Chapter 172

Matt

I opened my eyes, squinting against the light spilling in around the thin curtains. Celeste was asleep next to me, her head resting on my mostly numb arm. I held her close to my chest with the other. I closed my eyes, hoping I could slip back into sleep, but it was no use.

She shifted in her sleep, pressing back against me. I tucked my face into the back of her neck and breathed in her scent. It was soft, like sunshine and grass, and I let it wash over me. It still felt like a dream, having her here. I half expected to wake up and discover none of it was real. That she was still in that place, and I couldn’t help her.

Every time I thought about it, my chest tightened. No matter what she said to reassure me, I knew I’d failed her. I’d never forgive myself for that.

She sighed in her sleep and rolled slightly away. I slid my arm out from under her head, careful not to make any sudden movements. She settled into the pillow without waking, and I got out of bed, trying not to jostle her too much.

I crossed over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of old jeans and a sweater. They were a bit too big for me now, but I at least had a belt to hold up my pants. I threw on a jacket and tied my boots, trying to be as quiet as possible. She didn’t stir as I changed and used the bathroom. When I reemerged, she was still curled onto her side, her hair spilling across the pillows.

I wrote her a quick note, leaving it on the side table next to her.

When I stepped outside, a cool breeze swept past, rustling my hair, and cutting through my thin coat. Pink and purple clouds drifted above me as the sun creeped up to the top of the sky. I took a deep breath, the scent of dirt and leaves filling my senses. It was still cold out, but spring was coming. It felt good after the long, panic-filled winter we’d had.

The main building was empty when I walked in. I shouldered my way into the kitchen and the double doors swung shut behind me. Enzo stood by the coffeemaker, his eyes puffy and red. I considered backing away, but he turned to meet my gaze.

He gestured to the coffeemaker. “Want some?”

“Yeah, sure.” I moved closer.

The coffee maker took a few minutes to brew, but neither of us spoke as we waited. The silence was tense. I considered saying something but decided against it. They were the ones who wronged me. I had nothing to apologize for, and it wasn’t my job to make things less awkward for him. He and Nina made their choice. They left me out in the cold.

The coffee maker fell silent, and Enzo removed the pot. He filled one of the white porcelain cups to the brim and slid it across the counter to me.

“Thanks,” I mumbled.

He nodded and filled up his own cup. Both of us drank our coffee black.

“Sleep well?” he asked, his voice gruff.

“As good as I ever do these days,” I answered.

His shoulders were tense as he turned to look at me. He took a sip of his coffee, wincing slightly as the hot liquid touched his lips. I blew on mine. Steam curled up from the cup, disappearing in the light from the window.

“Are we ever going to talk about this?” Enzo asked, an edge to his voice.

I frowned. “Talk about what?”

He gave me a hard look. The sort of look he used to give us on the ice when the team wasn’t playing well, or we were getting into trouble. My body strained to obey him, to give in like I’d always done, but I resisted the urge. I used to follow him blindly. Not anymore.

“Don’t play dumb,” he said.

“Just because Celeste got out doesn’t mean all is forgiven,” I said, setting my cup down on the counter. “She spent months in that place, and we never made any real effort to get her out. She was tortured and beaten. I don’t care how reasonable your choices were. I can’t forgive it.”

“Matt…”

“If it had been Nina, and I was telling you to wait. To be cautious. That it wasn’t worth the risk. Would you be so keen to forgive me?”

He clenched his jaw. “We have to think about other people. It isn’t just about you and Celeste. We have an entire pack to protect. Their lives aren’t less valuable than hers.”

“You're my friend and you failed me.”

His face reddened, and I braced myself for a fight. “I wanted to help Celeste. We both did. Look, it sucks we couldn’t get to her fast enough, but we weren’t willing to sacrifice the others. I’m sorry if that’s hard to hear, but we have other people relying on us. You are not the only important person here.”

“I never said I was.” I stared him straight in the eye. I needed him to hear this. “If the roles were reversed, I wouldn’t have hesitated. I’d have done anything to help you. That’s what friends do.”

He shook his head. “We sent most of the people with you. We set up surveillance. We all put a lot of time and effort into helping you.”

“You weren’t there,” I snarled.

“So that’s what this is really about.”

I took a step forward. “You didn’t show up for me.”

“Someone had to stay behind and keep the town safe. If you really needed me up there with you, you should have just asked.”

“I shouldn’t have had to ask!”

“Woah…”

We whipped around. Fiona stood near the still swinging doors, wide-eyed. “Sorry,” she said, wincing slightly. “I can just…” She pointed behind her, back toward the doors.

“No, stay,” I said. “We’re done here, anyway.”

“No, we’re not,” Enzo answered.

I picked up my cup and walked over to Fiona. “Help yourself to coffee.”

She nodded, her eyes darting between me and Enzo. I slipped past her and headed into the main room. Seth and Jenna were just walking in, their hands intertwined. I nodded at them, and they returned the gesture. To my relief, Enzo didn’t follow me.

I knew the argument wasn’t over. It was on hold, but Enzo wouldn’t let it go. Neither would I, for that matter. I didn’t know how to fix things between us or if it was possible. We’d been friends for so long, but I couldn’t get past my anger and hurt.

I took a seat in the far corner. Jack walked in a moment later and headed straight for me. He sat down across from me.

“Can I help you?” I asked.

Jack rolled his eyes. “Unfortunately, you’re the only tolerable person here.”

I sighed. “There’s coffee in the kitchen.”

He nodded but didn’t get up to leave. “Where’s Celeste?”

“Still asleep. I have to run into town to get us some clothes. Think you can hang with her today?”

“Sure, of course,” he said.

“We have a gun range down the hill. I know Celeste wants to learn. Maybe you can show her the ropes.”

Jack’s face looked pained, but he nodded. “I guess it’s necessary for her to learn.”

“Very.”

Jack nodded. “Alright then. I’ll teach her.”

“Thanks.”

I took a sip of my coffee. Enzo walked out of the kitchen a moment later, two cups of coffee in his hands. He headed for the doors, his gaze straying on me and Jack as he walked by. His eyes narrowed, but he turned away. A moment later, he was gone. Probably bringing Nina coffee like the perfect boyfriend he was.

“Trouble in paradise,” Jack said, following my gaze.

“Fuck off,” I muttered.

Jack just laughed.