Chapter 157

Weeks went by, and I counted the days by clawing gouge marks into the concrete wall beside my bed. I’d finally mastered getting my claws to appear and retract, though I still hadn’t managed a full shift. Despite hearing my wolf, demanding that I give in, I just couldn’t do it. Alyx, in his infinite wisdom, though I had some sort of mental block.

“You’re the one choosing not to shift,” he said, circling me. “You’re afraid to give in.”

We were in the training ring. Jeremy stood off the side, his arms folded across his chest. He wasn’t as outwardly impatient as Alyx, but his hits landed just as hard. Sure, I was getting better, but I wasn’t catching up to them.

I spat a glob of blood, wincing at the pain in my mouth.

“Well, I don’t know what you want me to do,” I countered, losing my patience. “I’ve never done this before. It’s not intuitive to me.”

He rolled his eyes. “You know exactly what I want you to do.”

He continued to circle me, his eyes bright. I knew he enjoyed this, and I hated him for it. Every morning, he used training as an excuse to beat me up. He kept saying it would make me stronger, more capable, and maybe he was right, but that didn’t mean I had to like it.

My only saving grace was my dance training. It turned out that dancing was a lot like fighting. I’d managed to avoid more hits than I ever landed, but at least it was something. I could dance and swirl out of the way better than anyone.

He came at me, and I twisted to the side, narrowly missing a punch to the side of the head. I kicked out, aiming for his knees, but he was too fast. He darted out of the way, whistling low in his throat.

“You’re getting faster, but it’s not enough. You’re a wolf. A powerful one. You can do more than this.”

I remained on the defensive. I’d made the mistake of trying to attack him during my first week. That hadn’t ended well for me. In fact, it resulted in a broken arm, a cracked rib, and so many bruises that for days I looked like a plum. Not that any of my injuries got me out of training. Oh no. I had to learn to fight through the pain.

“You’re an asshole,” I snarled.

He laughed and darted forward. Unfortunately, he anticipated my move this time, and when I twisted to the side, his fist was there to meet me. He connected hard with my ribs, and I heard a slight crack as I dropped to the ground. I dug my hands into the dirt, panting hard.

He kicked me in the side, and I fell onto my back. Pale clouds drifted across the sky, and a cold breeze cut through the clearing, drying the sweat on my forehead. Winter was fast approaching, and with it, the promise of snow.

I wanted to see it stained with Alyx’s blood.

My own thoughts shocked me enough that I froze. I’d never wished to harm someone like that before. Was that the wolf in me, or was I succumbing to the darkness of this place? Maybe they really were making me just like them.

“This is boring,” Jeremy drawled as I struggled to my feet.

He walked toward me, and I braced myself for an assault. Pain lanced across my ribs and up my back, but I breathed through it. I knew it wouldn’t stop him.

Instead of attacking, he halted in front of me. His eyes turned gold, and his fangs descended. Long, sharp claws appeared.

“Now you,” he said through his teeth.

I closed my eyes and concentrated hard, letting my anger and fear wash over me. Using my emotions was the only way I knew how to bring the wolf forward.

A moment later, my claws descended, and I felt my canines elongate. It was only a half shift, but at least it was something.

He lunged for me, and I darted to the side, snarling. He dragged his claws up my side, and I yelped as blood spilled across my t-shirt. I didn’t have time to stop, though. He was already looping around, heading for me again.

I met him there and got a few good cuts in. I got him across the face, leaving claw marks down the side of his pale cheek. Oh shit, I thought. Blood dripped off the end of his chin, even as the skin knit itself back together.

The gold of his eyes deepened, and hair began to sprout across his body. He dropped to his knees, his bones crunching. It sounded painful and horrible. Then he was a wolf. A big gray wolf with white paws and a white chest.

He circled me, his hackles raised. Goosebumps rose across my skin, and I gave Alyx a frantic look. Neither of them had ever attacked me while shifted. They’d shown me the shift a few times, trying to spark something from me, but all it did was freak me out.

Alyx just smiled and watched his brother. “You shouldn’t have done that,” he said.

Dread settled in my gut. I watched Jeremy, waiting for him to make his move. It came quicker than I expected, and he knocked into me, knocking me into the dirt. I struggled against him, but he was too heavy.

Fear cut through me, and a voice rose in my head, demanding that I give in to the shift. For the first time, I didn't hold back. Jeremy was snarling in my ear, his spittle landing on the side of my face. I was holding his jaws away from my face, but he wasn’t stopping.

The shift came over me. Bones in my body began to snap and reform. I cried out and Jeremy backed away, still growling. It happened so quickly, and yet it felt like hours. It was the most painful thing I’d ever felt. A scream escaped my lips, but it sounded more like a howl.

I forced myself up, clumsily trying to find my balance. My paws were big and chocolate brown. I snarled as Jeremy circled me again.

Before he could react, I dove for him, my hackles raised. I let instinct take over, giving myself completely to the wolf. I clawed at his side and latched onto his back, biting down. He yelped and twisted his head around, aiming for my front leg. He bit down and I opened my mouth, a whine escaping my lips.

I pushed away from him, using my claws to scour his belly. He dropped to the side, and blood dripped down into the dirt.

Before I could react, another wolf slammed into me, taking me off my feet. He had his mouth around my neck, and I instantly went limp, giving over to instinct.

There came the crunching of bones, and then Jeremy was sitting in the dirt, his hand pressed to his side. He was completely naked, his clothing shredded. When he pulled his hand away, it was soaked in blood.

His gaze met mine.

“Shift back,” he said. “If you want to keep your neck.”

It was hard. My wolf didn’t want to give in, but I managed to bring the change over me again. The pain was even worse the second time, and I slumped against the ground the moment I was human again. Alyx let me go and backed away.

“Well, well,” Jeremy said, struggling to his feet. He kept his hand pressed to his side. “Someone’s got a little bite to them after all.”

Alyx shifted, standing over me with a scowl. I averted my eyes. Naturally, he didn’t grant me the same courtesy.

“See, that wasn’t so hard.”

I wanted to kill him.