsing around me again, leaving me even more heartbroken than I was the last time. Our date yesterday was amazing, but I couldn’t help but feel like I’d somehow done something wrong.

“Everything okay?” I finally asked, pacing the length of my room.

The sound of the TV drifted up the stairs, and I could hear the ins-and-outs of the game even with my door closed. Jack and his friends we spread over the couches, watching hockey, and drinking beer. I had to go downstairs soon to get their dinner ready, not wanting to anger Jack when he was finally letting me be with Matt.

“What do you mean?”

“You sound tired,” I ventured, afraid I might inadvertently start a fight. Hopefully, he took it for what it was–worry.

“Oh, I just had a late night. I didn’t realize I was being more subdued than usual.”

“I should let you rest,” I said.

“I was calling to ask if you wanted to go out tomorrow. I have a game, but we can grab some food after. I’d love to see you there.”

“I should be able to swing it…” I said, already brainstorming ways I could bring it up to Jack. Maybe Fiona could go with me again. There was no way Jack would be okay with me going alone. She always enjoyed the games, and I knew she’d be willing to help me and Matt, based on the thumbs up she gave me yesterday when she saw us together. “I’ll need to get a jersey with your name on it.”

He was silent for a moment. “That’s definitely something I need to see.” His voice was low and sultry and a rush of want stole through me. I wanted to see him so badly. It was almost a necessity. That’s how strong the urge was. I needed his lips on mine again. I needed his hands tracing my curves. I needed more of him.

“Then you should get me a jersey,” I replied, feeling bold.

“Oh, I’m already on it.”

I grinned. “I’ll be there tomorrow.”

“Good. I’m excited to see you.” He said it so earnestly that I immediately believed him. It was still difficult for me to believe that he loved me, even though he had made a point of saying it to me multiple times. I still heard his angry voice at the ball, telling me how he’d never be with his friend’s little sister.

“I love you, Celeste,” he said, as if he could hear my thoughts.

“Do you?” I muttered, feeling suddenly small. How could he love me? Why did he want to spend so much time with me? Sure, I could understand it when I was just Rose to him, but that was just one side of me. Celeste was an entirely different story.

“Celeste,” he said, sounding a bit sad. “I love every side of you.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but my bedroom door banging open interrupted me. Jack stood in the doorway, a scowl on his face. He’d been testy all day, but now he looked downright mad.

“Are you going to stay on the phone all night?” he snapped.

“No, we were just about to hang up,” I answered.

Matt was silent on the other end. I had a feeling he could hear everything Jack was saying.

“Then do it. My friends and I are hungry.”

“Sorry, just give me a minute to say goodbye.”

He gave me a scornful look but retreated. He left the door open, and I waited until I heard his footsteps descend the stairs.

“I’m sorry, I need to go,” I said into the phone the minute Jack was gone.

“I hate the way he talks to you,” Matt answered, a hard edge to his voice. “I’ve always hated it.”

“I know, but he has his reasons.”

“There isn’t a good reason for him to treat you like this,” he said softly. “You shouldn’t expect that sort of treatment from people. You don’t deserve to be talked to like that. Ever.” He was starting to sound a lot like Fiona, and I couldn’t really blame him. Still, it made me a little sad to hear him talk about Jack that way. They used to be such good friends, but Matt never came around to hang out with him anymore. I’d basically ripped their friendship apart.

“It’s complicated,” I said, the words a familiar mantra.

“I know.” For a moment, I pictured him running his fingers through his hair in frustration, messing up the wavy strands.

“I should really go,” I answered, biting my lip. I really didn’t want to hang up, but if I didn’t get downstairs soon, there was no way Jack would agree to let me go to the game tomorrow. And I had to see Matt.

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said.

“I’ll be the one cheering.”

He chuckled softly. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Matt.”

I hung up, a warm feeling gathering in my chest.

When I got downstairs, Jack shot me a dirty look. I hurried to the kitchen and got started on dinner, my mind entirely on Matt as I prepared the meal. Maybe there was a way I could help repair his and Jack’s relationship. Even if things were tense between them now, that didn’t mean they had to stay that way forever. I didn’t want my brother to lose his best friend over this. And I knew it was likely bothering Matt a lot, too.

I brought the boys their food, then retreated upstairs with a plate of my own.

Jack followed me. “Celeste,” he said, stopping me halfway up the stairs.

I turned, my heart drumming against my chest. “I know I agreed to let you date, but I don’t want it to take over your life. No more spending hours on the phone with him. You’ve got schoolwork, and things here that you need to do.”

“Okay.”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “Remember what we talked about.”

My cheeks heated instantly.

“I can’t imagine Matt making a move, but you never know. There’s no accounting for taste, I guess.”

A low, mean chuckle floated out from the living room, and I immediately wanted to shrink into myself.

“I remember,” I mumbled.

Tears welled in my eyes, but I willed them away. I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of crying. I knew I wasn’t the best-looking girl on campus, and I sometimes still wondered what Matt saw in me, but he said that he loved me. He had to be attracted to me to love me, right?

“Can I go now?” I asked.

Jack glared for a minute longer, then nodded.

I turned and jogged upstairs. I shut my bedroom door behind me and left my plate on my desk.

I dug through my closet until I found a pair of tight black jeans and a black tank top I’d borrowed from Fiona. The tank top was tight, hugging my curves and making my boobs look huge. I’d have my coat on during the game, but after, Matt would see it when we were alone. I wasn’t going to let Jack get in my head.

He’d clearly been lying to me my whole life. Maybe that meant he was lying now, too. He just didn’t want me and Matt to be together.

If Matt found me attractive, I’d definitely know after tomorrow night. It was the type of shirt a guy couldn’t ignore if they really wanted a girl. Maybe it was unfair to give him another test, but I needed to know that Jack was wrong. I needed it to be clear that Matt wanted me as me, and not just as Rose–the hot, mysterious girl I pretended to be.