Chapter 142

Dinner took a few hours in the oven before it was ready. We got through a movie, and the first half of another, before the timer finally went off.

We chose to eat in the breakfast nook, opting for a more intimate setting rather than the huge dining table. Matt served the food and poured me a beer. He poured himself a glass as well, before sitting down in the seat near me, his knee pressed into my thigh.

I took a sip of my drink. While I still wasn’t used to drinking alcohol, I was coming around to beer. I enjoyed the somewhat bitter taste.

“This looks great!” I said, eyeing the roast. The smell of spices and cooked meat wafted up with the steam, and my stomach growled. Matt pressed his knee in closer.

“Go on, dig in,” he answered, evidently hearing the noises my stomach was making.

I didn’t have to be told twice.

We ate in silence for a bit. I was too busy enjoying the food to think of anything else. Matt was a good cook, a really good cook.

“You know, you do this thing where you hum while you eat.”

I flushed. “Oh, yeah. I’ve always done that.”

“It’s cute.”

“I only do it when I’m really enjoying my food.”

He smiled.

“You’re great at this,” I said.

His smile widened. It was a wonderful thing to see after the past two days. “Cooking or flirting?”

“Both,” I replied, my food momentarily forgotten. For the first time all day, his smile reached his eyes. He looked carefree, almost happy. I knew it wouldn’t last long, that eventually he’d remember what happened and what he’d had to do, but at least for a moment he was content.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he said.

“Me too.”

He watched me for a moment, then went back to eating. I followed suit, finishing my plate without any difficulty.

When we were both done, Matt cleared the plates and cleaned up the kitchen. I offered to help, but he just shook his head. “Go relax,” he said. “I’ll be done in a minute.”

I nodded and sat in the living room. I’d left my phone upstairs, and there was nothing to distract me from my own thoughts. Maybe it wasn't a good time, and this wasn’t the right place, but I couldn’t deny that I wanted him. All of him. I was tired of waiting, tired of letting my reservations and fears get the better of me. I wanted to be intimate with Matt in every way I could be.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

I jumped slightly. I hadn’t noticed Matt come in, but he was leaning against the doorframe, looking at me. He tilted his head as he took in the expression on my face.

“Nothing interesting,” I said, trying hard to shove back the embarrassment. There was nothing to be embarrassed about.

“I doubt that.” He gestured outside at the deck. “Want to check out the hot tub?”

I swallowed hard, remembering the last time we were in a hot tub together. I knew he wouldn’t question it if I said no, and that even if I went with him, he wouldn’t expect anything. But my heart rate kicked up, anyway.

“Yeah, sure,” I said.

He nodded, and I followed him outside onto the deck. He must have turned it on earlier because it was already hot.

“I thought we might want to come out here,” he admitted, rubbing at the back of his neck. It was weird to see him embarrassed.

“I’m glad you did,” I said.

“Good, good.” He turned away from me and took off the hot tub cover. He started the jets and looked over his shoulder at me. “Like last time?”

“Yes.”

He turned back around and pulled his t-shirt over his head, revealing the sculpted muscles along his back. His wounds were completely gone now. Not even the red lines remained to show where they had been. I took him in as he bent down to pull off his shoes and socks, then his jeans. When he was just in his boxers, I turned away and started stripping off my own clothes.

“Ready?” he asked.

I looked over my shoulder. He was still standing with his back to me, completely naked now. He didn’t turn around, and I knew he was waiting for a signal from me.

“I’m ready,” I said, goosebumps rising across my bare skin as a gust of wind swept through the yard.

He turned and soaked me in, his eyes roving over my body. A gleam came into his eyes and the corner of his mouth turned up. “Stunning,” he breathed.

“Says you,” I murmured, tracing the hard lines of his sculpted torso down to his feet. The urge to take a step forward and explore his body with my hands and mouth came over me.

“Come on,” he said, his grin wide. “You look cold.”

He got into the hot tub and held out his hand for me. I got in carefully, sitting down on the bench beside him. A moment later, he put his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. “Thank you,” he said into my neck, planting a kiss there after each word. A shiver crawled down my spine, despite the heat of the water.

“For what?”

He looked up at me, his blue eyes shining. “For being here with me. I don’t want to do this without you.”

“This?”

“Anything,” he breathed.

“You won’t have to.”

He gave me a sad smile that I couldn’t stand to see. It was like he was expecting me to disappear in a cloud of smoke. I leaned forward and kissed him lightly, desperate to chase away his sudden melancholy. A shudder went through him as our chest pressed together. He pulled me tighter against him, deepening the kiss.

Stream rose around us as Matt trailed kisses down the side of my neck. I titled my head back to give him better access. He ran his hands over my shoulders, then down my sides. He made his way back up to my breasts, which he cupped between his hands.

I groaned and captured his mouth with mine. I wasn’t very experienced, but everything felt easy with Matt. Being with him was second nature.

I felt him with my hands, running my fingers over his smooth skin. His powerful body shuddered under my touch as I trailed my hand down his chest and over his sculpted stomach. His breath hitched as I reached the deep-V of his hips, his muscles tightening beneath my fingers.

“I want to make you feel good,” I said.

He sucked in a breath as my hand moved lower, my fingers trailing over his hard length. “Okay.”

“What do I do?”

He kissed me and captured my hand with his. I wrapped my fingers around him, and he showed me what to do for a moment before letting go. I continued the motions he’d shown me, and he grasped onto the edge of the hot tub.

“Like this?” I murmured.

He nodded. “Yup, totally. Exactly like that.” He sounded out of breath, and the sound of it sent a rush of heat through me.

His breathing quickened as I picked up the pace. He kissed me, running his hand through my half-dry, half-wet hair.

“Matt?” I said, leaning back slightly.

“Yeah?”

“I want you.”

He gave me a quizzical look.

“All of you.”

It suddenly dawned on him what I was saying. “Oh…are you sure? You know there’s no rush.”

I gave him a quick kiss. “I’m sure.”